Ever feel like you’re running a marathon on a treadmill that keeps getting faster while the finish line stays exactly ten miles away? That’s basically the vibe of our era. Honestly, it’s exhausting. We keep buying the "self-help" books, chasing the "dream job," and swipe-righting on people who clearly don't want what we want. We do it because we think this time, it’ll work. This is what the late University of Chicago professor Lauren Berlant famously termed cruel optimism.
It’s a bit of a mind-bender, but here’s the gist: optimism isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it’s a trap. Berlant argues that we are often attached to "clusters of promises"—things like a stable career, a picket-fence family, or even just the idea of "social mobility"—that actually make it impossible for us to flourish. We’re holding onto the very rope that’s burning our hands because we’re afraid of what happens if we let go.
The Sticky Trap of the "Good Life"
Berlant's Cruel Optimism, published in 2011, wasn't just some dusty academic theory. It was a autopsy of the American Dream during a global recession. You've probably felt this yourself. You work 60 hours a week for a company that could lay you off via a Slack notification tomorrow, yet you stay "optimistic" about your career path. Why? Because the idea of that career is what gives your life a sense of shape. Without it, who are you?
The "cruel" part kicks in when the thing you desire is actually the obstacle to your well-being. Think about it like this:
- You want financial security, so you take on massive student debt. The debt now prevents you from ever being financially secure.
- You want true love, so you stay in a toxic relationship because "at least I’m not alone." The relationship ensures you never find a healthy connection.
- You want to be healthy, but you're so stressed about "wellness" and "body goals" that the anxiety actually makes you sick.
Optimism, in Berlant’s view, is simply the force that moves you out of yourself and into the world. It’s an attachment to a "scene" of fantasy. But when that scene is built on a crumbling foundation—like neoliberal capitalism or outdated social norms—your attachment becomes a slow-motion car crash. You’re not just hoping; you’re "dogpaddling," as Berlant evocatively put it, in a space where the contours are blurry and the water is rising.
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Why It’s So Hard to Just "Quit"
People often ask, "If it's so bad, why don't you just leave?" Berlant had an answer for that, and it’s pretty empathetic. She argued that these fantasies provide a sense of coherence.
If you admit the "Good Life" is a lie, your world falls apart. The loss of the object (the job, the dream, the relationship) feels worse than the destruction the object is causing you. It’s a double bind. If you stay, you’re worn out. If you leave, you’re unmoored. Most of us choose to be worn out because "unmoored" feels like death.
Crisis Ordinariness: Life in the Impasse
We aren't living in a world of "accidents" anymore. We’re living in crisis ordinariness. This is one of Berlant's most useful concepts for 2026. It means that "crisis" isn't a temporary break from the norm—it is the norm. Inflation, climate change, political polarization—these aren't interruptions. They are the atmosphere.
In this state, we live in an impasse. We’re stuck in a holding pattern. We aren't moving forward, but we aren't exactly stopped either. We’re just... adjusting. Berlant noticed that we’ve become experts at "making do." We find "genres for life"—scripts we follow to pretend things are okay. We scroll through TikTok to numb the "slow death" of the workday. We buy small luxuries because we can't afford a house. We treat these tiny bits of pleasure as "potentiality," but they’re often just ways to stay inside the cage.
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Real-World Messiness
Take the example of "neurological queerness" mentioned in Berlant’s circles. Parents of children with disabilities are often told that if they just try one more therapy or buy one more expensive tool, their child will become "normal." This is cruel optimism. The fantasy of "normalcy" becomes a barrier to actually loving and accepting the child as they are. The pursuit of the "cure" wears the family out, making actual flourishing impossible.
Breaking the Cycle: Is There an Escape?
Honestly, Berlant wasn't big on "five easy steps to fix your life." She was a theorist, not a life coach. But her work hints at a way out. It starts with desire. We have to stop desiring things that hate us.
This isn't about becoming a cynic. It’s about what she called "experimental" living. Instead of following the "Good Life" script, we have to start imagining "otherwise-ness."
What if we stopped caring about "adding up to something"?
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What if we looked for "intimate publics" or "affective solidarity" that didn't require us to be productive or perfect? Berlant’s work encourages us to have "patience with failure." In a world that demands constant "winning," failing to meet the standards of a broken system might actually be the most radical thing you can do.
Actionable Shifts for Your Mindset
If you're feeling the weight of cruel optimism, start by auditing your attachments.
- Identify the "Cluster of Promises": Pick one thing you’re stressed about (your job, a habit, a goal). Ask yourself: "What did this thing promise me when I started?" and "Is it actually delivering that, or is it preventing me from getting it?"
- Acknowledge the Exhaustion: Stop pretending that "hustling" is working. If you're exhausted, it's likely because the system you're attached to is designed to wear you out.
- Find the "Impasse": Where are you just "adjusting" instead of living? Recognizing the impasse is the first step toward moving through it.
- Embrace "Small" Politics: Forget the grand gestures for a second. Look at how you relate to your neighbors, your friends, and your own body. Can you build a "genre" of life that isn't based on consumption or upward mobility?
Berlant’s legacy is a reminder that our "ugly feelings"—the anxiety, the irritation, the boredom—aren't just personal failings. They are data points. They are telling us that the world we’ve built is no longer sustainable for the humans living in it. We don't need more optimism; we need a better version of reality.
To truly engage with Berlant's ideas, try this: next time you feel a pang of "if I only had X, I'd be happy," pause. Look at X. Is it a bridge to your happiness, or is it the wall standing in your way? Sometimes, the most "optimistic" thing you can do is give up on a dream that is killing you.