Rik Mayall didn’t do half-measures. If you asked him for an autograph, you might get called a "money-grabbing Welsh git." If you invited him to your wedding and he couldn't make it, you might receive a letter wishing you a "crap day."
That was the magic of the man.
Most people remember Rik for the slapstick violence of Bottom or the frantic energy of The Young Ones. But in the years since his passing in 2014, a different side of him has surfaced. It’s a side found in handwritten notes, scrawled on scrap paper or official stationery, sent to fans and friends alike. Among these, the Rik Mayall wedding letter stands out as a masterclass in how to be offensive and incredibly kind at the exact same time.
The Letter That Topped Every Best Man Speech
In 2020, a story emerged from a fan named Matthew Webster that perfectly encapsulated the Mayall ethos. Matthew was the best man for his friend’s wedding. Wanting to do something special, he reached out to several of his friend's heroes, hoping for a message to read during the speeches.
He wrote to Stirling Moss. He wrote to Billie-Jo Spears. And he wrote to Rik.
Honestly, most celebrities wouldn’t even see a letter like that. It would get filtered by an agent or tossed in a pile. But Rik Mayall actually sat down and wrote back. When Matthew opened the envelope, he found a handwritten note that didn't just congratulate the couple—it tore them to shreds in the most loving way possible.
The letter began with Rik’s signature brand of theatrical aggression. He told the couple he hoped they had a "CRAP DAY." He went on to express his sincere hope that the groom, David, wouldn't be able to "get a stiffy" on his wedding night.
He signed it: "With utter love, hate and violence, your friend, Rik Mayall xxxxxxxxxx (fuck off)."
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Matthew admitted he cried when he read it. Not because he was offended—he was a fan, he knew the "Rik" persona—but because one of his idols had taken the time to be so authentically himself for a stranger's wedding. It was the ultimate gift.
Why the "Mean" Letters Mattered So Much
There is a weird psychology to being a Rik Mayall fan. If he was nice to you, it felt like you were meeting the actor. If he called you a "complete bastard," it felt like you were meeting the legend.
Take the letter sent to a man named Alan in 2012. Rik had apparently found a wedding invitation on his desk that he’d forgotten about for months. Most people would send a polite, slightly embarrassed apology. Not Rik. He scrawled across the top of the original letter:
"OH SHIT! Alan, I just found this letter on my desk and realized I forgot the bloody wedding. Hope you had a great day, and please give Julie a TITANIC shag from me."
It’s vulgar. It’s chaotic. It’s also deeply personal.
You see, Rik understood something about fame that many modern influencers miss. He knew that fans didn't want a sanitized, PR-approved version of him. They wanted the "The People’s Poet." They wanted the guy who crashed through floorboards. By "insulting" his fans in these letters, he was actually inviting them into the joke. He was treating them like peers.
The Anatomy of a Rik Mayall Message
If you look at the various wedding letters and fan notes that have circulated on sites like the Rik Mayall Scrapbook, you start to see a pattern.
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- The Shock Opening: He usually starts by being incredibly rude.
- The Handwriting: It’s often messy, frantic, and looks like it was written at 100mph.
- The Genuine Warmth: Hidden behind the "hate and violence" was always a sense that he was happy to be asked.
- The Sign-off: Usually involves an excessive number of X’s followed by a "fuck off."
Kinda beautiful, isn't it?
Beyond the Jokes: A Legacy of Effort
People often ask if these letters were fakes. They weren't. Rik was notorious for his "pen-pal" relationship with his audience. Whether it was the letter he wrote to Bob Geldof complaining about being kicked out of the Band Aid recording session (which Benedict Cumberbatch famously read for Letters Live) or these private wedding notes, Mayall put work into being Rik.
He didn't just sign a headshot. He wrote a narrative.
In a world where we now get "personalized" videos from celebrities via Cameo for $150, there’s something remarkably pure about a man sitting down with a pen because a fan asked him to. He didn't charge for it. He just did it because he was, beneath the shouting, a remarkably generous person.
How to Find These Letters Today
If you’re looking to see the original scans, the best place is the Rik Mayall Scrapbook, a community-driven archive that tracks his career and personal interactions. You’ll find the Matthew Webster letter there, along with various other notes scrawled on hotel stationery or the backs of scripts.
You should also check out the Letters Live performances. While the wedding letters are often private treasures kept by the families, his more "public" letters—like the Band Aid one—have been performed by top-tier actors, bringing his frantic prose to life for a new generation.
Basically, if you’re a fan, these letters are the closest thing we have to new "content." They capture his voice so perfectly that you can almost hear him shouting the words as you read them.
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What We Can Learn From Rik’s "Hate Mail"
It sounds weird to say there’s a lesson in a man telling a groom he hope he fails in the bedroom. But there is.
Rik’s letters remind us that authenticity is better than perfection. He could have sent a Hallmark card. He didn't. He sent something that the couple would frame and talk about for forty years.
If you're ever tasked with writing a wedding speech or a message for a friend, maybe take a leaf out of Rik's book. Don't be boring. Don't use the same tired quotes everyone else uses. Be a bit dangerous. Be a bit weird.
Just maybe check if they’re a fan of Bottom before you tell them to have a "crap day."
The Rik Mayall wedding letter isn't just a piece of trivia. It’s a testament to a man who loved his fans enough to call them names. It’s proof that sometimes, the best way to show love is through a bit of "utter hate and violence."
Next Steps for Fans:
If you want to dive deeper into Rik's written legacy, hunt down a copy of his "autobiography," Bigger than Hitler - Better than Christ. It’s written in the same unhinged, hilarious style as his letters and gives you a better sense of the man behind the madness. Also, if you ever come across a handwritten note in a charity shop or old book, check the signature—Rik was more prolific with his pen than many realize.