If you walked into a Best Buy in 1994, you might have seen a bright yellow box with a guy looking stressed out on the cover. That guy was John, and the game was Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. It wasn’t a platformer like Mario. It wasn't a shooter like Doom. Honestly, it was barely a game at all. It was a surreal, low-budget "interactive movie" for the Panasonic 3DO that eventually became the poster child for everything weird about the 90s multimedia craze.
Most people call it the worst game of all time. They’re probably right. But calling it "the worst" misses the point of why it’s so fascinating. This wasn't just a bad game; it was a bizarre piece of outsider art produced by United Pixtel. It used static photos—not even real video most of the time—to tell a story about a plumber named John and a woman named Jane. Their parents want them to get married. A creepy boss named Thresher wants Jane for himself. You, the player, make "choices" that are basically just clicking on a still image to see another still image.
It's absurd.
The 3DO Era and the Obsession with "Interactive Movies"
To understand why Plumbers Don't Wear Ties even exists, you have to look at the early 90s. The industry was obsessed with the CD-ROM. Suddenly, developers had 650MB of space to play with, which felt infinite compared to the tiny cartridges of the NES and SNES. The "Full Motion Video" (FMV) trend exploded. Everyone thought the future of gaming was Hollywood-style movies where the player occasionally pressed a button to change the scene.
The 3DO Interactive Multiplayer, the console this game launched on, was marketed as a high-end luxury item. It cost $700. It was supposed to be the future of home entertainment. Instead, it became the home for oddities. While games like Night Trap or Dragon's Lair used actual video, United Pixtel didn't have that kind of budget. They used a slideshow.
Imagine paying seventy bucks for a slideshow.
🔗 Read more: Straight Sword Elden Ring Meta: Why Simple Is Often Better
There's a specific kind of 90s aesthetic here that feels like a fever dream. The game starts with a narrator—a guy in a tuxedo—talking directly to the player. He's weirdly aggressive. He insults you if you make the wrong choice. It’s meta before meta was a thing. The script feels like it was written in one night by someone who had never seen a romantic comedy but had heard them described by a drunk person. It’s loud, it’s garish, and the humor is... well, it’s dated. Very dated.
Why We Still Talk About John and Jane
The plot is thin. John is a plumber (who, as the title suggests, doesn't wear a tie). Jane is a professional woman. They meet in a parking lot. It’s basically a series of "will they, won't they" moments interrupted by a narrator who sounds like he’s losing his mind.
The reason Plumbers Don't Wear Ties survived in our collective memory isn't because it was fun. It’s because it’s a time capsule. It represents the "Wild West" of digital media. In 1994, nobody knew what a "video game" was supposed to look like on a CD. Was it a movie? Was it an encyclopedia? Was it a collection of JPEGs? This game took the "slideshow" approach and leaned into it with a bizarre, campy energy that makes it impossible to ignore.
- The Humor: It’s "blue" comedy, but not particularly clever. It tries to be "adult" in that way 90s media often did—meaning it’s slightly suggestive but mostly just juvenile.
- The Mechanics: You choose a path. If you fail, you get a "Bad Choice" screen and usually a lecture from the narrator.
- The Cast: Edward J. Foster (John) and Jeanne Basone (Jane) actually have decent chemistry despite the lunacy. Basone, notably, was "Hollywood" in the original GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling). She brought a level of professional performance to a project that probably didn't deserve it.
Jeanne Basone has actually talked about the production in interviews over the years. It wasn't some high-tech studio setup. It was a small crew, a lot of still photography, and a lot of improvisation. When you look at the game through that lens, it stops being a "failure" and starts being a fascinating piece of independent media that somehow made it onto a major console.
The Limited Run Games Revival
You’d think a game this universally mocked would vanish into the bargain bins of history. But the internet loves a disaster. Thanks to YouTubers like the Angry Video Game Nerd, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties became a cult classic. People started unearthing old copies. Prices for the original 3DO disc started creeping up.
💡 You might also like: Steal a Brainrot: How to Get the Secret Brainrot and Why You Keep Missing It
In a move that surprised everyone, Limited Run Games announced a "Definitive Edition" for modern consoles like the PS5 and Nintendo Switch.
Why? Because preservation matters, even for the weird stuff.
The remaster wasn't just a port; it was a documentary project. They tracked down the original cast and crew. They scanned the photos in high definition. They included a "Plumb-Line" feature that lets you track the branching paths. It’s the most effort anyone has ever put into a game that everyone claims to hate. It’s a testament to the fact that in gaming culture, being memorable is sometimes more important than being good.
The remaster allows people to see the game without the clunky loading times of the 3DO. It highlights the sheer weirdness of the production. There are scenes where characters are wearing masks for no reason. There are bizarre sound effects that seem to come from a different game entirely. It is, in every sense, a mess. But it’s a human mess.
Technical Oddities and Design Flaws
Let's get technical for a second. Most FMV games of the era struggled with compression. Video looked grainy and small. United Pixtel avoided this by using high-resolution (for the time) still images. This allowed the colors to pop and the images to stay sharp, even if there was no "motion."
📖 Related: S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2 Unhealthy Competition: Why the Zone's Biggest Threat Isn't a Mutant
But the "gameplay" loop is a disaster.
- Watch a sequence of photos with voiceovers.
- Reach a choice point (usually two or three options).
- Pick an option.
- Either see the next scene or get yelled at by the narrator.
There's no skill. There's no strategy. It’s just trial and error. Some choices lead to "death" or "failure" for reasons that make zero logical sense. But that’s the charm. It’s unpredictable in a way that modern, polished AAA games aren't. It doesn't care about your "user experience." It just wants to show you a picture of a guy in a chicken suit.
The Cultural Legacy of a "Bad" Game
There’s a deep-seated human curiosity for the "so bad it's good." It’s why people watch The Room or Troll 2. Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is the "The Room" of video games. It feels like it was made by people who had seen a video game once, in a dream, and tried to reconstruct it from memory.
It also serves as a warning. It reminds us of a time when the industry was so enamored with new technology that it forgot to actually make things fun. The 3DO died a quiet death, largely because its library was full of "interactive experiences" like this instead of actual games. Yet, without these failures, we wouldn't have the sophisticated cinematic storytelling we see in games today. You don't get to The Last of Us without tripping over Plumbers Don't Wear Ties along the way.
Actionable Insights for Retro Collectors and Fans
If you're looking to experience this piece of history, don't just go out and buy a 3DO. That’s a massive investment for very little payoff.
- Check the Remaster first: The Limited Run Games version is the best way to play. It includes interviews that provide context you won't get from the original.
- Emulate the 3DO version: If you want the authentic, "I can't believe I'm playing this on a console that cost $700" experience, emulation is your friend. The 3DO hardware is notoriously finicky today.
- Watch a Longplay: Honestly? This is one of the few games that is arguably better to watch than to play. You get all the weirdness without the frustration of the menus.
- Look for the Easter Eggs: There are actually several "hidden" endings and weird sequences that most players miss on a first run. The game is surprisingly dense with "Bad Choice" content.
Ultimately, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is a reminder that the history of technology is paved with weird, shiny, yellow-boxed failures. It’s a game that shouldn't exist, yet it’s more famous today than 90% of the "good" games released in 1994. It’s weird. It’s loud. It’s ugly. And it’s a vital part of gaming history. If you want to understand the 90s, you have to understand John the plumber. Just don't expect him to wear a tie.