If you look at Instagram for more than five minutes, you’ll see some generic sunset photo with a caption telling you to "follow your passion." It sounds great. It's the kind of advice that looks good on a coffee mug or a LinkedIn banner. But when you actually sit down and try to figure out passion: what does it mean in the context of a messy, complicated life, the dictionary definition starts to feel a little thin.
Most people think passion is a spark. A lightning bolt. You’re walking down the street, and suddenly—boom—you realize you were born to bake sourdough or code blockchain protocols.
That’s mostly nonsense.
In reality, the word "passion" has a much darker, grittier history than we like to admit. It comes from the Latin root pati, which literally means "to suffer." When we talk about the Passion of the Christ, we aren't talking about his hobby; we’re talking about his endurance through pain. So, when you ask what passion really is, you aren't just asking what you love. You’re asking what you’re willing to suffer for. What are you willing to sacrifice for?
It’s a heavy question.
The Science of Why We Crave It
Biologically, what we call passion is basically a cocktail of neurotransmitters. Specifically, it’s a high-stakes dance between dopamine and norepinephrine.
According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who has spent decades studying the brain chemistry of intense human emotions, passion isn’t just a "feeling." It’s a drive. It’s located in the same parts of the brain associated with thirst and hunger. When you’re passionate about a project or a person, your ventral tegmental area (VTA) is firing like crazy. It’s the reward system. You’re literally addicted to the pursuit.
But here’s the kicker.
There are two distinct types of passion, and if you get them mixed up, you’re in trouble. Psychologists like Robert Vallerand have spent years researching the Dualistic Model of Passion.
First, you have harmonious passion. This is the good stuff. It’s when you do something because you love it, it aligns with your values, and it doesn't take over your entire identity. You control the activity.
📖 Related: Defining Chic: Why It Is Not Just About the Clothes You Wear
Then there’s obsessive passion. This is the dark side. It’s when the "thing" starts to control you. You do it because you need the validation or because you feel like you have to. Your self-esteem is tied to the outcome. If you succeed, you’re a god; if you fail, you’re trash.
Most people seeking "passion" are actually looking for the harmonious kind, but they accidentally stumble into the obsessive kind because they’re chasing the "spark" instead of the process.
Why the "Find Your Passion" Advice is Actually Dangerous
We've been told since kindergarten that we need to find our one true calling.
Stanford researchers Carol Dweck and Greg Walton did some fascinating work on this. They found that people who believe passion is "found" (the "fixed theory") tend to give up way faster when things get hard. They think, "Oh, this is difficult, so it must not be my passion."
On the flip side, people who believe passion is developed (the "growth theory") are much more resilient.
Passion isn't a treasure chest buried in your backyard. It's a garden. You have to plant the seeds, water the dirt, pull the weeds, and wait. If you go out looking for a fully grown oak tree, you’re going to be looking for a long time.
Think about Steve Jobs.
Everyone cites him as the poster child for passion. But if you look at his early life, he wasn't passionate about computers. He was passionate about Zen Buddhism, calligraphy, and Western history. He stumbled into electronics because it was a way to make a quick buck with Steve Wozniak. The passion for "tools for the mind" grew after he started doing the work.
The work came first. The passion followed.
👉 See also: Deep Wave Short Hair Styles: Why Your Texture Might Be Failing You
Real World Examples: It's Not Always Pretty
Let’s look at Julia Child.
She didn't even start cooking until she was in her late 30s. Before that, she worked in intelligence for the OSS during World War II. She didn't "find" her passion for French cuisine until she was living in Rouen and ate a meal of sole meunière. But even then, it wasn't an instant career. She spent years in the Cordon Bleu, failing tests, practicing until her fingers bled, and rewriting her cookbook dozens of times because no publisher wanted it.
She suffered for it. Remember the Latin root? Pati.
Or take someone like Alex Honnold, the guy who climbed El Capitan without a rope. People say he’s passionate about climbing. Sure. But watch the documentary Free Solo. He isn't smiling the whole time. He’s meticulous. He’s bored by the repetition. He spends hundreds of hours memorizing every single finger-hold on a 3,000-foot wall.
Passion, in this sense, is just a high-octane version of discipline.
The Intersection of Curiosity and Competence
If you're sitting there thinking, "I don't have a passion," relax. Most people don't. Or at least, they don't have one big, shiny thing.
Maybe you have "multipotentiality." This is a term coined by Emilie Wapnick to describe people who have many interests and no "one true calling." For these people, passion is the intersection of different fields.
- Curiosity is the lead. It’s the quiet voice that says, "Huh, that’s interesting."
- Competence is the fuel. As you get better at something, you enjoy it more.
- Autonomy is the goal. Being able to do what you want, when you want.
When you mix these together, passion emerges. It’s a byproduct of being good at something that people value.
Cal Newport, a computer science professor at Georgetown, wrote an entire book called So Good They Can't Ignore You. His whole thesis is that "follow your passion" is terrible advice. Instead, he argues for "career capital." You build up rare and valuable skills. Once you have those skills, you can trade them for the things that make a job great: control, impact, and passion.
✨ Don't miss: December 12 Birthdays: What the Sagittarius-Capricorn Cusp Really Means for Success
Basically, stop looking for the feeling and start looking for the craft.
How to Actually "Interpret" Your Interests
If you want to understand passion: what does it mean for your specific life, you have to look at your "frustrated" time.
What are the things you do when you’re supposed to be doing something else? What are the topics you can’t help but argue about? What are the problems in the world that actually make you angry?
Anger is often a better indicator of passion than joy.
Joy is easy. Anyone can be passionate about eating pizza or watching movies. But what makes you lose sleep? What makes you want to get up and fix something?
- Maybe you hate bad design.
- Maybe you hate how confusing the legal system is.
- Maybe you hate that kids in your neighborhood don't have a place to play.
That "hate" or frustration is the raw material. If you can channel that energy into a skill, you’ve found your engine.
Actionable Steps: Developing Your Own Drive
Don't wait for a sign from the universe. It’s not coming. Instead, try this:
- Audit your curiosity. For the next week, write down every time you feel a tiny spark of interest in something. Doesn't matter how small. Maybe it’s a specific type of architecture or the way a certain business handles its shipping.
- Pick one and commit to "The 20-Hour Rule." Author Josh Kaufman suggests that it takes about 20 hours of focused practice to go from "totally incompetent" to "pretty good." Spend 20 hours on one of those curiosities.
- Evaluate the "suffering." During those 20 hours, did you mind the frustration? If you enjoyed the "hard" parts of the learning process, you’re onto something.
- Ignore the "What." Focus on the "How." Instead of asking what you want to do, ask how you want to work. Do you want to work with your hands? Do you want to lead a team? Do you want to solve puzzles alone in a room?
Passion isn't a destination. It’s the way you travel. It’s the intensity you bring to the things you choose to care about.
Stop trying to find it. Start building it. The "meaning" of passion is simply the decision to stay in the room when everyone else has gone home because the problem you're solving is more interesting than the comfort of your bed.
Go find a problem worth suffering for. That's the real secret.
What To Do Next
- Identify Your "High-Pain" Tolerance: Look back at your last three big projects. Which ones felt like a "good" kind of tired? That's where your natural endurance lies.
- Kill the "One True Calling" Myth: Give yourself permission to have five different interests this month. Diversity of input usually leads to a more unique "passion" output.
- Start Small: Don't quit your job. Spend 30 minutes a day on a side skill. Passion is built in the margins.