If you spend enough time digging into the private world of John F. Kennedy Jr., you eventually hit a name that doesn't fit the usual tabloid narrative. It isn't a supermodel or a political dynasty heir. It’s Santina Goodman.
Most people obsessed with the Kennedy legacy focus on the high-profile romances—the Daryl Hannahs and the Sarah Jessica Parkers. But Santina was different. She was a constant. She was the one who saw John when the cameras weren't flashing, from their scruffy college days at Brown University to the polished, often stressful years of George magazine.
Honestly, their friendship is one of the most grounded parts of John’s life. It wasn't about status.
Who Was Santina Goodman to John?
They met at Brown University in the early 1980s. Santina was part of the theater crowd, a world where John felt he could actually be himself without the "Prince of Camelot" weight on his shoulders. She wasn't just a classmate; she was a director.
In 1983, Santina directed John in a production of David Rabe’s In the Boom Boom Room. There’s a famous story from those rehearsals that perfectly captures their dynamic. John had this thick, wavy hair that was basically a national monument. Santina, focused on the play and the character, told him he needed to cut it.
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He didn't just trim it. He showed up to rehearsal with a "barbarous crewcut."
He was thrilled. He told a friend, "I went into a bar last night and no one knew who I was!" That was the kind of influence Santina had—she pushed him to prioritize the work (and his own anonymity) over his image.
The Booty Call Incident and Carolyn Bessette
Things got kinda complicated when Carolyn Bessette entered the picture. Santina remained one of John’s closest confidantes, which meant she had a front-row seat to the early days of his relationship with Carolyn.
There’s a legendary, slightly awkward story about the first time Santina met Carolyn.
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Santina was hanging out at John’s apartment late one night—around 2:00 a.m.—when the doorbell rang. When John said it was "Carolyn," Santina (thinking he meant his sister, Caroline) wondered why she was visiting so late. When the "other" Carolyn walked in, Santina reportedly whispered to a friend, "This must be a booty call!"
Carolyn Bessette didn't find it funny.
The next time they met, Carolyn confronted her about the joke. It was a rocky start, but surprisingly, the two women ended up becoming very close. Carolyn eventually saw Santina not as a "threat" or a mere "friend of John’s," but as a sister-figure who understood the madness of the Kennedy world.
A Friendship That Survived the Fame
- Career Support: John and Carolyn actively helped Santina find work. When John died in 1999, Santina was working as a coordinating producer at the Apollo Theater.
- Mental Health: Santina struggled with depression, and Carolyn was one of the few people who showed up. She once brought a bottle of vodka and a colorful scarf to Santina’s apartment just to brighten the mood.
- The Cat: After the tragic plane crash in 1999, Santina was the one who took in Carolyn’s cat, Ruby. She renamed the cat "Mur Mur" and cared for it until the cat passed away in the mid-2010s.
Why Their Bond Still Matters
You don't find many stories like this in the Kennedy archives. It’s usually all about the tragedy or the glamour. Santina Goodman represents the "regular guy" side of JFK Jr. She was the one he could throw a 30th birthday party with. She was the one who knew his flaws and liked him anyway.
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According to various accounts, including JFK Jr.: An Intimate Oral Biography, their bond was unbreakable because it was rooted in the time before John was "The Sexiest Man Alive." They were just two theater kids in Providence trying to figure out their lives.
Santina passed away in 2023, and with her went many of the private, unvarnished memories of the man the world thought they knew.
If you're looking to understand the real John—the one who wanted to be an actor, who loved rock and roll, and who just wanted to walk into a bar unnoticed—you have to look at his friendship with Santina. It was arguably the most "normal" thing about his very abnormal life.
Next Steps for Kennedy Historians:
To get the full picture of this circle, you should look for out-of-print copies of the Brown Alumni Magazine from the early 2000s. Many of Santina’s peers shared specific anecdotes there that haven't made it into the mainstream biographies yet. You can also research the history of the Apollo Theater special events during the late 90s to see the professional impact of their collaboration.