Everyone knows Phoebe Buffay. She was the quirky, guitar-strumming heart of Friends who lived in a world of "Smelly Cat" and past-life memories. But the woman behind the character, Lisa Kudrow, lives a life that's surprisingly—and refreshingly—different.
Honestly, while Phoebe's family tree was a messy tangle of long-lost twins, biological mothers hiding in beach houses, and a brother who had triplets with his older teacher, Kudrow’s actual family life is the definition of stability. She’s been married to the same man for nearly thirty years. That’s like a century in Hollywood time.
She doesn’t post a million family photos on Instagram. You won't see her son, Julian, starring in a reality show about "nepo babies." Instead, she’s built a fortress of privacy around her home life in Beverly Hills.
The "Freakishly Polite" Way She Met Her Husband
The story of how Lisa Kudrow and family began is actually a bit awkward. It wasn't love at first sight in a coffee shop. In the late '80s, Kudrow was living with a French roommate. One day, the roommate brought home her new boyfriend, a French advertising executive named Michel Stern.
Kudrow saw him and basically thought, Well, he’s perfect. Too bad I can’t talk to him.
She was so worried about being disrespectful to her friend that she went out of her way to avoid him. "I'm freakishly polite," she once told Daily Mail. Whenever Michel would come over to the apartment to pick up her roommate, Lisa would say a quick "Hi" and then literally run out of the room.
Michel actually thought she was a bit of a freak. He had no idea she was dodging him because she liked him.
They didn't see each other for six years. They finally reconnected at—of all places—that same former roommate’s birthday party. The roommate and Michel had only dated for about two months, and by the time they met again, it was totally fine to grab a drink. They started dating in the early '90s and got married in May 1995, just as Friends was becoming a global phenomenon.
That Time Phoebe Was Pregnant (And So Was Lisa)
If you’re a fan of the show, you remember Season 4. Phoebe becomes a surrogate for her half-brother Frank Jr. and his wife Alice. It was one of the wildest storylines on 90s television.
But it only happened because Kudrow was actually pregnant.
The writers decided to write the pregnancy into the show rather than trying to hide her behind giant cereal boxes and oversized coats. When Phoebe was "carrying triplets," Kudrow was actually carrying her son, Julian Murray Stern.
There’s a really sweet detail about those taping days. The cast of Friends had a famous huddle before every show. When Lisa was pregnant, they would include the baby in the ritual. They’d all huddle up and say, "Have a great show, love you, love you—love you, little Julian!"
Julian was born on May 7, 1998. He grew up on that set, though Kudrow has admitted it wasn't exactly a playground for a toddler. One of the funniest stories is that young Julian used to get confused by the blondes in his life. He spent so much time around Jennifer Aniston that he’d see her on TV and shout "Mommy!"
Raising Julian: No Siblings, No Drama
Julian is an only child, and apparently, that’s exactly how he wanted it. Kudrow has mentioned in interviews that as soon as Julian could speak, he made it very clear he had zero interest in a brother or a sister. He liked being the center of the universe.
And she listened.
Today, Julian is in his late 20s and forging his own path. He graduated from the USC School of Cinematic Arts in 2021. He’s not out there trying to be "the next Phoebe." He’s worked as an editor and an actor on smaller projects like Doomed and That's Hollywood, Baby.
He’s also not a Friends superfan. For years, he didn't even watch the show. Kudrow told Seth Meyers that during the pandemic, Julian finally watched a few episodes while he was sick with COVID. His review? "It’s actually really good, Mom."
High praise from a son who spent his infancy in the wings of Stage 24.
The Kudrow Roots: A Darker History
While Lisa’s immediate family is full of high achievers—her father, Lee, was a famous headache specialist, and her brother David is a neurologist—her extended family history is much more somber.
She’s a woman of deep intellect (she has a biology degree from Vassar, after all), and she used that curiosity to dig into her family’s past for the show Who Do You Think You Are? She traveled to Belarus to trace her Jewish roots and discovered the tragic reality of her paternal great-grandmother, who was murdered during the Holocaust. It’s a far cry from the lighthearted comedy we usually associate with her. Exploring that history changed her. She’s spoken about feeling a deep sense of responsibility to the sacrifices her ancestors made so she could live her life in California.
Why Their Marriage Actually Works
In a town where marriages last about as long as a TikTok trend, Lisa and Michel have stayed together since 1995. There’s no secret "Hollywood trick" to it. Honestly, it sounds more like a business partnership than a rom-com.
Kudrow has said they don't promise to love each other forever because that's "unrealistic." Instead, they promise to work on whatever problems come up. They treat the marriage like a team.
They also value their independence. If Michel wants to go on a golf trip, he goes. Lisa hates traveling, so she stays home. They don’t feel the need to be "one unit" in sync about every single thing.
Maybe that’s the real takeaway here.
Actionable Insights for Fans and Parents:
- Privacy is a Choice: Kudrow proves you can be a massive star and still keep your family out of the tabloids. It’s about setting boundaries early.
- Honesty in Parenting: She didn't force her son to love her work. Letting your kids have their own opinions—even if it's "your show is okay, I guess"—builds a more authentic relationship.
- Marriage is Work, Not Magic: Viewing a long-term relationship as a "commitment to work on problems" rather than a "fairytale feeling" is likely why they’re still together 30 years later.
If you want to keep up with Lisa's career without invading her family's privacy, stick to her official projects like Time Bandits or her production work. She’s always been better at showing us her talent than showing us her living room.