Look forward to: Why Everyone Uses This Phrase Wrong

Look forward to: Why Everyone Uses This Phrase Wrong

Ever feel like your emails sound a little... robotic? You’re staring at the screen, hovering over the "Send" button, and you realize you've used the same sign-off four times today. Honestly, we’ve all been there. You want to sound professional but not stiff, and that's usually when the phrase look forward to makes its grand entrance. It feels safe. It’s the khakis of the English language.

But here’s the thing: most people accidentally trip over the grammar or, worse, use it in ways that make them sound totally insincere. If you've ever wondered about the actual meaning of look forward to, it’s basically an expression of positive anticipation. You’re saying that a future event is going to bring you pleasure or satisfaction. Simple, right? Well, not quite. English is a chaotic mess of rules, and this specific phrase is one of its favorite traps.

The Grammar Glitch Everyone Makes

Let's get the boring—but necessary—stuff out of the way first. Grammar.

Most of us were taught that "to" is always followed by a base verb. You want to run. You need to eat. So, naturally, your brain thinks you should say, "I look forward to meet you."

Wrong. In this specific phrase, "to" isn't part of an infinitive; it’s a preposition. Prepositions need objects. In English, when you want a verb to act like an object (a noun), you slap an "-ing" on the end. This is called a gerund. So, the correct way—the only way that won't make an editor cringe—is "I look forward to meeting you."

It feels weird. I get it. Saying "I look forward to hearing from you" sounds slightly clunkier than "I look forward to hear from you" to the untrained ear, but the former is the mark of someone who actually knows their way around a sentence. If you use the base verb, you're basically telling the reader you haven't brushed up on your syntax since third grade.

Why We Use It (and When to Stop)

We use it for everything. Job interviews. Coffee dates. Dental appointments (though that one is usually a lie).

The meaning of look forward to shifts depending on the vibe of the conversation. In a business setting, it’s a polite closer. It signals that the ball is in the other person's court and you’re ready for the next step. In a personal letter, it’s warmer. It’s an "I miss you and can't wait to see your face."

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But let’s be real: sometimes it’s just filler.

If you’re "looking forward" to a performance review with a boss who hates you, everyone knows you’re lying. It becomes "corporate-speak." In those moments, the phrase loses its teeth. According to linguist Deborah Tannen, who has spent decades studying conversational style, the way we use these "phatic" expressions—words that perform a social function rather than conveying information—is crucial for maintaining relationships. If you stop using them, you seem cold. If you overwork them, you seem fake.

The Subtle Art of Variation

If you're tired of sounding like a LinkedIn bot, you've got options. You don't always have to rely on the standard "I am looking forward to."

Change the tense. "I look forward to" (Present Simple) feels a bit more formal and permanent. "I'm looking forward to" (Present Continuous) feels more immediate and personal. It’s the difference between a tuxedo and a nice blazer.

If you want to ditch the phrase entirely because it feels too "customer service," try these instead:

  • "Can’t wait to catch up." (Super casual, use with friends).
  • "I’m excited about our meeting on Tuesday." (Direct and energetic).
  • "Counting down the days until the trip!" (High enthusiasm).
  • "I'll see you then." (Minimalist, cool, efficient).

Context is King

Think about the British. They use "looking forward" constantly, but often with a level of politeness that masks true intent. In a 2017 study by YouGov on British "code-switching," it was found that phrases like "I hear what you say" often mean "I disagree and do not want to discuss it further." While look forward to is generally more literal, in a tense negotiation, it can sometimes be a polite way of saying "This conversation is over until you provide what I asked for."

Then you have the psychological side of things.

Anticipation is a powerful drug. Research in Psychological Science suggests that the act of looking forward to something can actually provide more happiness than the event itself. We call this "positive anticipation." When you tell someone you’re looking forward to seeing them, you’re actually sharing a bit of that dopamine hit with them. It’s a social gift. You're saying, "Thinking about you makes my brain feel good."

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

  1. The Double "To": Never say "I look forward to to seeing you." It sounds obvious, but people do it in fast typing.
  2. The "Look Forward For": This is a common error for non-native speakers. It’s always "to." Always.
  3. The Over-Promise: Don't say you look forward to something if you're clearly going to cancel. It ruins your credibility faster than a bad Yelp review.

Making It Sound Human

The biggest mistake people make with the meaning of look forward to isn't the grammar—it's the tone. If your entire email is written in stiff, formal language and then you end with "I'm looking forward to the party! LOL!" it's jarring. It’s like seeing a cat in a suit.

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Match your energy.

If it’s a formal cover letter, stay the course: "I look forward to the possibility of discussing my application with you."
If it’s a Slack message to a teammate: "Looking forward to that pizza later."

Notice the dropped "I" in the Slack message? That’s "elliptical speech." It makes you sound like a real person who has things to do, rather than a textbook.

The Future of the Phrase

Languages evolve. A hundred years ago, "look forward to" was much more literal—it meant physically looking toward the horizon. Now, it’s almost entirely mental. In the age of AI and automated responses, these small markers of human connection are actually becoming more important, not less. We need to know there's a person on the other end of the screen who has feelings about the future.

If you want to master the meaning of look forward to, you have to understand that it’s a bridge. It connects the present moment to a future possibility. Use it when you actually mean it, and use the "-ing" form if you want to keep the grammar police off your back.


Actionable Next Steps

  • Audit your "Sent" folder. Look at your last ten emails. If you used "look forward to" in more than five of them, your writing is getting repetitive. Start swapping it out for "I'm eager to" or "Let's talk soon."
  • Check your gerunds. Go back through your active drafts. Find every instance of "look forward to" and make sure the next word ends in "-ing." No exceptions.
  • Match the tense to the person. Switch to the present continuous ("I'm looking forward to...") for people you actually like. Keep the present simple ("I look forward to...") for the IRS or your landlord.
  • Use the "Anticipation Boost." Next time you’re feeling stressed, write down three things you are legitimately looking forward to this month. Science says it'll lower your cortisol.

The phrase is a tool. It's not just a way to end a letter; it's a way to set the stage for what happens next. Use it correctly, and you'll sound like the expert you are. Use it wrong, and you're just another person struggling with a prepositional trap.