It’s a Tuesday night, you’re in your favorite oversized hoodie, and you’re feeling pretty good until your boyfriend drops a bomb. He doesn’t scream it. He doesn’t even look up from his phone. He just says it: "Honestly, you're kinda mid."
That word—mid—has become the ultimate linguistic weapon of the 2020s. It’s worse than being called ugly because it implies you're aggressively average. It suggests you’re background noise. When your bf says i look mid, it isn’t just a comment on your eyeliner or your choice of jeans; it feels like a fundamental rejection of your spark. It’s a specific kind of digital-era negging that hits different because it’s so nonchalant.
Words matter. Especially when they come from the person who is supposed to be your biggest fan.
Why "Mid" Is the New Relationship Red Flag
Let’s be real. In the world of Gen Z slang and TikTok aesthetics, "mid" is the death of desire. It’s a term used to describe a mediocre movie or a burger that was okay but not worth the $18. When applied to a partner, it’s dehumanizing. It strips away the intimacy of a relationship and replaces it with the cold, evaluative lens of a social media scroller.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, an expert on narcissistic behavior and toxic relationships, often discusses how "negging"—the practice of giving backhanded compliments or subtle insults—is a tool for control. By telling you that you’re average, your partner is subconsciously (or consciously) trying to lower your "market value." The logic is warped: if you think you’re mid, you won’t realize you can do better than him.
It's a power play. Plain and simple.
💡 You might also like: Virgo Love Horoscope for Today and Tomorrow: Why You Need to Stop Fixing People
Some guys claim they’re just "being honest" or "keeping it real." But there is a massive chasm between radical honesty and unnecessary cruelty. If you didn’t ask for a rating, and he’s offering up a 5/10 score like he’s a judge on a reality show, he’s not being honest. He’s being mean.
The Science of Physical Attraction and "The Halo Effect"
Attraction is weirdly subjective, but in a long-term relationship, it usually functions through something called the "Halo Effect." This is a cognitive bias where our overall impression of a person influences how we feel about their specific traits. Essentially, if you love someone’s soul, they look like a 10 to you. Their "flaws" become features.
When your bf says i look mid, he is essentially telling you that the Halo Effect has worn off or never existed. This is why it hurts so much more than a stranger saying it. A stranger doesn’t know your laugh or the way you make coffee. Your boyfriend does. If he still sees you as "middle of the road" despite knowing your heart, it suggests a lack of emotional depth on his part.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has shown that individuals in satisfied relationships consistently rate their partners as more attractive than they are rated by strangers. This "positive illusion" is actually a hallmark of a healthy, stable bond. If he’s rating you lower—or even accurately according to some objective standard—it’s a sign the emotional connection is fraying.
Is he just "terminally online"?
We have to talk about the "brain rot" factor. People who spend eight hours a day on Instagram or TikTok are constantly bombarded with filtered, AI-enhanced, surgically altered images of "10s."
📖 Related: Lo que nadie te dice sobre la moda verano 2025 mujer y por qué tu armario va a cambiar por completo
This creates something called "Social Comparison Theory."
If your boyfriend is constantly consuming high-gloss content, his baseline for what is "attractive" becomes completely detached from reality. He’s comparing a real, breathing human being to a pixelated fantasy. It’s a recipe for misery. If he’s calling you mid, he might just be suffering from a warped perception of what women actually look like in 3D.
How to Handle the "Mid" Comment Without Losing Your Mind
You have options. You don't have to just sit there and take it, and you also don't have to immediately pack your bags (though, honestly, that’s a valid choice).
First, look at the context. Was he joking? (Spoiler: It’s still not funny). Was he trying to get a reaction because he’s feeling insecure? Sometimes, when men feel "mid" themselves, they project that onto their partners to level the playing field.
The Direct Confrontation
Next time it happens, don't cry. Don't get defensive. Just ask: "Why would you want to be with someone you think is just 'average'?"
👉 See also: Free Women Looking for Older Men: What Most People Get Wrong About Age-Gap Dating
This flips the script. It puts the burden of the relationship’s quality back on him. If he’s dating someone he considers mid, what does that say about his own standards? It forces him to confront the stupidity of his own comment.
Evaluate the "Relationship Resume"
Is this an isolated incident? Or does he also "forget" to text you back, belittle your career goals, and ignore your needs in bed? Usually, the "mid" comment is just one symptom of a much larger disease. If he doesn't respect your appearance, he likely doesn't respect your time, your feelings, or your intellect.
Reclaiming Your Confidence
Your value is not a floating number on a scale of one to ten.
The danger of hearing "you look mid" repeatedly is that you start to believe it. You start checking the mirror for flaws you never noticed. You start wondering if you need filler or a new wardrobe or a personality transplant.
Stop.
The problem isn't your face. The problem is the person looking at it.
Actionable Steps to Take Right Now
- Audit your environment. If your boyfriend is the only person making you feel small, he is the variable that needs to change. Surround yourself with people who think you’re the main character, because you are.
- Stop the "ratings" game. Don't ask him "Do I look pretty?" if you know he’s going to use it as an opportunity to neg you. Withdraw the validation he gets from being your "judge."
- Focus on "Body Neutrality." Instead of obsessing over being a "10," focus on what your body does. It carries you through the world. It works. It’s your home. It’s too important to be dismissed with a four-letter slang word.
- Consider the "Relationship Cost-Benefit." Does this man add joy to your life? If the answer is "sometimes, but he also calls me mid," the math isn't adding up. You aren't a used car. You don't have a "fair market value."
In a world obsessed with peak aesthetics, finding someone who sees your "average" days as beautiful is the goal. If he can't see the magic in you, he's simply not looking hard enough. Or worse, he's looking but choosing to stay silent. You deserve someone who looks at you and sees a masterpiece, even on your "mid" Tuesdays. If he thinks you're mid, let him go find someone "high tier"—he'll quickly realize that perfection is a myth and he lost something real in the process.