If you spent any time on the internet in the early 2010s, you probably remember the blurry paparazzi photos of Jennette McCurdy on a beach in Hawaii. She was the breakout star of iCarly, the girl every teenager wanted to be friends with. Beside her was a man most people didn't recognize. His name was Paul Glaser.
At the time, the narrative was simple: Jennette had a boyfriend. Fast forward to 2026, and the lens through which we view that relationship has shifted entirely. It wasn't just a "celebrity romance." It was a foundational piece of the trauma Jennette later unpacked in her record-breaking memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, and her debut novel, Half His Age.
People still get the "whos" and "whys" mixed up. Honestly, the story is much darker than a simple age gap.
The Confusion: Which Paul Glaser?
First things first, let's clear up the Google search confusion. If you search the name, you’ll often see an 80-year-old man who starred in Starsky & Hutch. That is not the Paul Glaser we’re talking about.
The Paul Glaser in Jennette’s life was Paul R. Glaser, a script manager and writer who worked behind the scenes on iCarly. He wasn’t a Hollywood A-lister; he was a guy with a headset and a clipboard who happened to be in the right place at the wrong time for an incredibly vulnerable 18-year-old.
When they started dating in 2010, Jennette was 18. Paul was in his early 30s. A 13-year age gap might not seem like a felony on paper, but in the context of a child star whose mother was dying of cancer, the power imbalance was massive.
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Why Paul Glaser Mattered to Jennette
To understand why she stayed with him for two years, you have to understand what was happening at home. Jennette’s mother, Debra McCurdy, was her entire world—in the most toxic way possible. Debra controlled her calories, her career, and even showered with her well into her teens.
When Debra’s breast cancer returned, Jennette panicked. She has since explained that she needed a "placeholder" for the love she was about to lose.
Paul became that placeholder.
He was the "mature" older man who offered an escape from the Nickelodeon soundstage and her mother’s hospital room. But as Jennette later revealed in her January 2026 appearance on Call Her Daddy, the relationship was anything but a refuge. It was exhausting.
Red Flags and Retrospective Reality
Looking back, the "red flags" were more like giant neon signs. Jennette describes a relationship built on performance. She spent her time pretending to like the things he liked. He’d put on movies like Dazed and Confused, and she’d nod along, hating every second of it but desperate to seem "mature" enough for him.
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He manipulated her through praise. He’d tell her how "smart" and "advanced" she was for her age. It’s a classic grooming tactic—making a teenager feel like an equal to justify a dynamic that is fundamentally unequal.
The Live-In Secret
One of the most jarring details to emerge recently is that Paul was reportedly living with another woman the entire time he was dating Jennette. Imagine being 19 years old, one of the most famous girls on TV, and your boyfriend is sneaking out of a house he shares with another long-term partner.
The Hawaii Incident
During a 2012 trip to Hawaii—a trip Jennette reportedly paid for—the cracks became chasms. She has mentioned in her writing how she ended up paying off his debts. She was the one with the Nickelodeon paycheck, and he was the "grown-up" letting a teenager foot the bill for his life.
The Breaking Point: "She Won't, Boo"
The end of their relationship is perhaps the most famous part of their history, thanks to the visceral prose in Jennette's memoir. As Debra McCurdy lay dying, Jennette reached out to Paul for support. She told him she couldn't be in a relationship because her mom was literally taking her last breaths.
His response? A text that read, "No she won't, boo."
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He didn't believe the mother was dying. Or he didn't care. Either way, it was the final proof that he wasn't the anchor she thought he was. She broke up with him shortly after. She realized she needed to face the grief of her mother’s death without the "addiction" of a toxic boyfriend masking the pain.
What This Teaches Us About Child Stardom
The Paul Glaser and Jennette McCurdy saga isn't just celebrity gossip. It's a case study in how the industry fails young performers.
- Workplace Safety: How does a 30-something script manager end up dating an 18-year-old lead actress on a kids' show without anyone in HR blinking?
- Vulnerability: Predators often target those with unstable home lives. Paul didn't just find a "pretty actress"; he found a girl whose boundaries had been decimated by her own mother.
- Financial Exploitation: The "older man" wasn't providing security; he was often the one being subsidized by the minor's earnings.
Moving Forward: Actionable Insights
If you’re following Jennette McCurdy’s journey or find yourself in a similar high-pressure environment, here are some takeaways that aren't just for celebs:
- Audit Your "Maturity" Praise: If an older partner constantly tells you how "mature" you are compared to people your own age, take a step back. Usually, it’s a way to isolate you from your peers who would call out the behavior.
- The Grief Buffer: Avoid making major relationship commitments while in the middle of a family crisis. As Jennette found, we often grab onto the nearest person to avoid drowning, even if that person is an anchor dragging us down.
- Financial Boundaries: Never pay off a partner’s debts early in a relationship, especially if there is a significant age or power gap.
Jennette McCurdy has spent the last few years reclaiming her narrative. From her podcast Empty Inside to her new literary career, she’s no longer the girl in the Hawaii photos. She’s an author who survived both the spotlight and the shadows behind it.
The best way to support her now is to recognize the complexity of her story. It wasn't just a breakup; it was a break for freedom.
Next Steps for Readers:
- Read the full account: Pick up a copy of I'm Glad My Mom Died to see how Jennette uses the pseudonym "Joe" to describe these events.
- Listen to the context: Check out Jennette’s recent 2026 interviews where she discusses the "Half His Age" theme in her new fiction.