The air inside the Washington National Cathedral is usually heavy, but on those rare mornings when the "Presidents’ Club" gathers, the atmosphere turns electric. It’s not just the incense or the organ music. It is the raw, visible tension of men who have run the world—and who happen to despise each other—forced into a single wooden pew.
Whenever you see Obama and Trump at funeral proceedings, you aren't just watching a state ceremony. You are watching a high-stakes poker game of body language.
Honestly, it’s kinda fascinating. These are the only people on the planet who truly understand the crushing weight of the Resolute Desk, yet they often treat each other with the warmth of a February morning in Siberia. But then, every so often, the cameras catch a glitch in the matrix. A laugh. A handshake. A whisper that sets the internet on fire.
The most recent of these "glitches" happened just a year ago, in January 2025, during the state funeral for Jimmy Carter. If you blinked, you missed it, but the footage that went viral tells a story far more complex than the "bitter rivals" narrative we see on cable news every night.
The Handshake Heard ‘Round the World
Let’s go back to 2018 first, because you can't understand the current vibe without looking at the George H.W. Bush funeral. That was the first time Barack Obama and Donald Trump had come face-to-face since the 2017 inauguration.
The tension was thick enough to cut with a butter knife.
When Trump and Melania arrived and took their seats at the end of the front row, the shift in energy was instantaneous. The Clintons, seated just a few feet away, looked straight ahead like they were staring into a solar eclipse. Hillary didn't even flinch. But the Obamas? They did the "protocol" thing.
Barack reached out. Trump took the hand. It was a quick, professional squeeze—the kind you give a cousin you only see at weddings and funerals. Michelle Obama’s reaction was what really got people talking, though. She shook his hand, but her expression was… well, let's just say it wasn't exactly a glowing endorsement. Later, in her memoir Becoming, she admitted she would "never forgive" Trump for his role in the birther conspiracy, which she felt put her daughters’ safety at risk.
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That 2018 interaction set a baseline: cold, clinical, and strictly by the book.
The 2025 Twist: Golf and Giggles?
Fast forward to January 9, 2025. The world gathered again at the National Cathedral, this time to say goodbye to the 100-year-old Jimmy Carter.
This was different.
The seating chart put Obama and Trump at funeral pews right next to each other. People expected fireworks or, at the very least, a repeat of the 2018 "Cold War." Instead, the cameras caught something that looked suspiciously like… a friendship?
Okay, maybe not a friendship. But definitely a conversation.
They weren't just nodding; they were chatting. At one point, Trump leaned in and whispered something into Obama’s ear. Obama didn't pull away. He didn't grimace. He actually cracked up. A full-on, shoulders-shaking laugh.
Naturally, the internet lost its mind. Lip readers were hired by every major network. Rumors flew that they were discussing the incoming administration or some secret global crisis.
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What was actually said?
According to the 2025 book 2024: How Trump Retook the White House and the Democrats Lost America, authored by journalists Josh Dawsey and Tyler Pager, the topic was way more mundane than anyone expected.
Trump apparently spent a good portion of the service talking about his golf courses.
Basically, he was trying to "sell" Obama on his international properties. According to the book, Trump was describing the beauty of his courses in Scotland and Ireland, even suggesting they should hit the links sometime. Whether Obama was laughing at the absurdity of the timing or the pitch itself, we don't know. But the image of them sharing a joke while Kamala Harris looked on with a visibly stern expression became the defining image of the day.
The Secret Etiquette of the Presidents’ Club
Why do they even talk? You’d think they’d just ignore each other.
It comes down to a weird, unspoken code. There are only five men alive who have held that office (well, four now, following Carter's passing). No matter how much they bash each other on the campaign trail, they are part of a fraternity that no one else can join.
- The Invitation Rule: The sitting president always invites the former presidents to state funerals. It’s not a choice; it’s a requirement of the job.
- The "Front Row" Protocol: They are always seated by order of their term. This is why you often see them lined up like a living timeline of American history.
- The Truce: For the duration of the service, the political "gloves" are supposed to come off. Trump, who usually doesn't play by anyone's rules, actually stayed uncharacteristically quiet during the Bush funeral in 2018, even though he had spent years mocking the "thousand points of light" slogan.
But don't mistake civility for change of heart.
Just days before the Carter funeral, Trump was on Truth Social complaining about flags being at half-staff. And months after the "golf chat," Obama was back on the trail calling Trump’s rhetoric "weird" and "dangerous."
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The Obama and Trump at funeral interactions are a performance. It’s a message to the public that the institutions of the country are bigger than the men holding the microphones. It’s a show of stability, even if the actors are grit-teethed behind their smiles.
Why We Can’t Look Away
There is something deeply human about seeing two of the most powerful people on earth stuck in a situation they clearly don't want to be in. We’ve all been there. The awkward family dinner. The work party with the boss you can't stand.
Except when we do it, there aren't forty-two high-definition cameras zoomed in on our facial twitches.
We analyze these moments because we’re looking for a sign that the country isn't as divided as it feels. If the guy who started the "birther" movement and the guy who called him a "wannabe king" can sit in a pew and share a laugh over a golf course, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us.
Or maybe they're just really good at their jobs.
Actionable Insights: How to Read the Room
If you find yourself watching the next big state event, don't just listen to the eulogies. Watch the pews. Here is how to decode the Obama and Trump at funeral dynamics like a pro:
- Look at the lean: If one president leans toward another (like Trump did in 2025), it’s an attempt to establish dominance or "claim" the conversation.
- The "Forward Stare": This is the Hillary Clinton special. If a leader is looking dead ahead while someone is talking right next to them, the relationship is likely beyond repair.
- The Handshake Height: A high, firm handshake is a sign of mutual respect. A low, quick one is a "let's get this over with" move.
- The "Wife Factor": Often, the spouses signal the true temperature of the room. Michelle Obama and Melania Trump have historically been much more transparent with their expressions than their husbands.
Next time these two are in the same room, remember that the "Presidents' Club" is the world’s most exclusive—and most awkward—neighborhood association. They might not like the neighbors, but they’re stuck with them for life.
To understand more about the shifting dynamics of the 2026 political landscape, you can track the official White House schedule or follow the presidential historians at the Miller Center, who frequently document these rare gatherings of the "living presidents." For now, the "golf summit" remains the most surprising chapter in the ongoing saga of the 44th and 45th presidents.