Everyone in 1953 expected a bloodbath. When 20th Century Fox announced that Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall would co-star in How to Marry a Millionaire, the gossip columns practically had the boxing gloves ready. You had Marilyn, the rising blonde supernova who was notoriously difficult and perpetually late. Then you had "The Look"—Lauren Bacall—a sharp-tongued, no-nonsense pro who didn’t suffer fools. Throw in Betty Grable, the reigning queen of the lot who was technically being "replaced" by Marilyn, and you have a recipe for a classic Hollywood feud.
Except, it didn't happen.
In fact, the reality of the Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall relationship is way more human and, honestly, kinda heartbreaking than the "catfight" narrative the studios wanted to sell. It wasn’t a story of rivalry. It was a story of two women from completely different universes trying to find common ground on a movie set that was making history.
The Tension on the Set of How to Marry a Millionaire
The movie was a massive deal. It was the first film ever filmed in CinemaScope (though The Robe was released first), which meant the actors had to deal with a screen that was suddenly much wider. Bacall, ever the professional, adapted quickly. Marilyn, however, was a different story.
She was terrified.
Marilyn wouldn't move without her acting coach, Natasha Lytess. It drove the directors crazy. Even worse, it drove the other actors crazy. Imagine being Lauren Bacall—a woman who knew her lines, hit her marks, and wanted to get home to her kids—and having to do fifteen takes because Marilyn was looking at her coach behind the camera instead of looking at you.
Bacall later admitted in her autobiography, By Myself, that it was "often irritating." You can see why. If Marilyn didn’t get a nod of approval from Lytess, she’d demand to go again. "Not easy," Bacall wrote. But here's where it gets interesting: Bacall didn't snap.
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Why the Feud Never Started
It’s easy to paint Bacall as the "mean girl" in this scenario, but she was actually the opposite. She and Betty Grable made a conscious pact. They saw how fragile Marilyn was. Instead of freezing her out, they decided to protect her.
"Grable and I decided we’d try to make it easier for her, make her feel she could trust us," Bacall recalled.
That’s a side of Old Hollywood you don't hear about much. Usually, it's all about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford throwing shade. But Bacall realized that Marilyn’s lateness and her "diva" behavior weren't coming from a place of malice or ego. They were coming from pure, unadulterated fear.
The Dressing Room Talk: What Marilyn Really Wanted
One of the most revealing moments between Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall happened away from the cameras. Marilyn wandered into Bacall’s dressing room one afternoon. She wasn't there to talk shop or gossip about the producers.
She wanted to know about Bacall's life.
She asked about the kids. She asked if Bacall was truly happy with Humphrey Bogart. According to Bacall, Marilyn seemed "wistful." She told Bacall that what she really wanted was to be in San Francisco with Joe DiMaggio, eating in "some spaghetti joint."
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Basically, the biggest sex symbol in the world was envious of a "boring" domestic life.
Bacall saw through the Monroe mask. She described Marilyn as "lost" and "self-involved," but importantly, she noted there was "no meanness in her—no bitchery." Marilyn was just a woman who didn't know how to connect with people because she was too busy trying to survive her own fame.
CinemaScope and the Battle for the Screen
Technically, the movie was a trio, but the dynamics were lopsided.
- Betty Grable was the veteran, playing it cool.
- Lauren Bacall was the "brains" and the grounding force.
- Marilyn Monroe was the one the camera couldn't stop watching.
Bacall was smart enough to know that even if she had the best lines, the audience's eyes were going to gravitate toward Marilyn. There’s a specific scene where they’re all modeling—the fashion show sequence. Marilyn is wearing these thick glasses because her character, Pola, is blind as a bat but too vain to wear them. It’s a comedic masterclass.
Bacall watched this and recognized the "magic." She noted that the minute the camera turned on, Marilyn became this "incredible creature." It’s a rare thing for an actress of Bacall’s stature to admit that a co-star just had it in a way no one else did.
What Most People Get Wrong About Them
The biggest misconception is that they were "work friends" who stayed in touch. They weren't. After the film wrapped, they drifted. Bacall’s life was centered around the "Bogie" inner circle—the Rat Pack, heavy hitters, and serious theater. Marilyn moved toward the Actors Studio, Arthur Miller, and eventually, a downward spiral that everyone knows too well.
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But that brief window in 1953 gave us a glimpse of a different Marilyn. She wasn't just a "zombie," as producer Nunnally Johnson once called her. Through Bacall’s eyes, we see a woman who was "nice" but afraid to trust.
Key Lessons from the Monroe-Bacall Dynamic
If you're looking for what we can actually take away from their time together, it’s not just about movie trivia. It’s about how to handle high-pressure environments with difficult people.
- Empathy over ego: Bacall could have made Marilyn’s life a living hell. She had the power and the wit to do it. She chose to be a "pro" instead.
- Recognize the source of the "difficult": Bacall realized Marilyn’s behavior was about insecurity, not a power trip. That changed how she reacted to the delays.
- Professionalism is the ultimate weapon: Bacall stayed ready for every take. By being the stable one, she ensured the movie actually got finished.
The Final Verdict on Their Friendship
So, were they best friends? No.
Were they enemies? Definitely not.
They were two icons who respected the "racket" of Hollywood. When you watch How to Marry a Millionaire now, you aren't seeing three women competing. You're seeing a genuine chemistry that shouldn't have worked on paper but did because Bacall and Grable decided to hold the door open for Marilyn.
What you should do next:
If you want to see this dynamic in action, go back and watch the 1953 premiere footage. You'll see Marilyn in her rhinestones looking like a goddess, and Bacall right there with her, looking like the only person in the room who actually knew the girl behind the glitter.
For those wanting to dive deeper into Bacall's perspective, I highly recommend picking up her autobiography By Myself. It’s probably the most honest account of what it was like to work with the "Monroe phenomenon" without the sugar-coating of modern biographers.
Also, keep an eye out for the fashion show scene in the movie—specifically the "diamonds are a girl's best friend" joke. It was a meta-nod to Marilyn's other big 1953 hit, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and the look Bacall gives her is pure, unscripted gold.