Robert De Niro doesn't talk much. He’s the king of the one-word answer, the shrug, and that famous "You talkin' to me?" squint that has intimidated reporters for fifty years. But when the conversation shifts to his father, the late Robert De Niro Sr., the tough-guy facade doesn't just crack—it vanishes. It’s a side of the actor that feels almost jarringly human.
The story of Robert De Niro and father is not some standard Hollywood "dad was a star" narrative. It’s actually the opposite. While the son was becoming a global icon in films like The Godfather Part II, the father was a struggling figurative painter in a world that had suddenly decided it only cared about Pop Art.
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The Secret Life of De Niro Sr.
Honestly, the most shocking thing most people don't know is that De Niro’s father was gay. He came out in the 1940s, a time when that was basically a social death sentence. He and De Niro’s mother, Virginia Admiral, split up when "Bobby" was only three years old. But here’s the kicker: they stayed close. They weren't the "playing catch in the backyard" kind of family. Far from it.
De Niro Sr. was part of the prestigious New York School of artists, rubbing shoulders with Jackson Pollock and Mark Rothko. He was talented. Like, really talented. Peggy Guggenheim even gave him a solo show when he was only 24. But as the 60s rolled in and Andy Warhol started painting soup cans, the elder De Niro’s lush, colorful style fell out of fashion. He ended up in a drafty studio in Paris, broke and depressed, feeling like his best years were behind him.
His son, however, was just getting started.
A Switch in Roles
By the mid-70s, the power dynamic shifted in a way that’s kinda heartbreaking if you think about it. The son was the one with the money. Robert De Niro Jr. actually flew to Paris to rescue his father from a "rut," eventually bringing him back to New York and supporting him financially. Imagine being one of the greatest actors on the planet and watching your father—the man you idolize—struggle to pay for turpentine.
De Niro has admitted he didn't really know the full extent of his father's inner turmoil until much later. It was only after his father died of cancer in 1993—on his 71st birthday—that the actor found the journals.
These weren't just "to-do" lists. They were raw, agonizing accounts of a man struggling with his sexuality, his art, and his "demons." In one entry, the elder De Niro wrote about praying until he was "cured" of his homosexuality, while simultaneously admitting he didn't want to be cured. He felt "afflicted" by his art and his desires.
Reading that must have been a gut punch.
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Why Robert De Niro and Father is a Story of Legacy
In 2014, De Niro released a documentary called Remembering the Artist: Robert De Niro, Sr. He didn't do it for the money. He did it so his kids and grandkids would know who the man was. He even kept his father's studio in SoHo exactly as it was the day he died. Brushes in jars. Paint on the floor. It’s a shrine, basically.
The Full Circle: Becoming a Dad at 80
It's impossible to talk about Robert De Niro and father without mentioning the fact that De Niro himself is still in the "new dad" phase at 81. In April 2023, he and his girlfriend Tiffany Chen welcomed a daughter named Gia Virginia Chen-De Niro.
The internet went wild, obviously. People called it "selfish" or "irresponsible." But when you see De Niro talk about Gia, he actually tears up. He told AARP The Magazine that everything he worries about just "goes away" when he looks at her.
He’s got seven kids now:
- Drena (adopted during his first marriage)
- Raphael
- Twins Julian and Aaron
- Elliot
- Helen Grace
- Baby Gia
The age gap between his oldest and youngest is over 50 years. That’s wild. But he’s the first to admit he doesn't do the "heavy lifting" anymore. He’s not the one changing every diaper at 2:00 AM. He’s more of a "watch Ms. Rachel and give her a bottle" kind of dad these days.
The Unspoken Bond
What’s fascinating is how the actor’s relationship with his own father shaped how he views his kids. He’s obsessed with the idea that you have to do things now because "later" might be 20 years away, and by then, it’s too late. He regrets not talking to his father more about his sexuality and his struggles. He’s trying not to make that same mistake with his own brood.
There’s a certain poetic symmetry to it all. He spent the first half of his life trying to save his father’s legacy, and he’s spending the last part of his life starting over with a new one.
What you should take away from this:
- Preserve the history: If you have parents with stories or art, record them now. Don't wait for the "right time."
- It’s never too late for a second act: Whether it's art or fatherhood, De Niro proves life doesn't stop at 70 or 80.
- Complexity is okay: You can love someone deeply without fully understanding every part of them while they're alive.
If you’re interested in seeing the art that started it all, you can actually visit the DC Moore Gallery in New York, which represents the Estate of Robert De Niro, Sr. Seeing the physical work puts the actor's devotion into a whole new perspective. It’s not just a son being loyal; it’s a fan making sure the world doesn't forget a master.