Most people think they’re experts because they’ve seen a few videos or had a couple of decent nights. Honestly? They’re usually wrong. Great oral sex isn't about some secret "move" you found on a forum. It’s about blood flow, nerve endings, and paying attention to the person in front of you. When you’re learning how to eat a pussy, you have to realize you’re dealing with the clitoris—an organ that has over 10,000 nerve endings. That is double what a penis has. If you go in too hard or too fast without a plan, you’re basically just causing irritation.
Stop overthinking it. Start listening.
Real intimacy is messy. It’s loud. It’s a lot of trial and error. You’ve probably heard people talk about "the alphabet" or "flicking the bean," but those are often just clichés that distract from the actual mechanics of pleasure. If you want to actually be good at this, you need to understand the anatomy and the rhythm. It's about building tension.
The Clitoris is Much Bigger Than You Think
You see a little nub. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Dr. Helen O'Connell, a urologist who revolutionized our understanding of female anatomy in the late 90s, proved that the clitoris actually extends deep into the body. It has "roots" or crura that wrap around the vaginal canal. When someone gets aroused, this whole structure engorges with blood. This is why "just rubbing the top" doesn't always work for everyone.
Sometimes, direct contact is actually painful.
Think about it like this: if you’ve ever had a sunburn, a light touch feels like a blowtorch. The clitoris can be that sensitive. This is why many people prefer stimulation through the hood or around the sides rather than right on the glans. You have to ask. "Does this feel good?" sounds basic, but it’s the only way to know if you’re hitting the mark or just being annoying.
Why Your Tongue Isn't a Power Drill
Consistency is the absolute king of oral sex. One of the biggest complaints people have is that their partner starts a rhythm, gets them right to the edge, and then suddenly decides to "mix it up" by changing speed or pressure. Don't do that. If you find something that’s working—stay there.
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Your tongue should be soft but firm. It’s a muscle. Use the flat part of your tongue for broad strokes and the tip for more pointed, intense pressure. But keep it wet. Saliva is your best friend here, but don't be afraid to keep a bottle of water or some high-quality, body-safe lube nearby. Friction is the enemy of an orgasm.
The Build-Up Matters More Than the Act
You can’t just dive in. Well, you can, but it’s usually better if you don't.
Start with the inner thighs. Move to the stomach. Use your breath. Warm air against the skin creates a sensory contrast that primes the nervous system. By the time you actually get to the main event, the person should be practically begging for it. This isn't just "foreplay"—this is the foundation of the entire experience. If the body isn't relaxed and the blood isn't already flowing to the pelvic region, the clitoris won't be as responsive.
Positioning is About Comfort, Not Just Geometry
If your neck hurts, you’re going to stop too soon. If their legs are cramping, they won't be able to focus on the sensation.
- The Pillow Prop: Put a pillow under their hips. It tilts the pelvis up and gives you a much better angle without straining your jaw.
- 69 is Overrated: Seriously. It’s hard to focus on giving great oral when you’re also trying to receive it. It’s a fun novelty, but for a focused session, it’s usually better to take turns.
- The Edge of the Bed: Have them lie on their back with their legs hanging off the bed while you kneel on the floor. This gives you full range of motion and keeps your back straight.
Communication Isn't a Mood Killer
There is a weird myth that talking during sex ruins the "magic." That's nonsense.
In fact, most people find it incredibly hot when a partner asks for direction. Use a "feedback loop." If they moan, keep doing exactly what you're doing. If they pull away slightly, back off the pressure. You can even use a scale of 1 to 10. "How is this on a scale of 1 to 10?" If they say a 7, ask what would make it a 9. Maybe it’s more pressure. Maybe it’s a different spot.
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You aren't a mind reader. Even if you've been with the same person for years, their body changes day to day based on their cycle, their stress levels, or even how much coffee they drank.
The "Everything Else" Factors
Let’s talk about the stuff people are embarrassed to mention. Scent and taste.
Genitals smell like genitals. That’s normal. However, if there’s a sharp, fishy odor or an unusual discharge, that’s a health conversation, not a technique issue. For the most part, a healthy body has a natural musk. If you’re worried about it, a quick shower together beforehand can take the pressure off.
Also, hands. If you’re using your fingers while you’re down there, make sure your nails are trimmed and smooth. A jagged nail can ruin the mood faster than a fire alarm. Wash your hands. It sounds like common sense, but you'd be surprised how many people forget that bacteria can cause infections like BV or yeast issues.
Advanced Techniques That Actually Work
Once you've got the rhythm down, you can experiment with "layering."
This involves using one hand to provide steady pressure on the mons pubis (the fatty tissue above the clitoris) while using your tongue for the more specific work. Or, use two fingers to gently spread the labia so you have a clear path. Some people love "suction." Creating a gentle seal with your lips and lightly inhaling can create a vacuum effect that mimics the sensation of a localized heartbeat.
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But again—consistency. If you find a rhythm that makes them arch their back, lock it in. Do not change it. Even if your tongue gets tired. Use your hand to take over for a second if you need a break, but keep the stimulation going.
What to Do When They’re Close
When someone is nearing an orgasm, their sensitivity skyrockets. This is the "critical zone."
You might notice their breathing get shallow or their legs start to shake. This is the moment where most people mess up by going faster. Usually, the best thing to do is keep the exact same pace but maybe increase the pressure slightly. Do not move to a different spot. If you’re on the clitoris, stay on the clitoris.
After they climax, don't just stop and move on. The area will be incredibly sensitive—sometimes even painful to touch—for a few minutes. Transition to soft kisses on the thighs or stomach. Cuddle. The "aftercare" is just as important as the act itself for building a connection.
Actionable Steps for Your Next Time
Don't try to master everything at once. Pick one thing to focus on.
First, focus on rhythm. See how long you can maintain the exact same motion without stopping. It’s harder than it sounds. Second, work on listening. Pay attention to the subtle sounds—the sharp intakes of breath are usually a better guide than any "how-to" guide you'll ever read.
Finally, remember that how to eat a pussy is about the person, not just the body part. Every individual has different "hot zones." Some people love the "G-spot" (which is actually an extension of the clitoral network inside the vagina), while others find internal stimulation distracting.
- Trim your nails tonight.
- Buy a high-quality lube (water-based is usually safest).
- Ask one specific question next time you're in the heat of the moment: "Faster or slower?"
Sex is a skill. Like any skill, it takes practice and a lack of ego. If you’re willing to be a student of your partner’s body, you’ll be better than 90% of the people out there who think they already know everything. Keep it simple, keep it wet, and keep it consistent.