Naked Woman Golf Tees: Why They Still Have a Place in the Modern Golf Bag

Naked Woman Golf Tees: Why They Still Have a Place in the Modern Golf Bag

You’ve seen them. Maybe they were buried at the bottom of a range bucket, or perhaps your uncle pulled one out of his pocket with a smirk during the annual family scramble. Naked woman golf tees—often called "lady tees" or "pin-up tees"—are one of those weird, sticky relics of golf culture that just won't seem to go away.

Golf is changing. Fast. The R&A and the USGA are pushing for inclusivity, and the "old boys' club" vibe is being dismantled brick by brick. Yet, walk into any local pro shop or browse a specialized online golf boutique, and there they are. They’re plastic, usually around 2.75 inches to 3.25 inches, and shaped like a silhouette.

They’re polarizing. Honestly, it depends on who you ask. To some, they are a harmless bit of kitsch that reminds them of the 1970s. To others, they are a cringey reminder of why some people find golf elitist or unwelcoming. But if we’re looking at the data of what people actually buy, these novelty items remain a top-selling "gag gift" in the sports industry.

Let's get into why.

The History of the Novelty Tee

The golf tee wasn’t always a thing. In the early days, golfers used a "pinch of sand" to elevate the ball. It was messy. It was inconsistent. Then came the "Reddy Tee" in the 1920s, patented by William Lowell. Once the wooden tee became the standard, it didn't take long for the marketing guys to realize that the tee was a blank canvas.

Novelty tees exploded in the post-WWII era. This was the age of the pin-up girl. You had artists like Alberto Vargas and Gil Elvgren defining an aesthetic that migrated from nose art on planes to lighters, playing cards, and eventually, the golf course. By the 1960s and 70s, naked woman golf tees were a staple in bachelor party gift bags and "tournament survival kits."

They weren't just about the visual, either. There was a weird sort of mechanical logic used to sell them. Manufacturers claimed the "curvy" design of the lady tee provided a more stable base for the ball or reduced friction.

Is that true? No. Not really.

A standard wooden peg or a high-performance brush tee will almost always outperform a novelty plastic shape in a wind tunnel or on a launch monitor like a Trackman. But people don't buy naked woman golf tees for the "launch angle" or "spin rate control."

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They buy them for the reaction.

Does Performance Even Matter Here?

If you're a scratch golfer trying to qualify for the U.S. Amateur, you’re probably not using a plastic lady tee. Why? Because plastic is less forgiving than cedar or bamboo. When you strike a plastic tee, there’s a specific vibration. If it’s shaped like a person, the weight distribution is uneven.

I’ve seen guys snap the heads off these things on the first hole. It's awkward.

  • Durability: Most are made of cheap injection-molded plastic. They bend.
  • Consistency: The "seat" where the ball rests is often wider than a standard tee to accommodate the design. This can actually make the ball sit slightly higher or lower depending on how you've angled the "limbs" of the tee.
  • Legality: Under the USGA Equipment Rules (Rule 6.2), a tee must not be longer than 4 inches and must not be designed to indicate the line of play or unduly influence the movement of the ball. Most naked woman golf tees pass this test, but they are rarely "conforming" for high-level tournament play simply because they aren't submitted for testing.

Basically, if you’re playing for money or a trophy, stick to the basics. If you’re playing a "four-club challenge" with beers involved, the aerodynamics of a plastic silhouette probably isn't your biggest concern.

The "Gag Gift" Economy

The golf industry is worth billions. A huge chunk of that isn't clubs or balls—it's "golf-adjacent" merchandise.

Think about the last time you went to a charity golf outing. There's always a silent auction or a gift bag. This is where the naked woman golf tees live. They are the ultimate "I didn't know what to get you" gift for the golfer who has everything.

Companies like Western Birch or Pride Professional Tee System dominate the serious market. But if you look at Amazon's "Gag Gifts" or "Sports Novelties" categories, brands that produce these plastic silhouettes often see spikes during Father's Day and Christmas.

It’s about the "naughty" factor. It’s the same reason people buy "exploding golf balls" or "putting partners" that look like beer cans. It’s a low-stakes way to get a laugh on the tee box. Or a groan. Mostly groans lately.

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Changing Demographics and the Cringe Factor

We have to talk about the elephant in the room. Golf is no longer just a sport for retired businessmen. The fastest-growing demographic in golf? Women. According to the National Golf Foundation (NGF), female golfers now account for about 25% of all players.

When you have a quarter of the field being women, the "naked lady" tee starts to feel a bit... dated.

I talked to a club pro in Florida once who told me he stopped stocking them entirely. He said, "It’s not about being 'woke.' It’s about not being an idiot. If I have a high school girls' team practicing here, I don't want a 50-year-old dude leaving plastic naked women on the tee box. It’s just bad for business."

There’s a shift toward "lifestyle" branding. Look at brands like Malbon Golf or Bad Birdie. They’re cool. They’re edgy. But they’re not sexist. They focus on streetwear aesthetics and bold patterns. In that world, the naked woman golf tee is seen as "old man energy."

It’s the golf equivalent of a "No Fat Chicks" bumper sticker. It exists, but it’s mostly found in the bargain bin of a gas station.

Where to Actually Find Them (If You Must)

If you are genuinely looking for these—maybe for a retro-themed tournament or a specific joke—you won't find them at Dick’s Sporting Goods. You have to go to the niche spots.

  1. Online Specialty Shops: Sites like Gifts for Card Sharks or various Etsy creators still produce these in bulk.
  2. Local "Hole-in-the-Wall" Pro Shops: The kind of place that still has a rack of sun-bleached hats from 1998.
  3. The "Divot" Bin: Honestly, most people find them. They are like a weird currency on public courses.

Some modern versions have actually leaned into the kitsch. You can find "Merman" tees, or "Dad Bod" tees. These are riffs on the original naked woman golf tees that try to be a bit more inclusive with the humor. They're still plastic. They still break. But they're less likely to get you a talking-to from the Marshall.

How to Use Novelty Tees Without Being "That Guy"

Look, context is everything. If you’re at a high-end country club like Pinehurst or Cypress Point, keep the novelty gear in the bag. Those places have a vibe, and "plastic silhouette of a woman" isn't it.

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However, if you’re playing a "Big Game" with your college buddies and everyone is leaning into the ridiculousness, go for it. Just don't be the person who leaves them behind.

Leave no trace.

The biggest complaint greenskeepers have isn't the shape of the tee—it's the material. Plastic tees take forever to decompose. When a mower hits a plastic tee, it can nick the blades. If you're going to use a naked woman golf tee, pick it up after your drive. Don't let it become a permanent fixture of the 4th hole tee box.

The Practical Reality

At the end of the day, a tee is a tool.

If you want to play better golf, you should probably be looking at Martini Tees for durability or Maxfli Performance Series for consistency. Those tees are designed by engineers to help you keep the ball in the fairway.

Naked woman golf tees are designed by marketers to help you get a chuckle.

They are a relic of a different era of the game. Like persimmon woods or square-toed golf shoes, they are slowly fading into the background. But as long as there are bachelor parties and "bad" gift exchanges, they'll probably keep showing up in the occasional golf bag.

Actionable Steps for the Modern Golfer

If you're looking to upgrade your "tee game" while keeping things interesting, here is how you should actually approach it:

  • Audit your bag: Get rid of the broken plastic junk. If you have novelty tees, keep them in a separate pouch for "casual rounds" only.
  • Invest in Bamboo: If you want to be "cool" and environmentally conscious, bamboo tees are the current trend. They are stronger than wood but biodegradable.
  • Know your audience: Before you pull out a naked woman golf tee, read the room. If you're playing with strangers or clients, stick to a white wooden peg. It’s classic. It’s professional.
  • Prioritize height consistency: The biggest mistake golfers make with novelty tees is not knowing how deep to poke them into the ground. If the "design" of the tee makes it hard to gauge height, you’re going to struggle with your strike location on the clubface. Use a tee with "striped" markings if you want to actually improve your game.

Golf is a game of tradition, but it’s also a game of etiquette. The "lady tee" sits right at the intersection of both. Use them if you want, but don't expect them to help your handicap—or your reputation at the local club.