You probably think you know the story. You get the card, you book the brunch, you buy the flowers, and you hope the restaurant doesn't lose your reservation. But honestly, Mother’s Day in the US is way weirder and more intense than the Hallmark version suggests. It wasn't actually started by a greeting card company looking to move inventory. It was started by a woman named Anna Jarvis who eventually spent her entire life savings and her sanity trying to destroy the very holiday she created. She ended up getting arrested at a Mother's Day festival because she was protesting the sale of carnations. Think about that for a second.
It’s huge business now. In 2025, Americans spent over $35 billion on the holiday. That is a massive jump from just a decade ago. People are spending on jewelry, high-end dinners, and "experience gifts" like spa days or weekend trips. But beneath all that cash flow, the day carries a heavy emotional weight that varies wildly depending on who you ask. For some, it’s the best day of the year. For others, it’s a day to stay off social media entirely.
The Brutal History You Weren't Taught
Anna Jarvis didn't want you to buy a gift. Seriously. Her mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, had been a community activist in West Virginia who organized "Mothers' Day Work Clubs" to improve sanitary conditions and lower infant mortality. When the elder Jarvis died in 1905, Anna wanted a day to honor the private, domestic sacrifices mothers make for their families. She succeeded in getting Woodrow Wilson to sign it into law in 1914. But almost immediately, the "florist industrial complex" took over.
Jarvis was livid. She hated the pre-printed cards. She felt that if you couldn't be bothered to write a personal, handwritten letter to your mother, you were basically a lazy person. By the 1920s, she was crashing conventions and threatening lawsuits. She died in a sanitarium, penniless and bitter, because she couldn't stop the commercialization of her tribute. Today, when we look at Mother’s Day in the US, we see exactly what she feared—a massive commercial machine—but we also see the community spirit her mother originally championed.
How We Actually Celebrate Today
It’s the second Sunday in May. Mark it down. If you forget, you’re in trouble. Most families stick to the classics. Flowers remain the titan of the industry. The white carnation was the original symbol (Anna’s favorite), but now it's mostly roses, lilies, and tulips. Fun fact: Mother’s Day is the busiest day of the year for the restaurant industry. If you haven't booked your table by mid-April, you’re probably eating at a drive-thru or hovering over a stove yourself, which kind of defeats the purpose.
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Phone traffic spikes too. Historically, it’s one of the highest-volume days for long-distance calls. Even in the era of WhatsApp and FaceTime, people still want that voice-to-voice connection. It’s also a massive day for jewelry. We aren't just talking about "Mom" lanyards anymore. We are talking about birthstone necklaces, "push presents" for new moms, and high-end tech.
The Rise of the "Other" Moms
The definition of a mother has expanded. Thankfully. People now use the day to celebrate aunts, grandmothers, foster moms, and even "pet moms." According to various consumer surveys, a significant portion of Mother’s Day spending now goes toward women who aren't the biological parents of the gift-giver. It’s become a broader celebration of "caregiving" rather than just a biological milestone. This shift has made the holiday more inclusive, but it also adds more names to your shopping list.
The Economics of the Second Sunday in May
Money talks. The National Retail Federation (NRF) tracks this stuff like a hawk. Every year, the numbers go up. We see billions spent on electronics—think tablets or smartwatches—as "practical" gifts. Then there's the "pampering" category. Personal services like massages and facials have seen a double-digit percentage growth in recent years.
Why do we spend so much? Guilt? Maybe. But mostly, it’s because the US culture places a heavy emphasis on the "Supermom" trope. There’s a societal pressure to compensate for the unpaid labor mothers do throughout the year with one big, expensive gesture. It’s a bit of a lopsided trade-off, but it’s the one we’ve collectively agreed upon.
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The Dark Side of the Algorithm
For some people, Mother’s Day in the US is a minefield. If you've lost a parent, or if you're struggling with infertility, the constant barrage of "World's Best Mom" emails is exhausting. Brands are finally starting to catch on. Over the last few years, major retailers like Etsy and various flower delivery services have started sending "opt-out" emails. They let you skip the Mother's Day marketing cycle without unsubscribing from everything. It’s a small, empathetic move in a world that usually prioritizes clicks over feelings.
What Actually Makes a Good Mother's Day?
If you ask actual mothers—not the people selling the gifts—the answers are usually simpler than a diamond necklace. Most surveys suggest that "quality time" and "a break from chores" rank higher than physical objects. A 2023 survey showed that a significant number of moms just wanted a nap or a meal they didn't have to cook or clean up.
There’s a disconnect. The gift-giver wants a "trophy" gift to show effort. The recipient wants a "relief" gift to lower stress. If you’re planning something, maybe lean into the latter.
Why the Date Changes
People get confused by this. It’s not a fixed date like Christmas. It’s always the second Sunday in May. This means it can fall anywhere between May 8th and May 14th. This "floating" holiday structure is common in the US for things like Thanksgiving or Labor Day, and it’s designed to ensure it always lands on a weekend. It gives the economy a guaranteed three-day-style bump, even if it’s not a federal holiday where people get Monday off.
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Mother's Day Around the Globe vs. the US
Don’t confuse the US version with Mothering Sunday in the UK. That happens in March and has religious roots involving "mother churches." In the US, it was always more of a secular, civic tribute. Mexico celebrates on a fixed date, May 10th, regardless of the day of the week, and it’s often a much more boisterous affair with serenades and multi-generational parties. The US version is a bit more focused on the nuclear family unit—brunch with the kids and maybe a quick visit to the grandparents.
Actionable Steps for a Better Mother's Day
Stop overthinking the gift and start thinking about the "friction." Most mothers handle the "mental load" of the household—the scheduling, the grocery lists, the knowing where the lost shoes are. To make Mother’s Day in the US actually meaningful, you need to remove that load for 24 hours.
- Audit the Mental Load: Don't ask "What do you want for dinner?" That's a question that requires her to make a decision. Instead, say "I have made a reservation at [Place] for 6:00 PM, or I can pick up [Favorite Food]. Which sounds better?"
- The Opt-Out Rule: If you know someone who finds the day difficult, don't ignore them, but don't force a celebration. A simple "Thinking of you today" text is enough.
- Handwritten Still Wins: Anna Jarvis was right about one thing. A pre-printed card with someone else’s poem is a bit weak. Write three specific things you appreciate about her. It costs zero dollars and she will keep it forever.
- Book Early: If you’re going the traditional route, the "Mother’s Day tax" is real. Prices for bouquets often spike 20-30% in the week leading up to the holiday. Order your flowers at least two weeks out to lock in better rates and ensure they actually have stock.
- Experience Over Items: Instead of a candle she won't light, book a class she’s mentioned or a museum pass. Memories generally have a longer "happiness shelf life" than physical goods.
The reality of the holiday is that it’s a mix of genuine sentiment and aggressive marketing. You can’t really escape the latter, but you can definitely prioritize the former. Whether you’re celebrating a biological mother, a mentor, or yourself, the goal should be recognition of the invisible work that keeps the world turning. Just don't wait until the Saturday night before to find a card. You'll be staring at an empty shelf and a lot of regret.