You probably remember Sara Gilbert as the sarcastic, plaid-wearing Darlene Conner. Or maybe you know her as the sharp-witted creator of The Talk. But for a long time, the person standing right next to her was a bit of a mystery to the general public. People often search for "Sara Gilbert first wife," but there is a bit of a technicality there that most people miss.
The woman in question is Ali Adler.
Technically, Ali Adler wasn’t her "wife" in the legal sense—they were partners for a decade before marriage equality was the law of the land in the U.S. But for all intents and purposes, they were a family. They raised kids. They built a life. They stayed together from 2001 to 2011. Honestly, in Hollywood years, a ten-year run is basically a century.
Who Exactly Is Ali Adler?
Ali Adler isn't just "the ex." She is a massive powerhouse in the television industry. If you’ve ever watched Supergirl or Chuck, you’ve seen her work. She co-created The New Normal and has written for everything from Family Guy to Glee.
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Basically, they were a total media power couple.
While Sara was in front of the camera, Ali was usually behind it, pulling the strings and making the magic happen. They started dating in 2001, which was a very different time for queer celebrities. Back then, "coming out" wasn't the casual Instagram post it is today. Sara was famously private. She didn't want her personal life to be the headline.
The Family They Built Together
During those ten years, they didn't just attend industry parties. They became parents.
- Levi Hank: Born in October 2004. Ali was the one who gave birth to him.
- Sawyer Jane: Born in August 2007. This time, Sara gave birth.
It’s kinda cool how they shared that experience, right? They were building a modern family before the show Modern Family even hit the airwaves. For years, they managed to keep their kids out of the tabloid frenzy, which is probably why people are still so curious about them today. They weren't "fame-hungry." They were just living.
The Big Reveal on The Talk
Everything changed around 2010. Sara was launching The Talk, and you can't really host a show about sharing your life if you're hiding a huge part of it. At a press event, she finally confirmed what many had guessed: she was a lesbian.
She later admitted that she was super shy about it. She didn't want to be a "poster child"; she just wanted to be herself. But just as the public was getting to know the "real" Sara Gilbert, the relationship that had defined her adult life was coming to an end.
Why Did They Break Up?
In August 2011, the news broke. They were splitting up.
The representative at the time called it "completely amicable." You hear that a lot in celebrity PR, but in this case, it actually seemed to be true. There were no messy court battles splashed across the front page of the Post. No "insider sources" trashing either of them. They just grew apart after a decade together.
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It’s interesting because shortly after the split, Sara started dating songwriter Linda Perry (the one who actually became her legal wife later on). But Ali remained a constant presence because of the kids.
The Difference Between a Partner and a Wife
This is where the Google searches get tricky. If you’re looking for Sara Gilbert's first legal wife, that would be Linda Perry. They married in 2014. But if you’re looking for the first person she built a lifelong partnership with, it’s Ali Adler.
The timing is the only reason Ali doesn't have the "wife" title. If they had started dating in 2015 instead of 2001, there’s a good chance they would have tied the knot formally.
Moving Forward and Co-Parenting
Today, both women have moved on, but they've set a pretty high bar for how to handle a breakup in the public eye. They share custody of Levi and Sawyer. They’ve supported each other’s careers.
If you're looking for lessons from their relationship, here are a few things that actually matter:
- Privacy has value. You don't owe the world every detail of your relationship.
- Amicable is possible. Even after ten years and two kids, you can walk away without burning the house down.
- Definitions change. Whether you call her the first wife or the longtime partner, the impact Ali had on Sara's life was clearly profound.
If you’re following Sara Gilbert’s journey now, you’ll notice she’s much more open than she used to be. But that openness started with the foundation she built during those quiet, private years with Ali.
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Next Steps for You
If you're interested in more celebrity relationship histories, you might want to look into how other stars from that era managed their public and private lives. Looking into the career of Ali Adler is also worth your time—she’s a trailblazer for women in TV production. You can check out her credits on IMDb to see just how much of your favorite TV she’s actually responsible for.