The modern wedding industry is a behemoth, a sparkly, tulle-covered machine that somehow convinced everyone that spending the equivalent of a down payment on a house for a single afternoon of mediocre chicken and loud music is "essential." It's exhausting. Honestly, more and more people are looking at their partners over a Tuesday night pizza and saying, "Let’s just get married." No flowers. No seating charts. No agonizing over whether Great Aunt Martha will be offended by a cash bar.
This isn't just about being "cheap." It's a fundamental shift in how we view commitment in 2026. According to data from various wedding industry trackers like The Knot and Zola, while the "micro-wedding" trend started as a necessity during the pandemic, it has evolved into a deliberate lifestyle choice. People are tired. They’re priced out. They’re realizing that the legal and emotional weight of marriage doesn't actually require a 200-person audience.
The Financial Reality of the "Just Get Married" Movement
Let's talk numbers because they're terrifying. The average wedding cost in the United States has hovered around $30,000 to $35,000 for years, and with inflation hitting every sector from catering to textile manufacturing, that number is only climbing. When you say let’s just get married, you aren't just skipping a party; you’re making a tactical financial decision.
Think about the opportunity cost. If you take $30,000 and put it into a high-yield savings account or a diversified index fund, that money grows. If you put it into a one-day event, it's gone. Poof. Most couples today are grappling with student loans or the impossible hurdle of the housing market. Choosing a courthouse ceremony or a backyard elopement is often the difference between owning a home in three years or owning one in ten.
I spoke with a couple last month, Sarah and James, who spent two years planning a massive "destination-lite" wedding in Vermont. Three months before the date, they looked at their spreadsheet—which had ballooned to $42,000—and felt sick. They canceled everything. They lost about $5,000 in non-refundable deposits, but they saved the remaining $37,000. They went to City Hall on a Friday, had a high-end dinner with four friends, and used the savings to put a payment on a condo in Chicago. They don't regret it. Not for a second.
Why the Psychology of Marriage is Changing
There is this weird, lingering social pressure that a wedding is a "test" of your love's importance. If you don't spend the money, do you even care? That's nonsense.
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Psychologically, the "Let’s just get married" approach reduces a massive amount of pre-marital stress. Clinical psychologists often point out that the year leading up to a wedding is one of the highest-conflict periods for couples. Why? Because you aren't fighting about your relationship; you're fighting about linens, guest lists, and your mother-in-law's expectations. By stripping away the performance, you focus on the person.
- Authenticity over Aesthetics: Social media, particularly Instagram and TikTok, created a "wedding for the feed" culture. But the tide is turning. People are starting to value the privacy of the moment.
- The Second Marriage Effect: Statistics consistently show that second marriages are much more likely to be small, low-key affairs. These couples have "been there, done that" and realized the party didn't make the marriage last. Younger first-timers are simply skipping to that realization.
- Decision Fatigue: We make thousands of choices a day. Deciding between "eggshell" and "ivory" cardstock is a special kind of hell that many people are simply opting out of.
The Legal Logistics: How to Actually "Just Do It"
If you’re serious about saying let's just get married, you need to know that it still requires a tiny bit of paperwork. It’s not quite as instant as it looks in the movies where you just run into a chapel in Vegas—though Vegas is still an option, and it’s surprisingly efficient.
Every state has its own rules. In places like Colorado, you can "self-solemnize," which means you don't even need an officiant or witnesses. You basically sign the license yourself, and boom, you're married. In other states, like New York, you need at least one witness and a registered officiant.
The Simple Step-by-Step
- Get the License First: You usually can't get married the same day you get the license. There is often a 24-hour to 72-hour waiting period.
- Check the Expiration: Licenses aren't forever. They typically expire after 30 to 60 days. Don't get it too early.
- The Officiant: If you aren't doing the courthouse thing, a friend can get ordained online in about five minutes through organizations like the Universal Life Church. It’s legal and free (or very cheap).
- The Filing: This is the part people forget. After the "ceremony," the signed license must be mailed back to the clerk's office. You aren't legally hitched until that paper is processed.
Dealing with the "Family Fallout"
This is the hard part. The reason people don't let's just get married more often is guilt. Parents, especially, often view a child’s wedding as their own social milestone.
You have to be firm. If you decide to elope or have a tiny ceremony, tell people directly. Don't let it leak out through the grapevine. Explain that you value the intimacy of the moment and that you’re prioritizing your future stability over a party.
A popular middle ground is the "Celebration Later" model. You get married at the courthouse now, and maybe a year later, you host a casual backyard BBQ or a dinner at a local restaurant. No white dress required, no formal invitations, just a "hey, we're married, come have a burger" vibe. It satisfies the family's need to celebrate without the $30k price tag.
Misconceptions About Tiny Weddings
People think a small wedding means it isn't "special." That is objectively false. In many ways, a courthouse wedding is more intense. When it’s just the two of you and a judge in a quiet room, the words actually mean something. You aren't performing for a crowd; you're making a promise.
Another myth? That you can't wear the dress. Look, if you want to wear a $5,000 designer gown to City Hall, do it. There are no rules. The whole point of the let's just get married philosophy is that you do exactly what you want and skip everything you don't.
What You Still Need to Spend Money On
Even if you’re skipping the ballroom, don't skimp on a photographer. You will want those photos in twenty years. Even if it's just for one hour to capture the "I dos" and some shots of you two walking down the street with your marriage certificate. It's the one thing everyone regrets not having.
The Long-Term Impact on Your Relationship
There is some interesting, albeit debated, research regarding wedding cost and divorce rates. A 2014 study by professors at Emory University found a correlation between high wedding spending and shorter marriage durations. While "correlation is not causation"—meaning spending money doesn't cause divorce—it suggests that couples who focus more on the wedding than the marriage might be starting off on shaky ground, especially if that wedding puts them in significant debt.
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When you choose to let's just get married, you're starting your life together in the black, not the red. Financial stress is one of the leading causes of marital friction. Starting off without "wedding debt" is one of the best gifts you can give your future selves.
Actionable Steps to Transition from "Planning" to "Just Getting Married"
If you're currently overwhelmed and want to pivot, here is exactly how to do it without losing your mind.
- Review your contracts: See what you can get out of. If you haven't signed the big venue contract yet, stop. If you have, check the cancellation clauses. Sometimes losing a $2,000 deposit is better than spending the other $20,000.
- Pick a "Meaningful-ish" Date: It doesn't have to be a Saturday in June. Pick a Tuesday. Pick the anniversary of your first date.
- Book the Appointment: Most City Halls require an appointment for a marriage ceremony. Some are booked out weeks in advance, so check the website for your local County Clerk today.
- Buy the Rings: You still need these for the ceremony usually. They don't have to be diamonds. Simple gold bands or even silicone rings work.
- Draft the "We Did It" Announcement: Since you aren't inviting everyone, have a nice photo and a digital card ready to send out afterward. People love to feel included in the news, even if they weren't at the event.
Choosing to ignore the wedding industry’s "shoulds" is incredibly freeing. It turns a stressful production back into what it was always supposed to be: a pact between two people. If the thought of a seating chart makes you want to cry, take it as a sign. Just get married. The rest is just noise.
Next Steps for Your Small Wedding:
Check your local County Clerk's website immediately to see their specific requirements for a marriage license. Secure your "intent to marry" paperwork before you buy any outfits or book a restaurant. Once the legal date is set, everything else becomes a secondary detail rather than a primary stressor.