Objectophilia and the Guy Who Is in Love With His Car: What’s Actually Going On

Objectophilia and the Guy Who Is in Love With His Car: What’s Actually Going On

He isn't just a "car guy." Most of us know someone who spends every Saturday morning with a microfiber towel and a bucket of high-end wax, obsessing over a paint chip that nobody else can see. That’s normal enthusiast behavior. But when we talk about a guy who is in love with his car, we’re usually crossing into the territory of objectophilia—a genuine, deep-seated emotional and sometimes sexual attraction to inanimate objects.

It sounds like a tabloid headline. Honestly, it often is.

But for people like Edward Smith or Nathaniel Shidell, whose stories have been documented in various media outlets over the years, the connection to their vehicles isn't a hobby. It’s a relationship. They describe feelings of intimacy, loyalty, and companionship that others find in human partners. This isn't about being "weird" for the sake of it. It’s a complex psychological phenomenon that challenges how we define love and connection in a world increasingly filled with high-tech machines.

Why Do People Develop Feelings for Machines?

Psychologists and researchers often point toward a specific orientation known as Objectum Sexuality (OS). It’s not just about cars. People have reported being in love with the Eiffel Tower, the Berlin Wall, or even a specific soundboard. But cars are different. They have "eyes" (headlights), a "voice" (the engine note), and a "heart" (the motor). They move. They respond to your touch.

One of the most famous cases involves a man named Edward Smith from Washington state. He gained international attention for his relationship with a 1967 Volkswagen Beetle named "Vanilla." Smith didn't see the car as a hunk of metal. To him, it had a personality. He claimed to have had sexual encounters with hundreds of cars before "settling down" with his Beetle.

The Role of Neurodivergence

There is a significant overlap between objectophilia and neurodivergence, particularly the autism spectrum. Many individuals with OS report that human relationships feel chaotic. Humans are unpredictable. They lie, they leave, and they have complex emotional needs that can be overwhelming to process.

A car? A car is consistent.

If you take care of it, it works. It doesn’t judge you. It doesn’t demand you change your personality. For someone who finds human social cues exhausting, the mechanical reliability of a vehicle offers a safe harbor. It’s a form of "stimming" or hyper-fixation that evolves into a romantic bond. Dr. Amy Marsh, a clinical sexologist who has studied OS, suggests that these individuals aren't "broken." They simply experience the world through a different sensory and emotional lens. They see the "essence" of the object where the rest of us just see a tool.

The Difference Between Passion and Objectophilia

How do you know if someone is just a dedicated collector or a guy who is in love with his car in a literal sense? The line is usually found in the emotional reciprocity.

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A standard car enthusiast loves what the car represents. They love the status, the speed, the engineering, or the nostalgia of a specific era. They might love the car, sure, but they’d sell it for the right price or an upgrade.

For someone with objectophilia, selling the car would feel like a divorce or a death.

  • The Enthusiast: Focuses on performance, resale value, and aesthetics. They want to show the car off to other humans.
  • The Objectophile: Focuses on the "soul" of the machine. They often prefer private time with the vehicle. They might talk to it, buy it "gifts" (special parts not for performance, but as tokens of affection), and feel a physical ache when they are away from it.

Media Sensationalism vs. Reality

We’ve all seen the documentaries. "My Car is My Lover" or "Strange Love." These shows tend to lean into the "cringe" factor because it drives views. They focus on the physical mechanics of the relationship because that’s what shocks the audience.

But if you actually listen to the people involved, they rarely lead with the physical. They talk about the comfort. They talk about the way the light hits the hood and how that makes them feel seen. It’s a deeply lonely experience to be in love with something the rest of the world considers "trash" or "property."

Nathaniel Shidell, who was featured on the show My Strange Addiction regarding his relationship with a Monte Carlo named "Chase," described it as a deep emotional bond. While the show focused on the "addiction" aspect, the underlying reality was a man finding solace in a machine during a time of emotional need.

The Psychological Perspective: Animism and Synesthesia

Why a car? Why not a toaster?

Cars are anthropomorphized more than almost any other object. We give them names. We talk to them when they won't start ("Come on, baby, just one more time"). This is a form of animism—the belief that inanimate objects possess a spiritual essence.

Some people who identify as OS also experience synesthesia. This is a neurological condition where senses overlap. They might "smell" a color or "feel" a sound. For a guy in love with his car, the vibration of the engine might trigger an emotional response that is indistinguishable from the feeling of a human hug.

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It’s also worth noting the "Uncanny Valley" effect. As cars become more autonomous and "intelligent" with AI interfaces, the line between machine and companion is blurring for everyone, not just those with OS. Think about how people talk to their Teslas or their Alexa devices. We are being conditioned to treat machines as entities.

Social Stigma and the "Closet"

Living as a guy who is in love with his car isn't easy. You can't exactly bring your 1998 Mustang to Thanksgiving dinner and ask for an extra chair.

Most people in this community live in total secrecy. They fear losing their jobs, their families, or being committed to a psychiatric ward. Despite the fact that OS doesn't harm anyone—after all, the "partner" can't withhold consent and there’s no victim—it remains one of the last great taboos.

The internet has changed things slightly. There are now private forums and groups where people can share their feelings without judgment. They discuss maintenance as a form of "foreplay" or "self-care" for the relationship. It’s a subculture built on the idea that love isn't restricted to biological forms.

Common Misconceptions

  1. It’s a fetish. While there can be a sexual component, for many, it’s purely romantic or platonic. It’s about the bond, not just the act.
  2. They are dangerous. There is zero evidence linking objectophilia to violence or predatory behavior toward humans.
  3. They don't understand it’s a car. They know. They aren't delusional. They know it’s steel, glass, and rubber. They just don't think those materials preclude the existence of a soul or a personality.

The Evolution of the Relationship

Most of these relationships follow a pattern. It starts with an attraction to a specific model. Maybe it’s the curves of a vintage Porsche or the ruggedness of a Jeep.

Then comes the "getting to know you" phase. This is where the owner spends hours just sitting in the car, not driving, just being present. They begin to notice the quirks—the way the glove box sticks or the specific scent of the old leather. These flaws become "endearing traits" rather than things to be fixed.

Eventually, the car becomes the primary emotional outlet. If the guy has a bad day at work, he doesn't call a friend. He goes to the garage. The garage becomes a sanctuary. It’s the one place where the world makes sense.

What We Can Learn From Objectophilia

It’s easy to dismiss this. It’s easy to laugh.

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But there is something interesting about the level of care these individuals provide to their vehicles. In a throwaway culture where we replace our phones every two years and treat cars like depreciating assets, the guy who is in love with his car represents a radical form of commitment.

They aren't looking for the next best thing. They aren't looking for a newer model with better fuel economy. They are devoted to the one they have.

There’s a lesson there about the nature of appreciation and the way we interact with the physical world. While most of us won't end up in a romantic relationship with a Chevy, we can probably all stand to take a little better care of the things we own and find a bit more joy in the "personality" of our surroundings.

How to Handle This in Real Life

If you realize a friend or family member has an unusually deep bond with their vehicle, the "intervention" approach usually backfires. Shaming someone for their emotional attachments rarely leads to change; it just leads to better hiding.

If the person is still functioning in society—holding a job, maintaining hygiene, not hurting anyone—then the "relationship" is essentially a private coping mechanism.

Actionable Insights for the Curious

  • Read the research: Look into the work of Erika Eiffel (who "married" the Eiffel Tower) to understand the advocacy side of the OS community.
  • Identify the signs: Distinguish between "extreme hobbyist" and "objectophile" by looking for emotional dependency rather than just financial investment.
  • Respect the boundary: Understand that for these individuals, the car is a source of genuine comfort. Mocking that comfort can have real psychological consequences.
  • Check your bias: Ask yourself why a person loving a car is seen as "crazy" while people who treat their dogs like humans or spend $50,000 on a digital NFT are often given a pass.

Love is a weird, messy, and non-linear thing. For some, it just happens to have four wheels and a tailpipe.

If you are looking to better understand the psychology of unconventional attachments, start by looking into the concept of Animate Tendency. This is the human inclination to see life in non-living things. It’s the same reason we apologize to a chair when we bump into it. For some people, that dial is just turned all the way up to eleven.

Instead of focusing on the "weirdness," look at the "wholeness." If the person is happy and the car is well-maintained, maybe the world has bigger problems to worry about than a guy who really, really loves his car.


Next Steps for Understanding OS:

  • Research the "Anthropomorphism Scale" to see where you land in your own tendency to attribute human traits to objects.
  • Investigate "Sensory Processing Sensitivity" (SPS) and its link to how people form attachments to their physical environments.
  • Explore the "Right to Love" movements that advocate for the acceptance of non-traditional relationship structures, including those involving objects.

The reality of objectophilia is far less about the "shock factor" and much more about the human need for connection in a world that often feels cold and disconnected. Whether that connection is found in a person, a pet, or a 1967 Beetle, the emotional weight of that bond is undeniably real to the person experiencing it.