If you think about Meg Ryan When Harry Met Sally, your brain probably jumps straight to a deli table and a fake orgasm. It’s the scene that defined a decade. But honestly, focusing only on that one moment is kind of a disservice to what actually happened on that set in 1989.
The movie didn’t just make Meg Ryan a star. It basically invented the modern romantic comedy template. Before this, rom-coms were often goofy or slapstick. This was something else. It was messy. It was talkative. It was cynical.
You’ve probably heard the story a million times, but the "I'll have what she's having" line? That wasn't even in the original script. In fact, most of the magic that makes us still talk about this movie thirty-five years later came from a series of accidents and last-minute pivots.
The Casting Gamble That Almost Didn't Happen
Imagine a world where Sally Albright is played by Molly Ringwald.
It almost happened. Director Rob Reiner was actually looking at the "Brat Pack" queen for the role. He also considered Elizabeth Perkins and Susan Dey. Meg Ryan wasn't even the first choice; she was just an actress who had done Top Gun and a few smaller projects like D.O.A. But when she walked into the audition, something clicked. Casting director Jane Jenkins recalls that after Ryan left the room, Reiner immediately told her to cancel all other auditions. He just knew.
Harry Burns was even harder to cast. Reiner was terrified of hiring his best friend, Billy Crystal. He was worried that working together would ruin their friendship if the movie flopped. He met with everyone—Albert Brooks, Tom Hanks, Richard Dreyfuss, Michael Keaton.
Brooks turned it down because he thought the script felt too much like a Woody Allen rip-off. Honestly? He wasn't entirely wrong about the vibe, but he missed the heart. Eventually, Reiner gave in. The chemistry between Crystal and Ryan wasn't just "acting." They were genuinely feeding off each other's energy, which is why so many of the best moments feel so raw.
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Why Meg Ryan When Harry Met Sally Still Works
The movie asks one central question: Can men and women be friends without sex getting in the way?
It’s a simple premise. But the execution was revolutionary.
- The Script was a Mirror: Nora Ephron wrote the screenplay by basically acting like a reporter. She interviewed Rob Reiner about his miserable life as a divorcé. Harry is essentially Reiner; Sally is a mix of Ephron and her friends.
- Real People, Real Stories: Those "How We Met" interludes between scenes? Those aren't scripted actors' improvisations. They are real stories from real couples that Reiner interviewed. He hired actors to recreate them, but the words are authentic.
- The Improv Factor: That scene at the Metropolitan Museum of Art where they use funny voices? Pure improvisation. If you watch closely when Harry talks about "pecan pie," you can see Meg Ryan look off-camera toward Rob Reiner. She was genuinely confused and trying not to break character. They kept it in because it felt real.
The movie also famously changed its ending. Originally, Harry and Sally were supposed to walk away and never see each other again. Ephron thought that was the "true" ending. But while filming, Reiner fell in love with his future wife, Michele Singer. His new happiness changed his perspective on the characters. He decided they had to end up together.
The Katz’s Deli Secret
We have to talk about the deli scene. Most people think it was Nora Ephron’s idea.
Nope.
It was actually Meg Ryan who suggested that Sally should actually demonstrate the "fake" orgasm rather than just talk about it. She realized the conversation needed a punchline. Billy Crystal then added the cherry on top by suggesting a customer should react.
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The woman who says "I'll have what she's having" is Estelle Reiner—Rob's mother. She was paid the SAG minimum and ended up delivering the most famous line in comedy history.
The Cultural Shift
Before Meg Ryan When Harry Met Sally, women in comedies were often just the "love interest." Sally Albright was different. She was high-maintenance—and proud of it. She had specific orders for her salad dressing. She was neurotic. She was a professional.
She gave women permission to be complicated.
The movie also tackled the reality of the "post-sexual revolution" dating world in a way that felt grounded. It didn't rely on a ticking clock or a "save the bakery" plot. It relied on two people walking through New York City and talking.
It's actually pretty wild that the movie even got made. At the time, studios were terrified of "talky" movies. Crystal recently said he doesn't think the movie would be greenlit today because it lacks a "high concept" hook. No superheroes. No multiverse. Just two people and some pastrami.
Legacy and Reality
In 2022, the Library of Congress selected the film for preservation in the National Film Registry. It’s officially "culturally significant."
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But beyond the awards, the movie’s real legacy is in how we talk about relationships. We still use the term "high maintenance" because of this film. We still debate the "can friends be friends" question at dinner parties.
Interestingly, Ryan and Crystal have very different takes on the movie's central question today. Ryan insists that men and women can absolutely be platonic friends. Crystal is a bit more like Harry; he thinks it’s "difficult" because men are basically "stray dogs."
How to Revisit the Magic
If you’re looking to capture that 1989 feeling, you can still visit the real locations.
- Katz’s Delicatessen: They still have a sign hanging over the table where the scene was filmed. It says: "Where Harry Met Sally... Hope you have what she had!"
- Washington Square Park: This is where Sally drops Harry off at the beginning. It looks almost exactly the same, minus the Twin Towers in the background.
- The Metropolitan Museum of Art: Head to the Temple of Dendur. It’s the backdrop for their "pepper on my paprikash" walk.
- Cafe Luxembourg: The spot where they tried to set each other up with their best friends (who ended up falling for each other instead).
The movie isn't just a nostalgia trip. It’s a masterclass in screenwriting and chemistry. Meg Ryan didn't just play a character; she created a prototype for every romantic lead that followed.
To truly understand the impact, watch it again but ignore the big "moments." Look at the way they look at each other during the quiet parts. Look at the way Sally orders her food. That’s where the real genius lives.
Next time you're in New York, grab a pastrami on rye at Katz's. Sit at the table. Just maybe skip the performance. The staff has seen it a thousand times.
Actionable Insights for Movie Lovers:
- Watch the "Special Features": If you can find the 35th-anniversary commentary, Reiner and Crystal explain exactly which jokes were stolen from their real-life phone calls.
- Visit the Locations Early: Places like Katz's and Cafe Luxembourg are iconic but get packed. Go on a weekday morning to actually get "the table."
- Study the Dialogue: If you're a writer, analyze how Ephron uses "the argument" to build intimacy. It’s the gold standard for subtext.