You’re 30,000 feet in the air. The plane engine is humming that low, rhythmic drone that makes everything feel a bit surreal. You look out the tiny, scratched plexiglass window and see them—massive, fluffy, "ice cream castles" stretching toward the horizon.
That is exactly where Joni Mitchell was in 1967. She was reading Saul Bellow's Henderson the Rain King, specifically a passage where the protagonist looks down at the clouds from a plane. Joni looked up from the page, peered out her own window, and the seeds for the lyrics clouds Joni Mitchell fans have obsessed over for decades were planted right then and there.
Honestly, it’s wild to think she was only 23 when she wrote "Both Sides Now." Most 23-year-olds are just trying to figure out how to pay rent or get over a bad breakup. Joni was already dismantling the very nature of human perception.
The Literal and Metaphorical Clouds
The song starts with that iconic imagery: angel hair, ice cream castles, feather canyons. It's the stuff of childhood dreams. When we’re kids, clouds are just pretty shapes. They don't have consequences. But then the song shifts. Suddenly, those same clouds "block the sun" and "rain and snow on everyone."
Basically, Joni is telling us that the thing itself hasn't changed—the cloud is still just a cloud—but our relationship to it has. From the ground, it's a nuisance that ruins your picnic. From the air, it’s a majestic landscape. You’ve seen it from both sides, but somehow, that just makes it more confusing.
Why the "Illusions" Matter
The chorus hits you with a realization that feels kinda heavy: "It’s cloud illusions I recall / I really don’t know clouds at all."
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Think about that. After seeing the beauty and the gloom, after seeing it from above and below, she admits she doesn't actually know what a cloud is. She only knows the "illusions" she’s projected onto them. This isn't just about weather patterns. It's the framework for how she views love and life in the following verses.
- Clouds: Up and down
- Love: Give and take
- Life: Win and lose
She uses the cloud as a Trojan horse to talk about the trauma of her early 20s. People often forget that when she wrote this, she had recently gone through the absolute ringer: a failed marriage to Chuck Mitchell and the heart-wrenching decision to give her daughter up for adoption.
The Evolution of a Masterpiece
The lyrics clouds Joni Mitchell penned in her youth took on a whole new ghost-like quality later in her life. There’s a massive difference between the 1969 version on the album Clouds and the 2000 orchestral version.
In '69, her voice is high, clear, and folk-infused. There’s a certain "wistful" energy there, but it still sounds like someone looking forward at a long road ahead.
Fast forward to 2000. Her voice has deepened—cured by years of cigarettes and life. When she sings "I really don't know life at all" at age 57, it doesn't sound like a poetic observation anymore. It sounds like a hard-earned truth. It’s the sound of someone who has actually lived through the "win and lose" and come out the other side realizing that certainty is a myth.
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Covering the Uncoverable
A lot of people actually heard Judy Collins’ version first. It was a hit in 1968, but Joni famously wasn't a huge fan of it. She felt it was a bit too "sugary" for the weight of the lyrics.
Then you’ve got the 2003 film Love Actually. Emma Thompson’s character discovers her husband is cheating while the 2000 version of "Both Sides Now" plays. It’s perhaps one of the most devastating uses of a song in cinema history. The lyrics about "love's illusions" suddenly aren't abstract—they're the literal floor falling out from under a marriage.
What Most People Get Wrong
There’s a common misconception that "Both Sides Now" is a cynical song. People hear "I really don't know life at all" and assume it's a surrender to hopelessness.
It’s actually the opposite.
Acknowledging that you don't "know" something is the beginning of wisdom. It’s an embrace of complexity. Joni isn't saying life is bad; she's saying life is too big to be categorized into simple bins of "good" or "bad." The clouds are both the angel hair and the rain. You can't have the "ice cream castles" without the "snow on everyone."
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Actionable Insights for the Modern Listener
If you’re looking to truly appreciate the depth of Joni’s "Clouds" era, don't just stream the hits.
- Listen Chronologically: Play the version from the 1969 album Clouds first. Then immediately put on the 2000 version from the album Both Sides Now. Feel the weight of the time between those two recordings.
- Read the Source Material: Pick up a copy of Saul Bellow’s Henderson the Rain King. Seeing the specific passage that triggered her imagination helps you understand her process as a "painterly" songwriter.
- Journal Your Own "Both Sides": Think of something in your life you used to view with total innocence that now feels complicated. How has your "illusion" changed?
Joni Mitchell didn't just write a song about weather. She wrote a map of the human heart that we’re all still trying to navigate. Whether you’re looking up at the sky or down from a plane, the clouds are always changing—and so are we.
Next Steps for Deepening Your Understanding
To truly grasp the technical brilliance behind Joni's songwriting, explore her "open tunings" on the guitar. She didn't play in standard EADGBE; she created entirely new harmonic landscapes to match her lyrics. You can find detailed tuning charts for the song "Both Sides Now" on her official website's library section, which tracks every tuning used across her discography.
Additionally, watch her 2024 performance at the Grammys or her 2022 Newport Folk Festival set. Hearing her sing these words in her 80s adds a final, profound layer to the "Both Sides" narrative. It is the ultimate testament to a life lived without the need for easy answers.