You've probably heard the word thrown around in a heated Twitter thread or a documentary about the darker corners of the internet. Misogyny. It’s a heavy, jagged word that refers to the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. But when you flip the script, things get weirdly complicated. People usually scramble for a direct antonym and come up empty-handed or settle on "misandry," which isn't quite right because it just swaps the target of the hate.
So, what is the opposite of misogynist in a way that actually makes sense?
If we’re talking strict linguistics, the answer is philogynist. It’s a clunky, academic-sounding term that almost nobody uses in real life. While a misogynist harbors a deep-seated resentment toward women, a philogynist is someone who likes, respects, and admires women. But language is rarely just about dictionary definitions. In our current culture, the "opposite" might not be a single word at all. It’s often a set of behaviors, a political stance like intersectional feminism, or simply the absence of prejudice.
Honestly, the search for this word reveals a lot about how we view gender. We have a very famous word for hating women, but the word for actively liking and respecting them feels like a trivia answer.
The Greek Roots: Philogyny vs. Misandry
To understand the linguistic flip side, we have to look at the Greek prefixes. Miso- means hate. Philo- means love or affinity. Thus, the philogynist. It’s the same root you find in "philosophy" (love of wisdom) or "philanthropy" (love of humanity).
Historically, this term hasn't always been a compliment. Back in the 18th and 19th centuries, some thinkers used "philogyny" to describe men who were overly obsessed with women or who "worshipped" them in a way that was actually quite patronizing. It wasn't about equality; it was about puting women on a pedestal, which is just another way of separating them from the rest of humanity.
Then there is misandry. This is the one people usually jump to. If misogyny is the hatred of women, misandry is the hatred of men. While it is a grammatical opposite, it isn’t a functional one in terms of social dynamics. Sociologists like Allan G. Johnson, author of The Gender Knot, argue that because we live in a patriarchal framework, the "hate" doesn't carry the same weight. Misogyny is backed by systemic power; misandry, while it certainly exists on an individual level, lacks that same institutional "oomph."
Why we don't use "Philogynist" at parties
Can you imagine? You're at a bar and someone says, "Yeah, Mark is a total philogynist." People would think he has a weird medical condition.
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The word feels dusty. It feels like it belongs in a Victorian novel. Instead, we use terms like "feminist," "ally," or even just "decent human being." But even "feminist" isn't a perfect synonym. Feminism is a political and social movement aimed at equality. You can be a philogynist—someone who genuinely loves and admires women—without necessarily engaging in the political work of feminism. Conversely, you could technically be a feminist who is purely driven by a sense of justice rather than a specific "affinity" for women as a group.
The Problem with "Benevolent Sexism"
Here’s where it gets sticky. Sometimes, what looks like the opposite of misogyny is actually just misogyny in a tuxedo.
Psychologists Peter Glick and Susan Fiske coined the term "benevolent sexism." This is the idea that women are fragile, pure creatures who need to be protected and adored. On the surface, it looks like "loving" women. It feels like the opposite of the guy who yells slurs on Reddit. But it's still rooted in the idea that women are different, weaker, or less capable of agency.
A true philogynist, in the modern sense, would have to reject this. They wouldn't just "love" women as an abstract concept or a group of "fairer" beings. They would respect them as individuals with the same range of flaws and strengths as anyone else.
If you're looking for the true opposite of a misogynist, you're looking for someone who views gender as a non-factor in a person's inherent value. It’s not just "not hating." It’s a proactive recognition of humanity.
Real World Examples and Nuance
Let's look at history. Men like John Stuart Mill, who wrote The Subjection of Women in 1869, are often cited as early examples of the "opposite." He didn't just "like" women; he argued logically that the legal subordination of one sex to the other was wrong and a hindrance to human improvement.
In modern pop culture, we see this evolution in how "male allies" are portrayed. Think of someone like Patrick Stewart, who has been incredibly vocal about domestic violence and the need for men to check their own behaviors. He isn't just "not a misogynist." He is actively working against the structures that misogyny builds.
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But wait.
Is the opposite of a misogynist just a "nice guy"? Not necessarily.
The "Nice GuyTM" trope is actually a classic example of hidden misogyny. This is the person who is kind to women only because he expects a reward—usually romantic or sexual. When that reward isn't granted, the mask slips, and the misogyny pours out. The true opposite of a misogynist doesn't have a transactional relationship with their respect for women. They don't need a "reason" to be decent.
The Semantic Scale
If we were to map this out, it wouldn't be a simple binary. It's more of a spectrum:
- Misogynist: Active hatred/prejudice.
- Sexist: Believes in inherent hierarchy, even if not "hateful."
- Apathetic: Doesn't care, doesn't notice.
- Fair-minded/Egalitarian: Treats everyone the same, ignores gender.
- Feminist/Ally: Proactively supports equality.
- Philogynist: High admiration and affinity for women.
What Most People Get Wrong
Most people think the opposite of a misogynist is just a "feminist man."
That's a bit of a shortcut. While most men who aren't misogynists would agree with feminist principles, the term "opposite" suggests a mirror image. If a misogynist is defined by an emotional and psychological bias against women, then the true opposite is someone with a bias toward the empowerment and valuing of women.
Interestingly, some radical feminist spaces have argued that there is no "opposite" because the current system is so tilted. They'd argue that until the playing field is level, any "pro-woman" stance is just a necessary corrective measure, not a bias in the other direction.
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Actionable Insights for Navigating the Terminology
If you’re trying to use this information in the real world—whether you’re writing an essay, having a debate, or just trying to be a better person—here is how you should actually apply these concepts.
First, stop looking for a single-word "gotcha." Language is a tool, not a trap. If you call someone a "philogynist," you’re going to spend twenty minutes explaining what it means. If you call them an "egalitarian," you’re being more precise.
Second, check for "benevolent sexism" in your own life or the lives of those around you. Ask yourself: Am I respecting this woman because she is an individual, or am I "honoring" her because I view her as part of a protected class? The latter is often just a softer version of the thing you’re trying to avoid.
Third, look at the "misandry" argument with a grain of salt. While it’s the linguistic opposite, using it as a "what about" in discussions concerning misogyny usually shuts down productive conversation. Understanding that misogyny is a systemic issue rather than just a personal "mood" is key to understanding why its opposite is so hard to pin down.
How to be the "Opposite"
If you want to embody the actual opposite of a misogynist, it’s about unlearning.
- Audit your media. Who are the experts you listen to? If they are all men, you’re absorbing a subtle bias.
- Listen more than you speak. In spaces where women are discussing their experiences, the "opposite" of a misogynist isn't the guy explaining why they're wrong—it's the guy taking notes.
- Call it out. Misogyny thrives in "locker room talk" and private jokes. Being the opposite means making those spaces uncomfortable for the bigots.
Basically, the opposite of a misogynist isn't a word you find in a dictionary. It’s a way of moving through the world. It’s the constant, often quiet work of seeing women as full, complex, and entirely equal human beings, without the need for a special label or a gold star.
Start by noticing how often you use gendered shortcuts in your own head. When you see a woman in a leadership role, is your first thought about her competence or her "vibe"? When a woman is angry, do you think she’s "unstable" or do you wonder what she’s angry about? Flipping those internal scripts is the most "opposite" thing you can do. It’s not flashy, but it’s real. It’s not just a word; it’s a practice.