In 2013, a single essay in The New York Times sent the internet into a tailspin. Maria Bello, the powerhouse actress known for Coyote Ugly and A History of Violence, basically reinvented the "coming out" narrative before "sexual fluidity" was a buzzword people used at brunch. She didn't announce she was gay. She didn't say she was leaving men behind forever. Instead, she introduced the world to Clare Munn.
Honestly, people still get the details mixed up. Was it a scandal? Not really. Was it a lifelong commitment? Well, it was a profound one, but as with many things in Bello’s life, it defied the boring, standard labels we usually slap on celebrity relationships.
The Garden Moment That Changed Everything
The story actually starts in a garden. Bello was recovering from a grueling illness—a recurring theme in her life where physical breakdown leads to spiritual clarity—and her son, Jackson, started asking about her romantic life. Most parents might hedge. Maria Bello went to her journals.
She realized the person she was happiest with, the one who made her laugh until her ribs ached, was her best friend. That was Clare Munn.
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At the time, Munn was a Zimbabwean-born tech entrepreneur and media executive. She wasn't an actress looking for a spotlight. She was the woman in the fedora at the bar who had an immediate, "soul-mate" level connection with Bello. For years, they were just friends. Best friends. Then, they chose to be something else.
Why the "Whatever" Label Still Matters
Bello famously called herself a "whatever." It sounds dismissive, but it was actually a radical act of honesty. She was 46. She had a son with her ex-partner, Dan McDermott. She had been engaged to men. She was simply stating that her heart didn't follow a straight line (pun intended).
- They lived as a "Modern Family" long before it was a TV trope.
- Dan, Clare, Maria, and Jackson often had dinner together.
- There was no "messy" divorce or public spat.
The partnership with Clare Munn was built on what Munn calls "Communication Quotient" (CQ). Munn is a literal expert in this. She founded companies like the CQ Matrix to help people communicate better. It’s kinda poetic that a woman whose entire career is based on "intelligent exchange" would be the one to help a famous actress navigate such a public shift in identity.
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What Happened to Maria Bello and Clare Munn?
If you’re looking for a dramatic breakup story, you’re going to be disappointed. By early 2016, reports surfaced that the two had split.
Relationships are fluid. Bello has said this a thousand times. They didn't "fail"; they evolved. Following the split, Bello was briefly linked to Elijah Allan-Blitz, who, interestingly enough, was a mutual friend of both women. There was no bad blood. No "tmz" style shouting matches.
By 2019, Bello found a new kind of "rad" love with world-renowned French chef Dominique Crenn. They got engaged in Paris and eventually married in a beautiful ceremony in Mexico in May 2024.
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The Legacy of a "Modern Family"
So, where is Clare Munn now? She remains a titan in the tech and social impact world. She’s the CEO of BoxPlay and has worked as an executive producer on Oscar-nominated films like The Square. She’s still disrupting the way we think about education and communication.
The takeaway from the Maria Bello and Clare Munn era isn't about "who dated whom." It's about the fact that you can change your mind. You can change your life at 45, 50, or 60.
Bello and Munn proved that a "breakup" doesn't have to be an ending. It can just be a transition into a different kind of partnership. They showed us that the most important relationship you have is the one where you can be your 100% unfiltered self—whether that’s in a bed or across a dinner table with your ex and your kid.
Your Personal "Modern Family" Roadmap
If you're inspired by how these two handled their public and private lives, here is how you can apply those "fluid" lessons to your own world:
- Audit your labels. Ask yourself if the way you describe your life (single, married, straight, career-driven) actually fits who you are today, or if you're just using those words because they're easy.
- Prioritize "CQ" over ego. Like Munn teaches, focus on how you're receiving and giving information in your relationships. Most "scandals" are just bad communication.
- Embrace the "Whatever." Give yourself permission to not have an answer for everything. It’s okay if your life looks a little messy to people on the outside as long as it feels right on the inside.
- Redefine partnership. If a romantic relationship ends, evaluate if the friendship is worth saving. It takes work, but the "Modern Family" model proves it’s possible.