He was the guy. The one with the chauffeur, the heavy glass of scotch, and that smirk that launched a thousand think pieces. John James Preston—better known to the world as Mr. Big—wasn't just a love interest. He was a symbol of 1990s New York power and the specific kind of emotional unavailability that kept audiences hooked for six seasons, two movies, and a controversial reboot. People love him. People hate him. Honestly, most fans do both at the exact same time.
Big was the "unreachable" man.
When Mr. Big in Sex and the City first stepped out of that black town car in the pilot episode, he changed the trajectory of prestige TV. He wasn't the boy next door. He was the man you met at a party and spent the next three years analyzing with your friends over eggs benedict. Michael Patrick King and Darren Star created a character that functioned more like a destination than a person for Carrie Bradshaw.
The Myth of the "Greatest Love Story"
We need to be real about the toxic cycles here. For years, the narrative was that Carrie and Big were soulmates. If you actually rewatch the early seasons of Sex and the City, you’ll notice something uncomfortable: they were terrible for each other. Big treated Carrie like an option, and Carrie treated Big like a project.
It was a power imbalance. Big had the money, the age, and the "I don't need anyone" attitude. Carrie had the obsession.
Remember the "I Carry Your Heart" poem? It’s iconic. But it also papers over the fact that he moved to Paris without telling her and then got engaged to a 25-year-old named Natasha after knowing her for five minutes. That’s not romance; that’s a red flag the size of Manhattan. Yet, Chris Noth played him with such a magnetic, old-school Hollywood charm that we all kind of forgave him. He was the Cary Grant of the West Village, even when he was being a total jerk.
📖 Related: Why American Beauty by the Grateful Dead is Still the Gold Standard of Americana
The show's creator, Darren Star, famously stated in later interviews that he felt the show betrayed its original premise by having them end up together. Star wanted the show to prove that women don't ultimately find happiness through marriage. But the writers’ room, led by Michael Patrick King, felt that the audience would revolt if Carrie didn't get her man. So, we got the bridge in Paris. We got the "Carrie, you're the one."
Why the Character Worked (And Why He Still Annoys Us)
What made Big different from the "Aidan" type? Aidan Shaw was the guy who fixed your floors and bought you a fountain. He was safe. Big was a challenge.
In the world of the show, Big represented the "unattainable New York." He lived in a high-rise with a doorman. He ate at restaurants where you couldn't get a table. For Carrie, winning Big wasn't just about love—it was about proving she belonged in that elite tier of Manhattan life.
- He was wealthy but never flashy about it.
- His name remained a mystery until the very last second of the series finale.
- He communicated in riddles and jazz references.
That mystery is what kept the "Big" discourse alive for decades. If he had been a regular guy who texted back immediately, the show probably would have ended in Season 2. The friction was the fuel.
But let’s talk about the 2008 movie. Leaving her at the altar? That was the breaking point for a lot of fans. It shifted Big from "emotionally stunted" to "actively cruel." Even though they eventually got married in a courthouse wearing a label-less suit and a vintage suit, the damage was done for a segment of the audience. They saw a woman who had spent ten years shrinking herself to fit into the spaces he left open.
👉 See also: Why October London Make Me Wanna Is the Soul Revival We Actually Needed
The Shock of And Just Like That
Then came 2021. The Peloton. The heart attack.
Killing off Mr. Big in the first episode of the reboot was a massive gamble. It was a "kill your darlings" moment that redefined the entire franchise. For the first time, Carrie Bradshaw had to exist in a world where she wasn't waiting for him to call or change his mind.
It was a polarizing move. Some felt it was a cheap way to create drama, while others saw it as a necessary evolution. Without Big, Carrie was forced to face her own company again. The "Big" era was officially over, and the show shifted from a romantic comedy to a meditation on grief and "what comes next."
The real-world controversy surrounding Chris Noth shortly after the premiere further complicated the character's legacy. It made it almost impossible to look back at the original series with the same nostalgia. Suddenly, those "charming" scenes in the limousine felt a lot different to a modern audience.
Comparing the Contenders: Big vs. The Field
If you ask any fan who Carrie should have ended up with, you’ll get a three-hour lecture.
✨ Don't miss: How to Watch The Wolf and the Lion Without Getting Lost in the Wild
- Aidan Shaw: The favorite for people who value stability and turquoise jewelry.
- Jack Berger: The cautionary tale of what happens when a man is intimidated by your success (and a Post-it note).
- The Russian (Aleksandr Petrovsky): The reminder that "grand romance" can often be incredibly isolating.
Big always came out on top because he was the only one who matched Carrie’s specific brand of New York cynicism. They shared a language. When they were on, they were the coolest people in the room. When they were off, they were a car crash.
Actionable Takeaways for the Modern Viewer
Watching Sex and the City in 2026 is a different experience than watching it in 1998. The cultural "rules" for relationships have shifted. Here is how to navigate the Big/Carrie legacy without losing your mind:
- Watch for the subtext, not just the romance. Big is a character study on how power dynamics function in dating. If you feel frustrated by his behavior, that’s actually the point of the writing.
- Acknowledge the flaws. You can enjoy the chemistry between the actors while admitting the relationship was often unhealthy. It’s okay to like "problematic" TV.
- Look at the fashion as characterization. Big’s wardrobe never changed. He was the "classic" that Carrie—the woman of a thousand trends—was always trying to pin down.
- Research the writers. To truly understand Big, look into the real-life "Bigs" the writers dated in New York. The character was based on Ron Galotti, a high-profile magazine executive. Knowing the real-world inspiration helps ground the character's more absurd moments.
The debate over Mr. Big will likely never end because he represents a universal experience: that one person who felt like "home" even when the house was on fire. He was the ultimate New York accessory—expensive, complicated, and hard to get.
Next Steps for the Super-Fan
To get the full picture of the character's impact, track down the original columns by Candace Bushnell. The "Big" in her books is even more cynical and less "heroic" than the one Michael Patrick King put on screen. Understanding that transition from page to screen explains why the TV version feels so much more sympathetic despite his many, many mistakes. You can also listen to the "Origins" podcast by James Andrew Miller, which features deep-dive interviews with the cast about how the Big/Carrie dynamic was constructed behind the scenes.