Robert De Niro is the kind of guy who doesn't say much. You see him on a red carpet, and he’s usually giving that famous "it is what it is" shrug or a squinty-eyed nod. But behind that legendary "tough guy" exterior is a personal life that's been, honestly, pretty chaotic and fascinating. When people search for robert de niro wives, they usually expect a short list. Maybe two names.
But it’s a lot more complicated than a couple of wedding dates.
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De Niro has been through two marriages, a nearly decade-long relationship with a famous model, and a current partnership that made headlines because he became a dad again at 79. He’s got seven kids now. The age gap between his oldest and youngest? Over 50 years.
The First Marriage: Diahnne Abbott (1976–1988)
In the mid-70s, De Niro was becoming the biggest actor on the planet. Taxi Driver was huge. And right in the middle of it, he married Diahnne Abbott.
They met on the set of Taxi Driver—she was the girl at the concession stand in the porn theater. Kinda poetic for a Hollywood romance, right? They tied the knot in 1976. During their twelve years together, they had a son, Raphael, who was actually named after the hotel in Rome where he was conceived. De Niro also adopted Diahnne’s daughter, Drena, from a previous relationship.
If you watch New York, New York or The King of Comedy, you’ll see her. She was a talented singer and actress in her own right. But as his fame skyrocketed, the marriage started to buckle. By 1988, it was over.
The Toukie Smith Years: Not a Wife, But Close
Most people forget about Toukie Smith. They weren't technically married, but they were together for about eight years starting in the late 80s. She was a high-profile model and the sister of the late designer Willi Smith.
This relationship was actually a big deal in the tabloids back then. They had twin boys, Julian and Aaron, via a surrogate in 1995. Even though they never walked down the aisle, she’s a massive part of his family history.
The Grace Hightower Saga (1997–2018)
Then came Grace Hightower. This is the one everyone remembers because it was a total roller coaster. They met in London in 1987 while she was working at the high-end restaurant Mr. Chow. They didn't get married until ten years later, in 1997.
Things went south fast. Like, really fast.
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- 1998: Their son Elliot is born.
- 1999: De Niro files for divorce.
- 2001: They get into a nasty custody battle.
- 2004: They randomly make up and renew their vows.
For a while, it seemed like they figured it out. They had a daughter, Helen Grace, via surrogate in 2011. But in 2018, they split for good.
The divorce was brutal. The legal filings revealed a lot about their lifestyle—claims of Grace spending $375,000 a month and De Niro complaining he had to take "dreadful" movie roles just to pay the bills. A judge eventually ruled that Grace wasn't entitled to half his $500 million fortune because of a prenuptial agreement, but she still walked away with a $6 million home and $1 million a year in alimony.
Tiffany Chen and the New Chapter
So, where are we now? Since 2021, De Niro has been with Tiffany Chen. She’s a martial arts instructor—she actually taught him Tai Chi for the movie The Intern.
They kept things super quiet until 2023, when De Niro casually mentioned in an interview that he had "just had a baby." That was Gia Virginia Chen-De Niro.
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People were shocked. The man was nearly 80. But if you watch them together, it’s clear she’s brought a certain calm to his life. She’s way younger than him (about 34 years), but he’s gone on record saying she does the "heavy lifting" with the baby while he tries to be a supportive partner.
What Most People Miss About His Relationships
There’s a pattern here. De Niro clearly prefers long-term commitment over "Hollywood flings." Even his divorces took years to finalize because he seems to stay deeply involved with his family.
He once said in an interview that the most important thing is to "not have kids with someone if you're going to end up divorced." Ironically, he didn't follow his own advice, but he has managed to keep a massive, blended family relatively tight-knit. His kids and grandkids actually hang out together.
Practical Takeaways from the De Niro Timeline
If you're looking at the history of robert de niro wives to understand the man himself, here’s the reality:
- Work-Life Blur: He met almost every significant woman in his life through work or high-end industry hangouts.
- Ironclad Pre-nups: His second divorce is a case study in why celebrities use prenuptial agreements. It saved him hundreds of millions.
- Privacy as a Shield: Despite the messy 2018 divorce, he’s remarkably good at keeping his current partner, Tiffany Chen, out of the "gossip" cycle.
To keep up with how the De Niro family continues to evolve—especially with his youngest daughter Gia growing up in the spotlight—you should follow the official Tribeca Film Festival news feeds. De Niro is often most candid about his personal life when he's promoting his festival or his latest film projects.