The year was 2016. High-speed internet was a given, but our collective ability to read the room was, apparently, still loading. At the center of one of the weirdest "non-interaction" interactions in Hollywood history were two people who couldn't be more different: Lena Dunham, the creator of Girls, and Odell Beckham Jr., the NFL superstar then playing for the New York Giants.
They sat next to each other at the Met Gala. That’s it. That is the physical extent of the event. But what happened afterward in a newsletter called Lenny Letter became a case study in projection, celebrity ego, and the messy intersections of race and gender.
The Interview That Started the Fire
Lena Dunham sat down with Amy Schumer for a "relaxed" conversation. They were talking about the Met Gala—an event Schumer famously described as "punishment." Dunham, trying to be relatable or funny (it's still hard to tell which), brought up her seating arrangement. She was placed next to OBJ.
According to Dunham, Beckham ignored her. But she didn't just say he was quiet. She went full psychological thriller on his internal monologue.
"It was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, 'That's a marshmallow. That's a child. That's a dog.' It wasn't mean—he just seemed confused."
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Wait, it gets weirder. She continued to tell Schumer that the "vibe" was basically Beckham asking himself if he wanted to sleep with her, deciding "no," and going back to his phone. She basically narrated a whole rejection sequence that happened entirely inside her own head.
Honestly? It was a lot.
Why the Internet Exploded
The backlash was instant and brutal. It wasn't just that she sounded narcissistic; it was the specific way she framed a Black man's silence as a personal slight against her desirability. People on Twitter (now X) were quick to point out that Odell Beckham Jr. probably just... didn't know who she was. Or maybe he was tired. Or maybe he just wanted to look at Instagram in peace while wearing a tuxedo he probably had to return the next day.
Critics pointed out a few major issues:
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- The Assumption of Sexual Interest: Dunham assumed that the only reason a man wouldn't talk to her is because he'd already performed a "sexual audit" and found her lacking.
- The Racial Undertones: There is a long, ugly history of white women making false or harmful assumptions about Black men's intentions. While this was "just" a celebrity anecdote, it tapped into a much deeper, more painful societal nerve.
- The "Marshmallow" Comment: By calling herself a marshmallow and a dog in his eyes, she was projecting her own body insecurities onto a stranger who hadn't said a word to her.
The Apology (And the Clarification)
At first, Dunham tried to laugh it off. She tweeted that her "sense of humor" is what has kept her alive for 30 years. That didn't go over well. The "outrage machine," as she called it, only got louder.
By the next day, the tone shifted. She posted a long apology on Instagram. She admitted to making "narcissistic assumptions" and projecting her own feelings of being a "sack of flaming garbage" at an event full of supermodels. She acknowledged that it was unfair to ascribe "misogynistic thoughts" to someone she didn't know at all.
Most importantly, she addressed the racial component, stating she would never intentionally contribute to the "over-sexualization of Black male bodies" or the history of white women making false accusations.
What Did Odell Beckham Jr. Actually Say?
For a long time, nothing. He was busy. The 2016 NFL season was about to start.
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When he finally did speak to Complex during a party a few days later, his response was the definition of taking the high road. He basically said he didn't have enough information to speak on it and that he never wants "problems with anybody in this world."
He didn't "clap back." He didn't fuel the fire. He just stayed in his lane. It made the original comments look even more out of touch.
The Lasting Lesson of the "Marshmallow" Incident
This wasn't just a "celebrity feud" because, for a feud to exist, both people usually have to participate. This was a one-sided projection. It serves as a reminder that:
- Silence isn't a slight. Someone not talking to you at a party isn't an indictment of your worth.
- Check your lens. We all view the world through our own insecurities, but projecting those onto others—especially across racial lines—can have real-world consequences.
- The Met Gala is awkward. Even for the people we think are the coolest in the room.
If you find yourself at a high-stakes social event feeling out of place, the best move is usually to just ask the person next to you how their night is going. Don't write a script for them. They might just be looking for a way to slip away and grab a burger, too.
Moving forward, the takeaway is simple: give people the benefit of the doubt. Silence is usually just silence, not a secret commentary on your outfit.