Sex is usually fine. But fine is boring, right? Most of us hit a point where the standard routine feels a bit like folding laundry—necessary, productive, but not exactly thrilling. That is usually when people start Googling kinky sex things to try, looking for a spark that doesn't involve a trip to the ER or a complete personality transplant.
The word "kink" carries a lot of baggage. People think of dungeons and heavy leather. In reality? It’s just about intentionality. It’s about playing with power, sensation, and the boundaries of what you normally do. You don't need a basement full of equipment. You just need a little curiosity and a partner who isn’t going to judge you for wanting to try something slightly off-book.
Honestly, the biggest hurdle isn't the act itself. It's the "the talk." If you can't talk about it, you probably shouldn't be doing it. But once you get past that initial awkwardness, the world opens up.
Understanding the Spectrum of Kinky Sex Things to Try
Most people think kink is binary. You’re either "vanilla" or you’re "extreme." That’s a lie. Kink is a spectrum, and most of us are hovering somewhere in the middle.
Think about sensation play. This is one of the easiest kinky sex things to try because it relies on the biology of your nervous system rather than complex psychological power dynamics. You’ve got hot and cold. You’ve got rough and soft. According to researchers like Dr. Justin Lehmiller, author of Tell Me What You Want, a huge percentage of the population hallucinates about BDSM-lite activities, yet only a fraction actually try them. Why? Because we’re scared of looking silly.
The Power of Sensory Deprivation
Start small. Blindfolds are the gateway drug of the kink world. When you take away sight, every other sense goes into overdrive. A touch on the inner thigh feels like a lightning bolt. You can use a dedicated silk mask or just a necktie you found in the drawer.
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Then there’s temperature play. Ever tried an ice cube? Run it along their collarbone while they’re blindfolded. The anticipation of where that cold is going next creates a psychological tension that is often more intense than the physical sensation itself. Just don't go grabbing a blowtorch or dry ice. Stick to things that won't cause actual tissue damage.
Impact Play and Why People Like the Sting
Let’s talk about hitting people. Lightly.
Impact play—spanking, slapping, using crops—is about the endorphin rush. When the body feels a sharp sensation, it releases a cocktail of chemicals. It’s the "runner's high" but in the bedroom. If you're looking for kinky sex things to try, starting with a simple palm-to-buttock spanking is the standard entry point.
- The Fleshy Parts Only: Stick to the buttocks or the thighs. Avoid the kidneys, the spine, and the neck. This isn't a street fight; it's a nervous system hack.
- Warm Up First: Don't just start swinging. Start with heavy, slow massages to get the blood flowing to the area. It makes the subsequent impact feel more like a "thud" and less like a "sting," which most people find more pleasurable.
- Check In: Use a traffic light system. Green means keep going. Yellow means slow down or I'm nearing my limit. Red means stop immediately. No arguments. No "just one more." Stop.
Wax Play for the Brave
If you want to level up, look into low-temperature soy candles. Regular paraffin candles from the grocery store will burn the skin. Don't do that. Soy wax melts at a lower temperature. It’s a specific kind of "ooh-ouch-ahhh" that provides a visual and tactile thrill. It’s messy, sure, but that’s half the fun.
The Mental Game: Power Exchange and Roleplay
This is where things get interesting. Kink isn't just about what you do to the body; it's about what you do to the mind. Power exchange—the "D/s" in BDSM—is about giving up control or taking it.
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For some, being the "boss" all day at work makes the idea of being told what to do in bed incredibly liberating. It’s a vacation from responsibility. For others, taking control provides a sense of confidence they might lack in their everyday lives.
Setting the Scene
You don't need a script. You don't need to be a Shakespearean actor. Effective roleplay can be as simple as "the stranger at the bar" or "the boss and the intern." The key is the "negotiation" beforehand.
Discuss the "Hard Limits." These are the things that are absolutely off-limits. No exceptions. Then discuss the "Soft Limits"—things you’re curious about but want to approach with caution. This creates a container of safety. Within that container, you can be whoever you want.
Breathwork and Edge Play
Now, we’re moving into slightly more advanced territory. Breath play is popular but carries genuine risks. It’s one of those kinky sex things to try that requires actual education. If you're interested in this, look into workshops or resources from experts like those at the Kink Academy. Never, ever do this alone, and never use ligatures (ropes or belts) around the neck. Hand-only, and only with a partner you trust implicitly.
Edges are the boundaries between pleasure and pain, or between being in control and losing it. "Edging"—delaying orgasm for as long as possible—is a form of kink that focuses on the psychological torture of wanting something you can't have yet. It builds a level of tension that makes the eventual release feel like a literal explosion.
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Practical Steps for Your First Time
Don't try to do everything at once. Pick one thing. Just one.
Maybe this weekend it’s just the blindfold. Next weekend, maybe it’s a little light impact. Communication is your best tool. Talk about it over dinner, not while you're already in the middle of it. It’s much easier to say "I'd like to try being tied up" over pasta than it is when you're already naked and feeling vulnerable.
- Buy a "Yes/No/Maybe" list. You can find these online for free. Both partners fill them out separately, then compare. It’s a great way to discover overlaps you didn't know existed.
- Invest in quality, not quantity. One good leather paddle is better than ten cheap plastic toys that will break or cause skin irritation.
- Aftercare is non-negotiable. When the "scene" is over, don't just roll over and go to sleep. Kink can be emotionally taxing. Cuddle. Drink some water. Talk about what you liked. This grounds both partners and ensures no one feels "used" or discarded after the high wears off.
Kink is supposed to be fun. If it stops being fun, stop doing it. There's no prize for being the "kinkiest" person in the room. The goal is connection, exploration, and maybe a little bit of sweat.
Start by choosing one "Sensation" and one "Power" element. For example, try a blindfold (sensation) combined with simple commands like "don't move until I tell you" (power). This low-stakes entry point allows you to gauge your partner's reactions without the pressure of a full-scale production. Keep a bottle of water and some chocolate nearby for aftercare, as sugar helps stabilize the system after an adrenaline spike. Focus on the feeling, not the performance.