Hollywood marriages are usually a mess. You see them on the covers of tabloids with headlines about "shocking splits" or "secret feuds" every other Tuesday. But then there’s Ron Livingston and Rosemarie DeWitt. Honestly, they’re kinda the exception to the rule. While everyone else is busy making headlines for all the wrong reasons, these two have quietly built one of the most solid partnerships in the industry.
They’ve been together for nearly two decades. That's a lifetime in Los Angeles.
You probably know Ron from Office Space—the definitive "I hate my job" movie—or perhaps as the guy who broke up with Carrie Bradshaw on a Post-it note in Sex and the City. Rosemarie, on the other hand, is the powerhouse you’ve seen in Rachel Getting Married, Mad Men, and more recently, The Boys. Together, they aren't just a "power couple" in the corporate sense; they’re two working actors who managed to figure out how to raise a family and keep their sanity while under the microscope.
How It All Started (No Post-its Involved)
Their origin story isn't some fancy gala or a blind date set up by an agent. It was much more "blue collar" than that. They met on the set of the Fox series Standoff back in 2006.
The show was about hostage negotiators who were also in a relationship. Talk about art imitating life. They played Emily Lehman and Matt Flannery, and the chemistry was pretty much immediate. It’s funny because Rosemarie once mentioned in an interview that meeting on set meant they didn't have that "fraud actor factor" going on. They saw each other at 5:00 AM before hair and makeup. They saw each other after 14-hour days when everyone was exhausted and cranky.
They dated for about three years before tying the knot in San Francisco on November 2, 2009.
Interestingly, Rosemarie was previously married to actor Chris Messina, but that ended in 2006, right around the time Standoff was heating up. Since 2009, she and Ron have been a unit. No scandals. No weird Instagram drama. Just two people doing the work.
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The Weird Reality of Being Married to "Berger"
One of the funniest—and probably most annoying—parts of their marriage has to be Ron’s legacy as Jack Berger.
If you’ve watched Sex and the City, you know the "Post-it note" breakup is basically etched into the cultural zeitgeist as the ultimate jerk move. Even though it happened over twenty years ago, fans still haven't let it go.
Rosemarie actually shared a story recently on The Drew Barrymore Show about how, back when they first started dating, they’d be walking through the West Village in New York and see those Sex and the City tour buses. Ron would literally yell, "Go left! Go left!" and they’d have to duck into a bakery to hide. Why? Because women would actually scream at him in the street. "You broke up with her on a Post-it!"
It’s a testament to how good an actor he is, I guess, but Rosemarie had to deal with the fallout of her husband being the most hated man on television for a while. She seems to take it in stride, though. She’s even joked about how people expect him to be this cynical guy, when in reality, he’s a Yale grad who is apparently a total sweetheart.
Growing a Family Through Adoption
The couple has two daughters, Gracie James and Esperanza Mae (who they call "ZaZa").
They chose to grow their family through adoption, which is something they’ve been fairly open about but also protective of. Gracie was adopted in 2013, and Esperanza followed in 2015.
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Rosemarie has talked about the juggle of being a working parent in Hollywood. It’s hard. Most things shoot outside of LA these days—Atlanta, Vancouver, London. She once told Looper that "the best way to get one of us to go work is to cast the other one too."
They try to make it a family affair whenever possible. If one gets a gig, they look to see if there's a spot for the other. It’s not just about spending time together; it’s about keeping the family unit intact.
Times They’ve Worked Together (Besides Standoff)
- Digging for Fire (2015): A Joe Swanberg indie flick where they played a married couple, though they actually only had one scene together.
- The Estate (2022): This one was a bit more intense. Rosemarie played Beatrice, a pretty mean-spirited character, and Ron played her "hapless" husband, James.
- Touchy Feely (2013): Another indie gem where they shared the screen.
In The Estate, Rosemarie was actually worried about being too mean to Ron on camera. She told him afterward, "Don’t ever do that again... it’s so emasculating!" But Ron apparently has zero ego when it comes to supporting her. He’s her biggest fan.
Why Their Dynamic Still Matters in 2026
We live in an era of "curated" celebrity relationships. You see the TikToks, the "get ready with me" videos, and the staged paparazzi shots. Ron and Rosemarie don't do any of that.
They’re "actors' actors."
Ron has this incredibly diverse resume—from the high-intensity Band of Brothers to the cult classic Office Space, and more recently, his role as Henry Allen in The Flash. He’s a guy who can play the everyman or the villain with equal ease.
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Rosemarie is just as versatile. Whether she’s playing the "perfect" sister in Rachel Getting Married or the complicated Daphne Campbell in The Boys, she brings a level of groundedness that is rare.
What people get wrong about them is thinking they’re just another Hollywood couple. They’re actually more like a normal suburban couple who just happens to have really cool jobs. They deal with the same stuff everyone else does: gluten-free pancake cravings (Rosemarie has been gluten-free for years), raising kids, and trying to stay connected while working long hours.
Real Insights for the Fans
If you're looking for the secret sauce to their longevity, it seems to be a mix of mutual respect and a complete lack of professional jealousy.
- They prioritize the "unit": They frequently travel together for work rather than living separate lives on different coasts.
- They lean into the humor: Whether it's dodging SATC fans or playing dysfunctional couples on screen, they don't take the "celebrity" part too seriously.
- They keep it private: You won't find them oversharing. They let the work speak for itself, which is probably why they've avoided the "curse" of the Hollywood breakup.
If you want to see them at their best, go back and watch Standoff. It’s where it all began, and you can see the sparks flying in real-time. Or, check out The Estate for a more modern (and much more cynical) look at their on-screen chemistry.
The takeaway here is pretty simple: Ron Livingston and Rosemarie DeWitt have managed to do the impossible. They’ve stayed married, stayed working, and stayed normal. In a town built on smoke and mirrors, they’re the real deal.
Actionable Next Steps:
- Watch their collaborations: Start with Standoff (if you can find it on streaming) to see their early chemistry, then move to The Estate to see how they play off each other as a veteran married couple.
- Follow their recent work: Look for Rosemarie in The Boys and Smile 2, and catch Ron in Loudermilk—arguably one of his best and most underrated performances to date.
- Support Adoption Charities: Since the couple is vocal about their journey, consider looking into organizations like The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption if you want to support the cause they’ve championed in their own lives.