You probably know Kevin James as the lovable, slightly stressed-out "King of Queens" or the guy dodging pies in Paul Blart: Mall Cop. But off-screen, the man has had one of the sturdiest marriages in Hollywood. Honestly, it’s kinda rare to see a celebrity couple stick together for over two decades without a whisper of tabloid drama. That’s where Kevin James wife, Steffiana de la Cruz, comes in. She isn’t just a "plus-one" on the red carpet. She’s been the secret sauce in his career and his life since they first met back in the early 2000s.
A lot of fans assume they met on the set of his hit sitcom. It makes sense, right? She was in several episodes. But the truth is actually way more "normal" than that. It involves a blind date, an interior decorator, and a whole lot of faith.
How Kevin James and Steffiana de la Cruz Actually Met
Most people think famous people meet at high-profile gala events or on movie sets. Not these two. Kevin James wife, Steffiana, was actually set up with him on a blind date in 2001. The matchmaker? It was reportedly Kevin’s interior decorator. Talk about a solid referral.
Things moved fast. Like, really fast. They were living together within a few months. By the fall of 2003, they were engaged. They finally tied the knot on June 19, 2004, at St. Edward Catholic Church in Dana Point, California. It wasn’t some massive, over-the-top Hollywood circus either. It was a traditional ceremony surrounded by about 180 family members and friends. Oh, and Ray Romano was there, obviously. They had the reception at the Montage Resort in Laguna Beach, which, if you’ve ever been, is basically paradise.
The Career You Didn't Realize She Had
Steffiana isn’t just "the wife." She’s a Filipino-American actress and model who has been working since the late 90s. Before Kevin, she was actually in a long-term relationship with the late Chris Penn (Sean Penn’s brother) for about six years.
Once she and Kevin got together, they started a tradition of her appearing in his projects. It’s like a fun Easter egg for fans. If you go back and watch The King of Queens, she’s not playing just one character. She’s a total chameleon.
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- Season 4: She played a masseuse named Adrienne.
- Season 6: She showed up as Tina.
- Season 7: She was Sue, the woman Deacon was dating.
- Season 9: She played Sienna in the episode "Affair Trade."
She didn't stop at TV. You’ll see her in Paul Blart: Mall Cop as a shopper and then again in the sequel as a character named Kira. She was also in Zookeeper. Basically, if Kevin is the star, there’s a high chance Steffiana is somewhere in the background making the scene better.
Raising a Family in the Spotlight
One of the reasons you don't hear much about Kevin James wife and their kids is because they are incredibly private. Kevin has always been vocal about his Catholic faith, and that seems to be the bedrock of how they raise their four children.
They’ve got quite the crew:
- Sienna-Marie: Born in 2005. She’s the eldest and has already started following in her dad’s footsteps with small roles in Pixels and Hubie Halloween.
- Shea Joelle: Born in 2007. Fun fact: Kevin named her after Shea Stadium because he’s a massive Mets fan. He joked that he gave Steffiana "first dibs" on naming the next one because of that.
- Kannon Valentine: Born in 2011. He’s the only boy. His middle name is a tribute to Kevin’s father and his brother, Gary Valentine.
- Sistine Sabella: The youngest, born in 2015.
Kevin has mentioned in interviews—specifically with People and on late-night shows—that having four kids changed his perspective on work. He wants to make movies his kids can actually watch. He once joked that he was "breeding them for nothing but comedy." It's clear that Steffiana is the one holding down the fort while he’s off being a global comedy icon.
Why Their Marriage Works
Let’s be real: Hollywood marriages usually have the shelf life of a carton of milk. So why are Kevin and Steffiana still going strong after 20+ years?
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It’s the lack of ego. Steffiana seems perfectly content staying out of the "influencer" spotlight. She doesn't have a massive, verified Instagram where she’s selling tea or leggings. She’s there for the premieres, she does her cameos, and then she goes back to being a mom.
Kevin, for his part, treats her like a queen. On their 16th anniversary, he posted a rare selfie of them, basically saying she’s the best thing that ever happened to him. They’ve managed to keep their private life private, which is the ultimate power move in 2026.
Real Talk: The Challenges They've Faced
It hasn't all been red carpets. Like any couple, they've had to navigate the ups and downs of a high-pressure career. When Kevin’s show Kevin Can Wait faced backlash for how they handled the departure of his on-screen wife (played by Erinn Hayes) to bring back Leah Remini, it was a weird moment in the press.
Through it all, Steffiana remained his silent support system. She actually appeared in the Season 2 finale of Kevin Can Wait, proving once again that she’s always in his corner, regardless of the industry noise.
Common Misconceptions About Steffiana
- She's just a stay-at-home mom: Nope. As mentioned, she has a legit acting resume. She just chooses her projects based on what works for the family.
- They met on The King of Queens: As we cleared up, it was a blind date. The show cameos came later.
- She's much younger than him: There’s about a 9-year age gap. Kevin was born in 1965, and Steffiana was born in 1974. In Hollywood terms, that’s practically the same age.
What You Can Learn From Their Relationship
If you’re looking for "relationship goals," this is a pretty good place to start. They don't overshare. They don't use their kids for "content." They seem to actually like each other.
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Actionable Takeaways:
- Keep work and home connected: By having Steffiana do cameos, they get to spend time together even when Kevin is on a grueling filming schedule.
- Privacy is a choice: You don't have to post every meal or every argument. Keeping some things sacred helps maintain the bond.
- Support the pivot: Whether it’s Kevin moving from stand-up to TV to movies, or Steffiana moving from modeling to acting to motherhood, they’ve clearly supported each other's transitions.
The story of Kevin James wife isn't one of scandal or "breaking the internet." It's a story of a normal-ish couple navigating an abnormal industry with a lot of humor and a lot of heart.
To stay updated on Kevin James' latest projects or to see if Steffiana makes another surprise cameo, keep an eye on Kevin’s official social media channels, as that's the only place they ever share glimpses of their life together.
Next Steps:
If you want to see Steffiana's acting range for yourself, go back and re-watch the The King of Queens episodes mentioned above. It’s actually pretty impressive how she plays completely different characters without most viewers even realizing it's the same person.