Most people wait until January 1st to fix their lives. They buy the gym memberships, they toss the cookies, and they swear that this time is different. But honestly? January is a terrible time for a fresh start. It’s freezing, the days are short, and everyone is recovering from a holiday debt hangover. That is exactly why a massive shift has happened in how we view the autumn. Lately, social media feeds and personal journals are echoing a specific sentiment: October is all about me.
It sounds selfish. Maybe it is. But there is a biological and psychological reason why the "Main Character Energy" peaks when the leaves start to drop.
We aren't just talking about buying a pumpkin spice latte and calling it a day. This is about the "October Theory," a viral concept that suggests October is actually the second New Year. While September feels like "back to school" stress, October is where the pivot happens. It's the month where people stop performing for others and start auditing their own happiness before the winter hibernation kicks in.
Why the October Is All About Me mindset is actually backed by science
You’ve probably felt that weird surge of productivity when the air gets crisp. It’s not just in your head.
Research into Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) often focuses on the "winter blues," but the transition period in October triggers a "pre-hibernation" instinct in the human brain. According to environmental psychology, the cooling temperatures signal a period of reflection. We move from the outward-facing, social explosion of summer into a more internal, domestic focus.
Think about it.
In July, you're at every BBQ. You're saying yes to every road trip. By the time October hits, the social fatigue is real. Choosing yourself—putting the "me" in October—is a survival mechanism. Dr. Michael Terman, a pioneer in light therapy research at Columbia University, has noted how shifts in light cycles affect our circadian rhythms and, by extension, our motivation. When the sun sets earlier, our "social battery" drains faster, forcing us to prioritize who and what actually matters.
It’s a natural filter.
The "October Theory" and the Second New Year
If you’ve spent any time on TikTok or Instagram recently, you’ve seen the "October Theory" trending. The premise is simple: October 1st is the unofficial start of the year's final quarter (Q4). In the business world, Q4 is everything. It’s the final push to hit targets.
👉 See also: The Gospel of Matthew: What Most People Get Wrong About the First Book of the New Testament
People have started applying this corporate logic to their souls.
Basically, if you haven't achieved your goals by now, October is the last "clean" month to get it done before the chaos of Thanksgiving and Christmas ruins your schedule. It’s the sweet spot. You have enough time to see results but not enough time to procrastinate. This is why October is all about me becomes a mantra for fitness, career pivots, and ending bad relationships.
It’s the month of the "hard launch."
I’ve seen friends quit jobs in October specifically because they didn't want to carry that stress into a new calendar year. They wanted to spend the last 90 days of the year focusing on their own peace. It’s a calculated, intentional selfishness.
The aesthetic of the self
We can't ignore the visual component. October is the most "aesthetic" month for personal branding.
- The "Cozy Girl" aesthetic.
- Dark academia vibes.
- Wellness "reset" vlogs.
These aren't just trends; they are tools for identity formation. When the world outside turns orange and moody, it provides a perfect backdrop for "the work." It's easier to stay in and read a book or meal prep when it’s raining. The environment supports the ego.
Relationships: The "Cuffing Season" Rejection
Usually, October is associated with "Cuffing Season"—that time of year when single people scramble to find a partner to stay warm with during the winter. But there’s a counter-movement happening.
The October is all about me movement is the antithesis of Cuffing Season.
✨ Don't miss: God Willing and the Creek Don't Rise: The True Story Behind the Phrase Most People Get Wrong
Instead of looking for someone to fill a void, more people are using this time to "uncuff." They’re realizing that being tied to the wrong person during the holidays is a nightmare. They’re choosing solitude. There is a specific kind of power in spending a rainy October Sunday alone, doing exactly what you want, without checking in with a partner.
It’s about autonomy.
Breaking the "People Pleasing" cycle
October is the final barrier before the "Holiday Obligation" season begins. Once November hits, your time belongs to your family, your boss’s secret Santa, and your high school friends' annual drinks.
October is the buffer.
It is the one month where you can legitimately say "no" to things without people getting offended. "I'm just nesting," you tell them. "I'm focusing on myself right now." People accept it in October in a way they don't in June. Use that to your advantage.
How to actually execute an "All About Me" October
It’s one thing to say it; it’s another to do it. If you want to lean into this, you have to be ruthless with your calendar.
Start with a "Life Audit."
Write down every recurring commitment you have. Then, look at which ones make you feel like garbage. If it doesn't serve the "October is all about me" mission, it gets paused. This isn't about being mean; it's about being protective of your energy.
🔗 Read more: Kiko Japanese Restaurant Plantation: Why This Local Spot Still Wins the Sushi Game
- The Digital Purge: Unfollow the accounts that make you feel inadequate. If you’re trying to focus on your own journey, you don't need to see a 22-year-old influencer’s "passive income" lies.
- The Physical Space: Your environment is a reflection of your mind. In October, "me time" often looks like deep-cleaning a closet or finally buying the good bedsheets. It sounds mundane, but it’s an act of self-care that pays dividends in mental clarity.
- The Solo Date: Go to a movie alone. Go to a pumpkin patch alone. Seriously. The goal is to become your own favorite person.
The darker side: When reflection becomes rumination
There is a risk here. Experts in clinical psychology often warn that intense self-focus can slide into rumination—especially when the days get darker.
If October is all about me turns into "October is about all my failures," the benefit is lost. The distinction lies in action. Reflection is looking at the past to learn; rumination is looking at the past to suffer. If you find yourself spiraling, the best "me" move is to get outside. Even 15 minutes of midday sunlight can stop the serotonin dip that makes self-improvement feel like a chore.
The goal isn't perfection. It’s alignment.
Moving forward with intention
By the time the clocks turn back and November arrives, the "all about me" phase should have given you a solid foundation. You shouldn't be entering the holiday season exhausted. You should be entering it centered.
This isn't a "challenge" with a scoreboard. It’s a mindset shift.
Practical Next Steps for your October:
- Audit your "Yes" pile: Look at your calendar for the next two weeks. Cancel one thing that you are only doing out of guilt. Just one.
- Set a "Sunset Goal": Pick one thing you want to finish before the winter solstice (December 21st). Whether it’s a book, a fitness milestone, or a budget goal, use October to lay the tracks.
- Embrace the "Low-Stakes" Hobby: Do something just for you that has no "hustle" value. Paint a bad picture. Bake a bread that fails. Reclaiming your time means doing things that don't have to be posted or sold.
October is the bridge between who you were in the heat of the summer and who you want to be when the ball drops in January. Don't waste it waiting for a permission slip that isn't coming. Turn inward, get quiet, and make the month yours.