Let’s be real. When people talk about movies with sex scenes, the conversation usually hits one of two extremes. It’s either treated like a scandalous tabloid headline or dismissed as "gratuitous" filler. But if you actually sit down with a cinematographer or an intimacy coordinator, you realize that filming these moments is about as unsexy as doing taxes. It’s technical. It’s awkward. It’s also one of the most misunderstood parts of modern filmmaking.
The industry is currently in a weird transition period. We’ve moved past the "anything goes" era of the 90s and 2000s, landing in a space where consent and choreography are the new standards. It’s not just about the "steam factor" anymore. It’s about why a director decides that a specific moment of intimacy is the only way to tell a character's story. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it’s just a marketing gimmick.
The Rise of the Intimacy Coordinator
For decades, actors were basically told to "figure it out" on set. That’s a nightmare. Imagine being told to simulate the most private act of your life in a room with a boom mic operator, a lighting tech, and a director who’s shouting about the framing. It was a recipe for disaster and, frankly, a lot of workplace trauma that went unaddressed for far too long.
Enter the intimacy coordinator.
This role became standardized largely because of the MeToo movement and the advocacy of actors like Alicia Rodis and Ita O'Brien. Their job isn't to be the "fun police" on set. Instead, they act like a stunt coordinator. They map out the movements. They ensure everyone is wearing the proper barriers—like silicone patches or "modesty garments." If you’ve seen a movie with sex scenes made in the last four years, chances are an intimacy coordinator was the one making sure nobody actually touched in a way that felt violating.
HBO was one of the first major studios to mandate this role for every production. It changed the vibe on sets like Euphoria and House of the Dragon. Actors have started speaking out about how much of a relief this is. Sydney Sweeney has been vocal about how having a professional present allowed her to feel in control of her body while portraying highly vulnerable moments. Without that structure, the power dynamic on a film set can get real dark, real fast.
Why Some Movies With Sex Scenes Feel "Necessary" and Others Don't
There is a huge difference between Portrait of a Lady on Fire and a random 80s slasher flick. One uses intimacy to build a bridge between two characters who can’t speak their truth aloud. The other uses it to check a box for a specific demographic.
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Audiences are getting smarter. You can’t just throw in a bedroom scene and expect people to stay engaged. In fact, there’s a growing "anti-sex" sentiment among Gen Z viewers. Data from the UCLA Center for Storytellers and Scholars suggests that a significant portion of younger audiences actually find sex scenes in movies to be boring or unnecessary. They want plot. They want friendship. They want "found family."
The "A24" Aesthetic
Look at how a studio like A24 handles it. In Moonlight, the intimacy is quiet, fumbling, and heavy with the weight of years of repressed identity. It’s not about the mechanics of the act; it’s about the release of tension. That is where movies with sex scenes actually find their value. When the scene serves as a narrative climax—not just a physical one—it sticks with the viewer.
But then you have the blockbuster side of things. Think about the Marvel Cinematic Universe. For over a decade, the MCU was almost entirely "sexless." When Eternals finally featured a brief intimate moment between Ikaris and Sersi, it felt... weird? It didn't fit the brand. It felt like the movie was trying to wear a "grown-up" suit that didn't quite fit. That’s the risk. If you haven’t built the emotional groundwork, the physical stuff just feels like an interruption.
The Technical Side Nobody Tells You About
It’s all tape and skin-colored patches. Seriously.
If you’re watching a movie with sex scenes, you’re looking at a massive amount of "modesty gear." We’re talking about C-strings that are essentially stuck on with medical-grade adhesive. There are "merkins" (look it up, it’s a whole thing). There are even "modesty pillows"—thin, flesh-colored cushions placed between actors to prevent any actual genital contact.
Then there’s the lighting. These scenes are often shot in "closed sets," meaning only the essential crew members are allowed in the room. But even then, the actors are covered in "sweat" (usually a mix of glycerin and water) and are likely freezing because sets are kept cold to protect the equipment.
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- Closed Sets: Only the Director, DP, and Intimacy Coordinator.
- The "Socks": Yes, male actors often wear what is colloquially known as a "cock sock." It’s exactly what it sounds like.
- The Edit: Most of what is filmed never makes it to the screen. Directors often cut these scenes down significantly to maintain a specific rating (R vs. NC-17).
The goal is to create an illusion of heat while the reality is more like a low-impact wrestling match.
The NC-17 Barrier and the "Death of the Erotic Thriller"
We don't see movies like Basic Instinct or Fatal Attraction in theaters much anymore. Why? Because the middle-budget movie is dead.
The film industry is currently split. On one end, you have $200 million spectacles. On the other, you have $5 million indie darlings. The $40 million erotic thriller—the primary home for movies with sex scenes—has largely moved to streaming or vanished entirely. Studios are terrified of the NC-17 rating because it means most theaters won't carry the film and you can’t advertise it on major platforms.
Even Netflix's Blonde faced massive scrutiny for its rating. It’s a commercial kiss of death. So, filmmakers self-censor. They trim the edges. They make things "safe" enough for an R rating so they can actually get a return on investment. This has led to what some critics call the "sanitization of cinema." We are seeing less human bodies on screen even as we see more violence. It’s a strange paradox.
How to Tell if a Scene is Actually "Good" Storytelling
Critiquing these moments requires looking past the surface. You have to ask: Does this change the character?
In Normal People (yes, it’s a show, but it’s the gold standard here), the sex scenes are the dialogue. The characters are bad at talking, so they communicate through touch. You learn more about Connell and Marianne’s power dynamics in those scenes than you do in their actual conversations.
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Contrast that with a "gratuitous" scene. If you can cut the scene out of the movie and the plot still makes 100% sense, it’s probably just there for the trailer.
Common Misconceptions
- "They must be actually doing it." No. Almost never. Except for a tiny handful of "unsimulated" art-house films (think Nymphomaniac or Shortbus), it’s all choreography.
- "It's easy to film." It’s actually the most stressful day for most crews.
- "Actors love it." Most actors describe it as the part of the job they tolerate to get to the "real" acting.
Real World Actionable Insights for the Viewer
If you’re someone who follows film or even an aspiring filmmaker, understanding the mechanics of movies with sex scenes changes how you consume media.
First, pay attention to the credits. Look for the "Intimacy Coordinator" credit. If it's missing on a modern film, that's often a red flag regarding the production's culture. You can also tell a lot about a director's vision by how they frame these scenes. High-angle, detached shots usually imply a sense of voyeurism or clinical observation. Close-ups that focus on hands, faces, or breathing—rather than "the action"—usually aim for emotional resonance.
Second, support the "middle" movies. If you want better, more mature storytelling that doesn't shy away from human intimacy, you have to watch the mid-budget dramas. The reason we get fewer of these films is that we stopped buying tickets for them, opting for the comfort of familiar franchises instead.
Third, recognize the difference between "erotica" and "cinematic intimacy." One is designed for a specific physical response; the other is designed to reveal a character's soul. When a film manages to do both without being exploitative, it’s a genuine feat of direction.
Next time you see a headline about a "steamy" new release, look past the clickbait. Look at who directed it, who coordinated it, and whether the actors felt safe. That’s where the real story is. The "sex" part is just the tip of the iceberg in a very complicated, very human process of making art.