They are the ultimate "will-they-won't-they" that actually never did. Or did they?
Honestly, if you’ve spent any time on the internet in the last two decades, you’ve probably seen a photo of Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak looking devastatingly cozy on a red carpet. It’s a specific kind of vibe. They aren't just friends; they’re "romantically charged camaraderie with loud arguments." That’s Mindy’s own description, by the way. It basically sums up twenty years of Hollywood's most confusing, endearing, and exhausting situationship.
People want them to be together. Like, really want it. But the reality is way more nuanced than a simple "dating" or "not dating" label. It’s a 20-year-long conversation that hasn't ended yet.
The Office: Where the Chaos Began
They met in 2004. Both were 24. Both were hired as writers and actors for The Office. Imagine being stuck in a writers' room for 14 hours a day with someone who is just as smart, just as ambitious, and just as stubborn as you are. It’s a recipe for either a lifetime bond or a restraining order. For them, it was both—minus the legal papers.
Their real-life drama was so intense that the showrunners literally wrote it into the script. Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard weren't just characters; they were a funhouse-mirror version of Mindy and BJ. They’d have these massive, door-slamming fights in the writers' room, then go back to their desks and continue the argument over AOL Instant Messenger.
🔗 Read more: Emma Thompson and Family: What Most People Get Wrong About Her Modern Tribe
It was messy. It was toxic. It was young love in a pressure cooker. They dated on and off from roughly 2004 to 2007, but even "dating" is a loose term. BJ once told Vulture that no one, including them, ever really knew if they were "on" or "off." They were just... together. Always next to each other, even when they weren't speaking.
The Godfather and the Paternity Rumors
Fast forward to now. Mindy Kaling is a powerhouse mogul with three kids: Katherine, Spencer, and baby Anne. And here is where the internet goes absolutely feral. Mindy has never revealed the identity of her children's father. She’s a single mom by choice, and she’s kept that part of her life under a heavy-duty lock and key.
Who is the godfather to all three? BJ Novak.
He’s not just a "holiday visit" godfather. He’s at her house once a week. He’s the one who dresses up as Santa and worries that her oldest daughter might recognize his voice. The kids call him "Uncle FoFo." When Mindy got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in early 2025, BJ was right there, kissing her on the forehead and giving a speech that made everyone in the audience misty-eyed.
💡 You might also like: How Old Is Breanna Nix? What the American Idol Star Is Doing Now
Naturally, the world thinks he’s the biological father. Mindy knows this. She told Marie Claire that the rumors don’t bother her. She basically said that if people find the idea titillating, they can go right ahead and think it. It doesn't change her happiness.
Why the "Secret Dad" Theory Sticks
- The Proximity: He is a staple in her household. He isn't just a friend; he is family.
- The Timing: The "best friend" transition happened right around the time she decided to start her family.
- The Devotion: He hasn't publicly had a serious, long-term partner in years, until very recently.
Is BJ Finally Moving On?
For the first time in a long time, there’s a new name in the mix. Reports surfaced in 2025 that BJ Novak is dating Delaney Rowe, the actress famous for her "insufferable female lead" TikTok sketches. They’ve been spotted at the Bowery Hotel and various after-parties.
Does this mean the "Soup Snake" era is over? Probably not.
Mindy and BJ have a bond that seems to transcend traditional dating. In 2025, Mindy went on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert and admitted she hasn't even had a crush on anyone in ages. She’s focused on her three kids and her massive slate of shows, like the upcoming Running Point. BJ is part of that infrastructure. Whether he has a girlfriend or not, he is "embedded" in Mindy’s life.
📖 Related: Whitney Houston Wedding Dress: Why This 1992 Look Still Matters
The "Soup Snake" Reality Check
If you’re waiting for a wedding announcement, you might be waiting forever. Mindy has been pretty clear: she’s not "holding a candle" for him anymore. She loved him when she was 24, and she probably would have said yes if he’d asked her to marry him back then. But they grew up. They realized they work better as this weird, indefinable unit than as a traditional couple.
They are the "Original Situationship." They proved that you can have a soulmate who isn't your spouse. It’s a "romantically charged camaraderie" that survived the end of their show, the birth of three children, and the relentless scrutiny of the public.
How to Apply the "Mindy & BJ" Logic to Your Own Life
If you have a "complicated" person in your life, look at how these two handle it. They stopped trying to force the relationship into a box (Boyfriend/Girlfriend) and just let it be what it is.
- Define your own terms. Don’t worry if your relationship status wouldn't make sense on Facebook.
- Prioritize the "Family" aspect. If a romance fails, the friendship doesn't have to. But it takes work—and a lot of shared history—to get to the "Godfather" stage.
- Keep the private stuff private. Mindy's refusal to comment on her kids' paternity is a masterclass in setting boundaries. You don't owe anyone an explanation for how your family is built.
Ultimately, Mindy and BJ are a reminder that some connections are just "natural and eternal," as BJ once put it. They might never walk down the aisle, but they’ll probably be arguing over a script or a holiday dinner for the next forty years. And honestly? That’s almost better than a happy ending. It’s a real one.
Keep an eye on their social media for the next red carpet appearance—they usually drop more "lore" when they're together in person. If you're looking for a deep dive into their creative chemistry, revisit the episodes of The Office they wrote together; the "Ryan and Kelly" episodes are basically their public diary from 2005.