Ever felt like you're just pretending to be an adult? Like everyone else got a secret manual for life and you’re just winging it, hoping no one notices you’re actually three kids in a trench coat? That’s basically the core of porque esta es mi primera vida (Because This Is My First Life). It’s not just another sugary Korean drama about a rich guy and a poor girl. It’s a quiet, sometimes painful, and deeply honest look at what happens when your dreams hit the brick wall of a 30-year mortgage and societal expectations.
I’ve watched a lot of TV. Most of it is forgettable. But this 2017 series, directed by Park Joon-hwa and written by Yoon Nan-joong, sticks because it doesn't lie to you. It acknowledges that life is messy. You might end up living with a stranger because the housing market is a nightmare. You might marry someone just to save on rent. It sounds cynical, but the show handles it with a warmth that feels like a hug from someone who actually understands your bank account balance.
The housing crisis as a plot device
The story kicks off with Yoon Ji-ho, a struggling screenwriter who finds herself homeless. Through a series of misunderstandings, she ends up as a tenant for Nam Se-hee, a computer designer who is "house poor." He’s literally obsessed with his cat and his recycling schedule. He needs someone to help pay off his apartment; she needs a roof. It’s a transactional relationship that mirrors the actual struggle of millennials in Seoul—and honestly, in London, New York, or Mexico City too.
What makes porque esta es mi primera vida so relatable is that Se-hee isn't a jerk. He’s just pragmatic. He has calculated his life down to the last won. He knows exactly when he will die and how much his funeral will cost. In a world that feels chaotic, his rigidity is a survival mechanism. Ji-ho, on the other hand, is the emotional heart. She’s the one who realized that following your "passion" often leads to working for free and sleeping on a cold floor.
Marriage is a contract, not a fairytale
The show tackles the "Contract Marriage" trope, but it strips away the glamor. There’s a scene where they get married in a simple, almost clinical way because they just want to get it over with. No big white wedding. No sweeping violins. Just two people trying to navigate the suffocating pressure of their parents.
Korean society, much like many traditional cultures, puts an immense weight on marriage. It’s not just about two people; it’s about two families. By turning marriage into a business deal, Ji-ho and Se-hee actually find more freedom than the "romantic" couples around them. It’s a weirdly liberating thought. If you stop trying to live up to the "happily ever after" myth, you might actually find someone you can talk to.
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The three types of modern relationships
We don't just follow the main pair. The show gives us a triptych of what it means to love in your 30s.
First, there’s Woo Su-ji and Ma Sang-goo. Su-ji is a high-flying corporate badass who deals with rampant sexism at work. She keeps her heart locked behind a very expensive leather jacket. Sang-goo is the CEO who falls for her but has to learn that respect is more important than grand gestures. Their dynamic explores the price women pay for success and how hard it is to let someone see your vulnerable side when you’re used to being a warrior every day.
Then you have Yang Ho-rang and Sim Won-seok. They’ve been together for seven years. Ho-rang wants the "dream"—the husband, the kids, the red sofa. Won-seok is a tech guy who just wants her to be happy but doesn't understand that for her, "happy" means stability. Their arc is the most heartbreaking. It shows that sometimes, love isn't enough if your timelines don't align. You can love someone with your whole soul and still realize you’re holding them back from the life they want.
Honestly, Ho-rang’s desperation for a "normal" life is one of the most polarizing parts of porque esta es mi primera vida. Some viewers find her annoying. I find her terrifyingly real. Not everyone wants to reinvent the world; some people just want a home where they feel safe.
Why the writing feels different
Writer Yoon Nan-joong uses a lot of literary references. They talk about The Roommate and poems by Jung Hyun-jong. There’s this specific line about how "coming to someone is actually an enormous thing... because a person’s whole life comes with them."
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It’s deep.
It’s also why this drama stays with you. It treats the audience like adults who read books and have existential crises at 2 AM. The pacing is slow. If you’re looking for high-octane action or slapstick comedy, this isn’t it. It’s a slow-burn meditation on the fact that we are all living this life for the very first time. There are no rehearsals. You’re going to mess up. You’re going to say the wrong thing. You’re going to realize your career isn't what you thought it would be. And that’s okay.
The "First Life" Philosophy
The title itself is the biggest takeaway. Because this is our first life, we are allowed to be clumsy. We are allowed to fail. Se-hee’s cat is a recurring symbol of this. The cat doesn't care about the mortgage or the failed screenplay. The cat just exists. There's a lesson there about mindfulness that the show sprinkles in without being preachy.
Misconceptions about the show
A lot of people skip this because they think it’s a "dry" office drama. Or they think the male lead is too "robotic." Here’s the thing: Lee Min-ki’s performance as Se-hee is a masterclass in subtlety. By the end, you realize he’s not a robot; he’s just someone who has been deeply hurt and decided that being logical was safer than being emotional. Watching his walls crumble—not all at once, but brick by brick—is incredibly satisfying.
Also, people often mistake this for a remake of the Japanese drama We Married as a Job (Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu). While the premise of a contract marriage for domestic help is similar, the cultural nuances regarding Korean family structures and the specific pressures on Korean women make it a completely different beast. It’s more of a spiritual cousin than a copy.
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Real-world impact and E-E-A-T
When we look at the data, the show maintained a solid viewership (peaking around 5% on tvN, which is great for cable). But its "long tail" is what matters. It’s consistently ranked in the top "must-watch" lists on platforms like Netflix and Viki years after its release. Why? Because the "N-po generation" (a Korean term for the generation that gives up on things like marriage and home ownership) is a global phenomenon.
Psychologists often point to media like this as a form of "validation therapy" for young adults. Seeing your struggle reflected on screen—without the magical "rich CEO saves the day" ending—helps reduce the shame associated with not having your life together by 30.
Navigating your own "First Life"
If you're watching porque esta es mi primera vida and feeling seen, there are a few things you can actually take away from the screen and into your reality.
- Audit your "Shoulds": Ji-ho spent years doing what she "should" do until she hit a breaking point. Take a look at your goals. Are they yours, or are they your parents' goals that you've adopted?
- The Power of Small Comforts: Se-hee finds peace in the way he sorts his trash and the way his cat looks at him. When the big things (career, economy) are out of control, find the one small routine you can master.
- Communication isn't about talking: It’s about being precise. Se-hee and Ji-ho’s relationship works because they eventually learn to say exactly what they mean, without the fluff. Stop expecting people to read your mind.
- Acknowledge the First Time: Give yourself the grace you’d give a child learning to walk. You haven’t been 30 before. You haven’t navigated this specific economy before. Being "bad" at it initially is the default setting, not a personal failure.
What to do next
If you haven’t seen it, watch it on Netflix or Viki. Don't binge it. Watch one or two episodes at a time and let the dialogue sink in. If you have seen it, go back and watch the scenes with Su-ji and her mother; they hit differently once you understand the layers of sacrifice involved.
Check out the soundtrack too. "Marriage" by MoonMoon and "This Life" by Moon Sung-nam perfectly capture that melancholic but hopeful vibe that defines the whole experience. Life is hard, but it's also the only one we get, so we might as well be kind to ourselves while we figure it out.
Stop comparing your "behind-the-scenes" with everyone else's highlight reel. Everyone is a first-timer here.
To dive deeper into the themes of modern Korean society reflected in media, you might want to look into the concept of "Hell Joseon" or the "Sampo Generation." These sociological terms provide the backdrop for why characters like Ji-ho and Se-hee make the choices they do. Understanding the environment they live in makes their small victories feel much more significant. You can find excellent breakdowns of these cultural shifts on sites like Korea Exposé or in academic journals focusing on East Asian studies.