Margot To All The Boys: Why We Still Can’t Agree On The Older Covey Sister

Margot To All The Boys: Why We Still Can’t Agree On The Older Covey Sister

Honestly, if you grew up as the "responsible" sibling, you probably saw yourself in Margot Covey. Or maybe she just made you feel incredibly guilty for not having your life together by age eighteen. When To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before hit Netflix back in 2018, everyone was obsessed with Peter Kavinsky’s pockets and Lara Jean’s scrunchies. But looking back, it’s Margot to All the Boys fans—the ones who actually analyze the family dynamic—who realize she was the most complicated character in the whole trilogy.

Margot is the eldest of the three "Song Girls." She’s the one who stepped up after their mom died. She basically became the manager of the household. She kept their dad on schedule, made sure the kitchen was clean, and somehow managed to be a National Merit Scholar while dating the boy next door, Josh Sanderson.

The Margot Problem: Is She Actually "Mean"?

There is a huge divide in the fandom about how Margot treats Lara Jean. Some people think she’s a total boss who just wants the best for her sisters. Others? They think she’s kind of a control freak.

In the first movie and book, Margot breaks up with Josh right before she leaves for college in Scotland. Her reasoning is simple: their mom always said you shouldn't go to college with a boyfriend. She wanted a clean break. It was logical. It was efficient. It was... extremely cold if you’re Josh.

When the secret love letters get mailed out and Lara Jean’s secret crush on Josh comes to light, Margot’s reaction is intense. She feels betrayed. This is where the debate gets spicy. A lot of viewers felt Margot was being a bit hypocritical. She had already dumped Josh! But for Margot, it wasn't about the boy. It was about the sisterly pact.

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Why Janel Parrish Was the Perfect (and Controversial) Choice

Janel Parrish played Margot in all three films. If you recognize her, it’s probably because she played the legendary Mona Vanderwaal in Pretty Little Liars.

Some book purists weren't sold on her at first. In Jenny Han’s novels, Margot is only two years older than Lara Jean. Janel Parrish is actually about nine years older than Lana Condor in real life. You can sort of see it on screen; Janel has this "adult" energy that makes Margot feel more like a third parent than a sister.

But honestly? That actually works for the character. Margot had to grow up too fast. She didn't get to be the "quirky" one like Lara Jean or the "spunky" one like Kitty. She had to be the anchor. Janel brought a certain weight to the role that made the "Song Girls" bond feel real.

The Big Differences Between the Book and Movie

If you’ve only watched the Netflix movies, you’re missing some of the grit. Book Margot is a bit sharper.

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In the books, the tension between the sisters after Margot finds out about the Josh letter lasts way longer. It’s not just one conversation and a hug. There’s a real sense of "the pedestal has fallen." Lara Jean spent her whole life trying to be as perfect as Margot, and when she finally "messes up," Margot doesn't know how to handle it.

  • The Scotland Factor: In the movie, Margot’s life in Scotland is mostly seen through Skype calls. In the books, her distance feels like a physical ache for the family.
  • The Sex Pact: This was cut from the movies, but in the books, the sisters had a pact about when they would lose their virginity. When Lara Jean finds out Margot broke that pact with Josh, it changes everything. It humanizes Margot, but it also makes Lara Jean realize her "perfect" sister is just a person.

Margot To All the Boys: The Evolution of the Song Girls

By the time we get to Always and Forever, Margot has evolved. She’s no longer the one hovering over everyone. She’s living her life in London/Scotland, and she’s the one encouraging Lara Jean to choose the college she actually wants, even if it’s far away.

It’s a beautiful full-circle moment. The girl who left home to be independent finally gives her younger sister the "permission" to do the same.

What We Can Learn From Margot Covey

Margot isn't the "fun" sister. She’s not the one getting the grand romantic gestures or the viral TikTok edits. But she is the reason the Covey house functioned.

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The biggest takeaway from the Margot to All the Boys storyline is that loyalty isn't about being perfect. It’s about being there when the "letters" hit the fan. Margot was the first one to help Lara Jean when the video of her and Peter in the hot tub went viral. She dropped her anger because her sister needed her.

If you're looking to revisit the series, pay attention to the background details in the Covey kitchen. You'll see Margot's influence everywhere—from the organized pantry to the way the girls handle their father's dating life. She's the blueprint.

To really understand the character, you should:

  1. Re-read the first book to see the "pact" storyline that the movies missed.
  2. Watch Janel Parrish’s interviews about how she modeled the role after her own relationship with her sister.
  3. Contrast Margot's rigidness with Kitty's chaos to see how the "middle child" (Lara Jean) was shaped by both.

Margot might be the most misunderstood character in the series, but she’s the heart of the "Song Girls" for a reason. Without her, Lara Jean never would have had the foundation to find her own voice.