It happens. Maybe you’re at a crowded bar in the Lower East Side, the music is vibrating through your ribcage, and suddenly you’re locked in a heavy session with someone whose last name you don't even know. Or maybe it’s a music festival. It’s dark. You’re sweaty. Making out with random people is one of those universal human experiences that people rarely talk about with any real nuance. Most of the time, it’s written off as "drunken mistakes" or "young people being reckless." But honestly? It’s more complex than that.
Human connection is weird. Sometimes we want the whole package—the dating, the parents, the shared Netflix password—and other times, we just want the friction and the dopamine of a five-minute encounter with a stranger. It’s visceral.
The Chemistry of the Random Hookup
Why do we even do this? It isn't just about the alcohol, though a few margaritas definitely lower the "should I really be doing this?" barrier. Evolutionarily speaking, we are wired to seek out genetic diversity. There’s this concept called the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC). It’s a set of genes related to the immune system. Studies, like the famous "Sweaty T-Shirt" study by Claus Wedekind, suggest that we are actually attracted to the scent—and by extension, the taste—of people whose immune systems are different from ours.
When you’re making out with random people, your body is basically performing a high-speed biological audit. Your saliva is packed with information. Within seconds of a lip-lock, your brain is processing whether this person is a viable biological match. It’s a chemical cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline. It’s a rush.
But let’s be real. It’s also about the ego. There is a specific, undeniable ego boost that comes from being desired by someone who knows absolutely nothing about you. They don’t know you’re bad at taxes or that you haven't folded your laundry in three weeks. In that moment, you are just a magnetic presence in a dark room.
The Risk Factor Nobody Wants to Hear
I hate to be the one to bring the vibe down, but we have to talk about the physical reality. Saliva is a carrier. Most people think about STIs in terms of "full" sex, but making out with random people carries its own set of biological luggage.
💡 You might also like: Why a lotus flower tattoo on the back is more than just a trend
- Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV-1): This is the big one. Most people have it, and a lot of them don't know it because they’re asymptomatic. It’s easily passed through kissing.
- Mono: The "kissing disease" is a cliche for a reason. Epstein-Barr virus can knock you sideways for a month.
- Streptococcus: Ever wonder why you get a sore throat three days after a night out?
- Meningococcal disease: Rare, but it can actually be transmitted through deep kissing.
It’s not just about the germs, though. It’s about the "ick." The morning-after realization that you don’t actually like that person’s vibe can be a heavy hit to your mental health if you're not in a good headspace.
The Social Script of the "Random" Makeout
Society has these weird, unwritten rules about where this is acceptable. If you do it at a wedding, it’s "scandalous." If you do it at a nightclub, it’s "Tuesday."
There’s a power dynamic involved too. Usually, one person initiates. Consent in the world of making out with random people is often non-verbal, which is where things get dicey. A lean-in, a look, a hand on the waist. But here’s the thing: "no" can be non-verbal too. Pulling away, turning the head, or just a general "stiffness" in the body should be treated as a hard stop. You’d be surprised how many people ignore these cues because they think a "random" encounter doesn’t require the same respect as a formal date. It does.
Does it actually lead anywhere?
Rarely. Let’s be honest.
Most people who engage in making out with random people aren't looking for a spouse. They’re looking for a moment. However, I’ve heard plenty of stories of "we met at a dive bar, made out for an hour, and now we’ve been married for ten years." Those are the outliers. Usually, you swap numbers, send one "hey" text the next day that goes unanswered, and you both move on with your lives.
And that’s okay. Not every interaction needs a sequel.
👉 See also: I Get It From My Mama: Why This Phrase Is More Than Just a Cute Instagram Caption
Alcohol: The Great Catalyst (and Problem)
We can’t talk about this without talking about booze. Alcohol inhibits the prefrontal cortex. That’s the part of your brain that handles logic, decision-making, and "is this a bad idea?" signals. When you're making out with random people while intoxicated, you aren't exactly making a choice; you’re following an impulse.
The problem arises when the alcohol level is so high that memory goes out the window. If you can’t remember the person’s face, did you actually enjoy it? Probably not. You just chased a feeling.
There is also the safety aspect. If you’re a woman, or a marginalized person, making out with a stranger in a public place carries a different level of risk. You have to be aware of your surroundings. Who are they with? Are your friends watching? Is this person encroaching on your space in a way that feels predatory rather than playful?
Trust your gut. If the "vibe" feels off even slightly, pull back. Your intuition is faster than your conscious thought.
The Mental Aftermath: Regret vs. Empowerment
Why do some people feel great after a random hookup while others feel like trash? It usually comes down to "sociosexual orientation." This is a psychological scale that measures how comfortable you are with sex and intimacy outside of a committed relationship.
If you have a "restricted" orientation, making out with random people will probably leave you feeling empty or anxious. You need the emotional connection to enjoy the physical one. If you have an "unrestricted" orientation, you see the kiss as a fun, isolated event. No harm, no foul.
Neither is wrong. But knowing which one you are is vital. If you keep doing it and keep feeling bad the next day, stop. You’re trying to force yourself into a social script that doesn't fit your internal wiring.
Why Gen Z is doing it less
Interestingly, statistics show that younger generations are actually having less "random" physical contact than Millennials or Gen X did at their age. A 2023 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior suggests that Gen Z is more cautious about health, more focused on "intentionality," and, honestly, more tired. The "hookup culture" that was so prevalent in the early 2000s is shifting. It’s becoming more about "situationships"—which are their own brand of messy—and less about the anonymous bar makeout.
✨ Don't miss: Worst property tax states: What Most People Get Wrong
How to Do It Without Ruining Your Life
If you’re going to go out and engage in making out with random people, there are ways to do it that don't end in a crisis or a clinic visit.
Check the vibe. Is this person actually into it, or are they just being polite? If they aren't leaning in, don't push it.
Watch your drink. This is basic safety, but it bears repeating. Never leave your drink unattended.
Know your limits. If you’re spinning, you shouldn't be kissing. You should be drinking water and finding a cab.
Be honest with yourself. Are you doing this because you’re lonely, or because it’s actually fun? If it’s the former, the kiss won't fix the loneliness. It’ll just highlight it.
The Practical Steps for Next Time
- Hydrate and Prep: Keep some mints or gum on you. Nobody wants to taste the cigarette you had 20 minutes ago or the onions from your dinner.
- The Consent Check: Even in a loud club, a quick "Is this okay?" or a physical pause to look for an enthusiastic "yes" in their eyes goes a long way.
- The Exit Strategy: You don't owe anyone anything. If the kiss is bad—and let’s face it, many random makeouts are—you can just stop. "I'm gonna go find my friends" is a perfectly valid sentence.
- The Health Check: If you’re making this a regular part of your social life, get tested for STIs regularly. Yes, even if you’re "just" kissing. It’s part of being a responsible adult in the modern world.
- Boundaries: Decide before you go out what your "hard line" is. If you only want to make out and not go home with someone, tell yourself that before the first drink hits. It’s much easier to stick to a plan you made when you were sober.
Making out with random people is a staple of the human social experience. It’s messy, it’s sweaty, it’s occasionally gross, and it’s sometimes the most alive you’ll feel all week. Just keep your head on straight and your eyes open.
Understand that the thrill is often in the anonymity, but the risk is in the lack of information. Balance the two. Enjoy the rush, but don't let the rush make your decisions for you.
Actionable Insights for Navigating Random Encounters
- Audit your motivations: Before heading out, ask yourself if you're seeking validation or genuine fun. Validation-seeking usually leads to "post-makeout blues."
- Establish a "Wing" System: Ensure at least one friend knows where you are and who you are with if you decide to move to a different area of the venue.
- Prioritize Dental Hygiene: It sounds clinical, but maintaining a healthy oral microbiome can actually reduce your risk of picking up minor infections during casual contact.
- Post-Night-Out Care: If you’ve been making out with strangers, a saltwater gargle or antiseptic mouthwash isn't a bad idea to reduce the bacterial load you just inherited.
- Reflect on the "Ick": If you feel a sense of regret, don't bury it. Analyze what triggered it—was it the person, the setting, or the loss of control? Use that to set better boundaries for next time.
Making out with random people doesn't have to be a source of shame or a health hazard if you approach it with a mix of spontaneity and common sense. Pay attention to the non-verbal cues, keep your wits about you, and remember that you always have the right to change your mind mid-breath.