If you’ve spent any time on the internet lately, you’ve probably seen a deadpan George Washington standing by a campfire, looking slightly confused, explaining why a "ton" is 2,000 pounds but there’s absolutely no word for 1,000 pounds. That’s Nate Bargatze. He’s the "nicest man in stand-up," and he somehow turned the most boring topic in human history—the imperial system—into a viral comedy juggernaut.
People are searching for nate bargatze weights and measures because it feels like a fever dream that makes too much sense. Why do we use liters for soda but gallons for milk? Why is a football field 100 yards, but we run 5K races? It’s a mess.
The Sketch That Broke the Internet
It started on Saturday Night Live in October 2023. Nate was hosting for the first time. The sketch, titled "Washington’s Dream," features Nate as George Washington crossing the Delaware. But instead of talking about liberty or taxes, he’s obsessed with the future of American units.
He tells his bewildered soldiers that in this new land, they will measure distance in inches, feet, yards, and miles. When a soldier (played by Kenan Thompson) asks how many feet are in a mile, Nate’s Washington replies with total confidence: "5,280. It’s a simple number that everyone will remember."
It’s hilarious because it’s true. It is a ridiculous number. Nobody remembers it unless they’re a math teacher or a runner who’s had a very bad day.
Why the Humor Lands So Hard
Nate Bargatze doesn’t do "high-energy" comedy. He’s the king of the low-stakes observation. His voice has this specific Tennessee lilt that makes him sound like a guy who’s just trying to figure out a complicated menu at a diner. When he applies that "average guy" energy to the Founding Fathers, the contrast is gold.
- The Fahrenheit Problem: He mentions how we’ll use a temperature scale where 0 is very cold and 100 is very hot, but it has no relation to when water freezes (32) or boils (212).
- The Liquid Confusion: We use liters for "large soda" but gallons for gas. It makes no sense.
- The Ton Logic: As he famously says, 2,000 pounds is a ton. But 1,000 pounds? Nothing. We just don't have a word for it.
The writers of the sketch, Mikey Day and Streeter Seidell, actually had this idea sitting in a "vault" for years. It never quite worked with other hosts. They needed someone who could deliver the lines with a straight face, looking like he genuinely believes these arbitrary numbers are a gift to the people. Nate was the perfect fit.
Is This in His Stand-up Specials?
A lot of fans go looking for the nate bargatze weights and measures bit in his Netflix or Amazon specials. Here’s the reality: it’s primarily an SNL sketch. However, the vibe of the sketch is 100% Nate.
If you watch The Tennessee Kid or Hello World, you’ll see the same logic applied to his own life. He talks about being "not a math guy." He talks about his dad being a magician. He talks about how he doesn't understand anything. The "Washington’s Dream" sketch is basically Nate’s stand-up persona wearing a wig and holding a musket.
Actually, the sketch was such a hit that they did a sequel when he hosted again in 2024. In the second one, they tackled food. Why is a "hamburger" made of cow? Why is a "buffalo wing" just a chicken wing with spicy sauce? Again, it’s that specific brand of "why is the world like this?" humor.
The Reality of American Measurements
Believe it or not, there's a tiny bit of history buried in the jokes. The U.S. actually tried to switch to the metric system in the 1970s. We even had road signs in kilometers for a minute. But Americans basically looked at the signs and said, "No thanks."
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We’re one of the only countries that stuck with the Imperial system, and Nate exploits that stubbornness perfectly. He frames it as "liberty." We have the liberty to be confusing. We have the liberty to have rulers with inches on one side and centimeters on the other that never actually line up. ### Key Takeaways from the "Washington’s Dream" Logic
- Complexity is American: If it’s easy to divide by 10, we don't want it.
- Naming is Random: We will name things after animals that aren't in the food (looking at you, Buffalo wings).
- The "Nothing" Gap: We are perfectly fine with having names for some amounts and leaving others as a mystery.
How to Watch the Best Bits
If you want the full experience of nate bargatze weights and measures, you should head to YouTube and search for "Washington’s Dream SNL." It has tens of millions of views for a reason.
If you’ve already seen that and want more of that specific logic, check out:
- "The Greatest Average American" (Netflix): Great for his "I don't know what's going on" energy.
- "Hello World" (Amazon Prime): This is where he really leans into the dad-humor that makes the SNL sketches work.
- The Nateland Podcast: Nate and his friends (Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slay) often go on 20-minute tangents about things exactly like the metric system.
Honestly, the reason this bit works is that it’s universal. Everyone has had that moment in 4th grade where they realized they had to memorize how many cups are in a gallon (it’s 16, by the way, which is another "simple number everyone remembers").
Nate Bargatze didn't just write a funny sketch; he gave a voice to every person who has ever looked at a ruler and felt slightly insulted by the math.
To get the most out of Nate's style, start by watching the original 2023 SNL sketch to understand the "Washington" character, then follow it up with his 2024 monologue. This gives you the bridge between his "Founding Father" persona and his real-life observations about being a "common man" in a world of experts. After that, diving into his Netflix specials will show you how he builds a joke from a simple, slightly dumb observation into a 5-minute masterpiece.