Let's be real. If you’ve spent any time on the internet lately, you’ve seen the term everywhere. It’s a meme, it’s a song lyric, and it’s become the shorthand for a specific kind of intensity in the bedroom. But when you strip away the social media bravado, figuring out how to do backshots correctly is actually about a mix of angles, ergonomics, and communication. It isn’t just about "going fast." Honestly, if that's all you're doing, you’re probably missing the point entirely.
The term itself is basically slang for rear-entry penetration, usually while the receiving partner is on their hands and knees or lying flat. It’s popular because it allows for deep penetration and a specific kind of visual connection that a lot of people find incredibly arousing. But there is a huge gap between what you see in a polished video and what actually feels good in a real-life bedroom.
The Physical Mechanics of How to Do Backshots
First, let's talk about the setup. You might think it’s as simple as just "getting behind them," but the angle of the pelvis makes or breaks the experience. If the receiving partner’s back is too arched or too flat, the friction is going to feel off. For the person performing backshots, the goal is often to find that sweet spot where the rhythmic motion aligns with the natural curve of the partner's body.
Most people start in a standard "doggy style" position. Hands and knees. It’s a classic for a reason. However, if you want to elevate the experience, you’ve gotta play with the height. If the receiver drops down onto their elbows, it changes the tilt of the pelvis. This makes the penetration feel deeper. It’s a physics game. Sometimes, even a slight shift of two inches can be the difference between "this is okay" and "this is incredible."
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The rhythm is where most people mess up. They think speed is the only variable. It’s not. It’s about the "snap." When you hear people talking about the sound associated with this position, they’re talking about the impact of the hips. But you have to be careful. You aren't trying to cause bruises; you’re trying to create a consistent, resonant rhythm. Start slow. Build the tension. You want to find a pace that your partner can actually keep up with, rather than just hammering away until someone gets a cramp.
Why Surface Choice Matters
Don't do this on a floor. Just don't. Your knees will hate you, and your partner’s knees will hate you even more. A bed with a decent amount of firmness is usually the best bet, but even then, you might need props. Pillows are your best friend here. If you slide a pillow under the receiver's hips, it can help stabilize the movement and provide a better angle for the person behind.
I’ve talked to people who swear by using the edge of the bed. This allows the person performing to stand up, which gives them way more leverage and control over the power of the thrusts. It also saves your knees from the dreaded carpet burn. If you’re standing, you can use your weight more effectively, which is kinda the whole point of the "backshot" dynamic.
Communication and the "Vibe"
You can’t just jump into this without checking in. Because this position is often associated with more "rough" or "aggressive" play, consent and communication are paramount. You’ve got to know where the line is. Some people love the intensity; others find it overwhelming if it’s not balanced with some intimacy.
Reach around. Grab their hips. Use your hands to guide the motion. It shouldn’t feel like two separate people doing their own thing; it should feel like a synchronized unit. If you’re the one receiving, don’t be afraid to give directions. "Faster," "Slower," "Deeper," or "Tilt left"—these aren't mood killers. They are instructions for a better time. Honestly, the best sex happens when both people are vocal about what’s working.
The Misconception of "Performance"
Social media has ruined our perception of sex. We see these "backshot" memes and think it has to look like a movie. It doesn't. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes someone loses their balance. Sometimes the "sound" doesn't happen because of the sheets or the sweat. That’s fine. The goal is pleasure, not a cinematic masterpiece.
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One thing people rarely mention is the "aftercare" or the transition out of the position. Because it’s high-energy, your heart rate is going to be up. Don't just finish and walk away. Flip over. Reconnect. The physical intensity of backshots needs a comedown.
Improving the Experience Through Technique
If you want to get technical, focus on your core. The power shouldn't just come from your legs; it comes from your hips and lower abs. This is why people who do yoga or strength training often find these positions easier to maintain. If you’re gasping for air after thirty seconds, you might want to work on your stamina.
- The Grip: Hold the hips firmly. This isn't just for show; it helps you control the depth and prevents slipping.
- The Arch: Encourage your partner to find a comfortable back position. Too much arching can lead to lower back pain the next morning.
- The Depth: You don't always have to go "all the way." Varying the depth of the thrusts keeps the nerves firing and prevents the sensation from becoming repetitive or numbing.
- The Sound: Yes, the "slap" sound is a huge part of the appeal for many. It’s caused by skin-on-skin contact. To get it without being painful, focus on the flat part of the thighs and hips meeting.
Safety and Comfort
Let's be practical. If you’re doing this for a long time, use lubrication. Even if you think you don't need it, the friction involved in this specific position can cause irritation quickly. Silicon-based or high-quality water-based lubes are life-savers. Also, keep an eye on your partner's neck and wrists. If they are supporting all their weight on their hands for ten minutes, their joints are going to ache. Suggesting a move to the elbows or laying flat (the "prone bone" variation) can keep the session going longer without discomfort.
Summary of Actionable Steps
If you’re ready to try this or want to improve your technique, here is the blueprint:
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- Adjust the height. Use pillows or the edge of the bed to find an angle that doesn't strain your back or knees. Standing up provides the most power and control.
- Focus on the hips, not just the legs. Use your core to drive the movement. This gives you that "snap" without losing your balance.
- Vary the tempo. Don't just go full speed from the start. Build up to it. Use a mix of shallow and deep movements to keep things interesting.
- Check in constantly. A simple "You good?" or "Like that?" goes a long way when you’re in a position where you can't see your partner's face.
- Prioritize the "After." Once the intensity of the backshots is over, transition into something more intimate to balance out the high-energy physical exertion.
Understanding how to do backshots is really just about mastering the balance between raw physical power and the technical nuances of human anatomy. It’s a skill like anything else. Practice, pay attention to your partner’s body language, and don’t be afraid to laugh if things get a little clumsy. That’s part of the fun. By focusing on the mechanics and the communication, you turn a meme into a meaningful (and very intense) part of your physical connection.