When you type Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr into a search bar, you're usually looking for one of two things: a decorated military general currently leading a major U.S. Army command, or the tragic figure at the center of one of the most haunting true crime sagas in American history. It is a strange quirk of fate that two men with nearly identical names lived such vastly different lives.
One built a legacy of leadership. The other became a footnote in a "Doomsday" cult investigation.
To understand the man most people are searching for today—the father of Tylee Ryan and the third husband of Lori Vallow—you have to look past the sensationalist "Cult Mom" headlines. Most people think they know the story. They think it’s just about a heart attack in a Phoenix apartment. But the reality of Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr’s life and death is far more layered, messy, and honestly, pretty heartbreaking.
Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr and the Lori Vallow Connection
Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr wasn't always a name associated with true crime. In the early 2000s, he was just a guy who fell for a woman named Lori Norene Cox. They married in 2001. At the time, life probably seemed normal. He adopted her son, Colby, and in 2002, they had a daughter together, Tylee.
But the marriage didn't last. They divorced in 2005, and that’s when things got dark.
If you’ve followed the Vallow-Daybell case, you know the name Alex Cox. He was Lori’s brother. In 2007, Alex Cox actually tasered Joe Ryan and threatened to kill him. He ended up serving 90 days in jail for it. This wasn't some minor family spat; it was a precursor to the violence that would eventually surround the family years later.
Joe Ryan spent much of the next decade in a brutal, exhausting legal battle for custody of Tylee. He even accused Lori of parental alienation. He claimed he hadn't seen his daughter for over a year at one point. It’s a classic, sad story of a father trying to stay in his child's life while the other parent pushes him out.
What Really Happened in Phoenix?
In April 2018, Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr was found dead in his apartment in Phoenix, Arizona. He was 59. At the time, the medical examiner ruled it a natural death—a myocardial infarction, or heart attack.
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Because he lived alone and wasn't discovered for about a week, there wasn't a huge investigation. He was cremated. End of story.
Or so it seemed.
Fast forward to 2019 and 2020. Tylee Ryan and her half-brother J.J. Vallow go missing. Lori Vallow and her new husband, Chad Daybell, are suddenly under a microscope. When Tylee’s remains were eventually found on Chad’s property, people started looking back at Joe Ryan.
Was his "heart attack" actually something else?
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The Phoenix Police Department actually reopened the case in late 2020. They reviewed the autopsy and the circumstances. Ultimately, they stuck by the original finding. There wasn't enough evidence to prove foul play, especially since his body had been cremated years prior.
Still, Joe's sister, Annie Cushing, has been a vocal advocate for the truth. She’s shared recordings of Lori talking about wanting to "murder" Joe because of the custody battle. It makes you wonder. It makes everyone wonder.
The Other Joseph Anthony Ryan: A General’s Path
It’s important to distinguish the Joe Ryan of the Vallow case from General Joseph A. Ryan. If you’re looking for the man currently in the news for military strategy, you’re looking at a completely different person.
General Ryan is a West Point grad (Class of 1991) who has spent over three decades in the infantry. He’s led the 25th Infantry Division in Hawaii and, as of late 2025, serves as the commanding general of the U.S. Army Western Hemisphere Command.
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Basically, he’s a high-level leader responsible for operations across the Americas. It’s a career defined by the 82nd Airborne and the 75th Ranger Regiment—a far cry from the tragic legal battles of the Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr in Texas and Arizona.
Why the Confusion Matters
In the age of SEO and Google Discover, names get tangled. When you search for "Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr," the algorithm tries to balance the high-authority military bio with the high-interest true crime story.
- The Father: Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr (1958–2018). Focus: Domestic legal battles, suspicious death, Tylee Ryan's father.
- The General: General Joseph A. Ryan (Born ~1968). Focus: Military leadership, West Point, U.S. Army Western Hemisphere Command.
Lessons from a Life Cut Short
The Joseph Anthony Ryan Jr who fathered Tylee Ryan is often portrayed as a villain in Lori Vallow’s narrative—she told people he was abusive. But court records and accounts from his sister paint a picture of a man who was desperate to be a father.
He wasn't perfect. No one is. But the "suspicious" nature of his death remains one of the biggest "what-ifs" in the Vallow-Daybell timeline. If investigators had looked closer in 2018, could Tylee have been saved?
It’s a heavy question.
If you’re researching this case for personal interest or as part of the broader Vallow-Daybell investigation, here are a few things you can actually do to get the full picture:
- Read the Cushing Documents: Annie Cushing (Joe’s sister) has compiled a massive amount of data on her website regarding the custody battle and the timeline of Joe’s death.
- Verify the Death Certificate: The Phoenix PD released their final review in 2021, which confirms the "natural causes" ruling stands despite the surrounding drama.
- Separate the Names: Ensure you aren't conflating the private citizen with the active-duty General when looking at news archives.
Joe Ryan’s story is a reminder that the people we see in headlines were real people with complicated lives, long before they became "characters" in a true crime documentary. He was a father who, for better or worse, spent his final years fighting for a daughter who would ultimately meet a much more tragic end than he did.
To get the most accurate updates on the ongoing legal fallout of the Vallow-Daybell cases, you should follow local reporting from East Idaho News, which has covered the details of these families more closely than any national outlet.