If you’ve spent any time on the messy side of reality TV, you probably remember the absolute chaos surrounding Salley Carson’s entrance—and very swift exit—on Clayton Echard’s season of The Bachelor. It was a whirlwind. One minute she’s being introduced as a contestant, and the next, she’s in a hotel room sobbing because she was supposed to be getting married that exact weekend.
But who was the guy? Honestly, for a long time, the identity of the Salley Carson ex fiancé was treated like a state secret by the show’s producers, even while they used her heartbreak as a primary plot point.
The Identity of the Man Behind the Canceled Wedding
The man in question is Avery Buchholz. Unlike many of the people who end up adjacent to the Bachelor spotlight, Buchholz wasn't looking for a blue checkmark on Instagram. He’s a neurosurgeon and an assistant professor, a detail that explains why Salley was so protective of his name during her time on Bachelor in Paradise.
She didn't want to mess with his professional reputation. That's a rare move in a world where everyone usually sells out their ex for an extra five minutes of screen time.
The timeline of their breakup is where things get truly wild. Most people think she ditched her wedding to be on TV. That's a lie. Salley has since clarified that she called off the wedding just 25 days before the big day. Why? Because she received a DM informing her that he had been cheating on her.
📖 Related: Isaiah Washington Movies and Shows: Why the Star Still Matters
Imagine that. You have the big house, the plans for kids, and the Crate & Barrel registry—which internet sleuths actually found, confirming a September 26, 2021, wedding date—and then it all vanishes because of a social media message.
Why the Bachelor Timeline Felt So "Off"
The show made it look like she was indecisive. In reality, she was a wreck.
- She canceled the wedding.
- Producers reached out to her almost immediately.
- She was on a plane to LA within two weeks.
It was too fast. She admitted on the Almost Famous podcast that she was in a "panic" during the isolation period before filming started. It was her actual wedding weekend while she was sitting in a hotel room waiting to meet Clayton. No wonder she left before the limos even arrived.
The Bachelor in Paradise Luggage Saga
Then came the 2022 stint on Bachelor in Paradise. This is where the Salley Carson ex fiancé drama reached a fever pitch, involving a literal suitcase. Wells Adams told a story about a producer going to her house, hearing her ex in the background, and Salley refusing to leave.
👉 See also: Temuera Morrison as Boba Fett: Why Fans Are Still Divided Over the Daimyo of Tatooine
Reality Steve later debunked most of that. It turns out the "guy" at the door was her male roommate. The delay wasn't some romantic standoff; it was about her job. Salley works in spinal surgery—she controls the machines used during the procedures. She couldn't leave because her backup wasn't trained properly.
When she finally got to Mexico, the other women on the beach grilled her about her ex. She had requested that his name not be mentioned to protect his career, but the cast used that silence as proof she was still "obsessed" with him.
Moving on to Southern Charm
Fast forward to 2025, and Salley is a regular on Southern Charm. She’s finally vocal about how "toxic" that past relationship was. She described herself as being in a completely different place now.
She recently dated Andrew Dietz, a fitness trainer in Charleston. It was a total 180 from her usual type. She used to go for "aggressive" business types—likely a nod to the personality of her ex-fiancé—but Andrew was soft-spoken and communicative. Even though that relationship also ended, Salley seems relieved. She’s no longer trying to be the "no drinking, constant workout" girl for a man who doesn't appreciate her.
✨ Don't miss: Why Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Actors Still Define the Modern Spy Thriller
Realities of the Reality TV Machine
The biggest takeaway from the Salley Carson saga isn't just the gossip. It’s how the "previously engaged" label was weaponized against her. The show didn't care about the cheating or the trauma of a canceled wedding; they cared about the "will she/won't she" drama.
Avery Buchholz has remained silent throughout the years, likely focused on his neurosurgery career. Salley, meanwhile, has moved from being the "sad girl" of The Bachelor to "Single Salley" in Charleston.
What you can do next:
If you're following Salley's journey on Southern Charm Season 10, pay attention to how she discusses her boundaries. Her past with her ex-fiancé clearly shaped her "take no BS" attitude with the Charleston crew. You can check her recent Instagram updates for more on her current "Single Salley" era, as she's confirmed she'll be leaning into her independence for Season 11.