Jared Diamond: The Third Chimpanzee and Why We're Still So Weird

Jared Diamond: The Third Chimpanzee and Why We're Still So Weird

Ever looked at a chimpanzee through the glass at a zoo and felt a weird, unsettling prickle of recognition? Honestly, you should. Jared Diamond’s 1991 classic, The Third Chimpanzee, basically argues that if a space alien biologist landed on Earth tomorrow, they wouldn’t see "humans" and "apes" as two totally different things. They’d just see three different kinds of chimps. We’re the ones with the clothes and the nuclear weapons, sure, but we’re still just the third species in the Pan genus.

It's a heavy thought. We like to think of ourselves as these noble, semi-divine beings who just happen to have bodies. Diamond drags us back down to the dirt. He points out that we share roughly 98.4% of our DNA with the common chimpanzee and the bonobo. That tiny 1.6% gap? That’s where everything we call "human"—art, language, genocide, and Netflix—lives.

The Genetic Math That Makes You a Chimp

Most people don't realize how small the genetic distance really is. We’re actually more closely related to chimps than chimps are to gorillas. Let that sink in. A chimp and a gorilla look pretty similar to us, right? But genetically, that chimp is your closer cousin.

Diamond argues that our "Great Leap Forward" happened only about 50,000 to 100,000 years ago. Before that, we were just another large mammal hanging out, not really doing anything more impressive than a beaver or a clever crow. Then, something clicked. Diamond bets on the development of the larynx. Once we could make complex sounds, we could plan. We could tell Joe to hide behind the rock while Sarah flushes the mammoth toward the pit. Language changed everything, but it didn't stop us from being animals.

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Why We Have Sex the Way We Do

One of the most fascinating (and kinda awkward) parts of The Third Chimpanzee is how Diamond explains human sexuality through the lens of evolutionary biology. Why do we have sex in private? Why do women go through menopause? These aren't just cultural quirks.

  • Concealed Ovulation: Most mammals know exactly when they're fertile, and everyone else knows too. Humans? Not so much. Diamond suggests this evolved to keep the male around, ensuring he helps raise the incredibly high-maintenance human infant rather than wandering off to find the next fertile female.
  • The Menopause Puzzle: In the wild, an animal that can’t reproduce is "useless" to evolution. But human "grandmothers" are a secret weapon. By stopping their own reproduction, they can focus on the survival of their grandchildren, passing on knowledge and childcare that keeps the tribe alive.

The Dark Side of the Mirror

It’s not all fun facts about DNA and mating rituals. Diamond gets dark. He looks at things like genocide and environmental destruction not as "evil" deviations from human nature, but as part of our biological toolkit.

We are a species that is incredibly good at "in-group/out-group" dynamics. It's how we survived the Ice Age, but it's also why we have a terrifying track record of wiping out anyone who doesn't look like us or speak our language. He looks at the tragic history of the Tasmanians—a group of people essentially hunted to extinction by European settlers—and argues that this isn't just a "modern" problem. It's a "Third Chimpanzee" problem.

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Did Agriculture Ruin Everything?

Diamond famously calls the transition from hunting and gathering to farming "the worst mistake in the history of the human race." Bold claim, right? But he’s got a point.

  1. Health tanked: Early farmers were shorter, more diseased, and had worse teeth than their hunter-gatherer ancestors.
  2. Social inequality: Once you can store grain, you can have "haves" and "have-nots."
  3. Work-life balance: Hunter-gatherers actually had more "leisure time" than your average medieval peasant or modern office worker.

Is He Right? The Experts Weigh In

Now, look, Diamond isn't a god. He’s a polymath—started in physiology, moved to birds, then to geography. Because he paints with such a broad brush, specialists (the people who spend 40 years studying one specific bone in a lemur's foot) tend to get annoyed with him.

Critics like Michael Wilcox and Jonathan Marks have pointed out that Diamond can be a bit of a "geographic determinist." They argue he sometimes ignores "human agency"—the idea that we make choices and aren't just puppets of our environment or our genes. There’s also the valid criticism that he sometimes uses "cherry-picked" data to make a great story.

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But honestly? Even if he’s wrong about the details, the big picture he paints is hard to ignore. We are biological creatures. Our "high-tech" world is built on a "low-tech" primate brain.

What This Means for You Right Now

Understanding the "Third Chimpanzee" mindset is actually pretty practical. It helps you realize why you feel anxious when you're socially isolated (tribal instinct) or why you crave sugar (scarcity instinct).

Actionable Insights from the Third Chimpanzee Perspective:

  • Acknowledge the Animal: Stop beating yourself up for having "base" instincts. Your brain was designed for a savanna, not a skyscraper. Recognize when your "chimp brain" is driving—like when you get irrationally angry in traffic—and use your "human" prefrontal cortex to take the wheel.
  • Watch the "In-Group" Bias: We are hardwired to be suspicious of "others." In 2026, where the internet amplifies tribalism, being aware of this bias is the only way to counteract it. Ask yourself: "Do I actually dislike this person/group, or is my monkey brain just flagging them as 'not my tribe'?"
  • Question Progress: Just because a technology is "new" or "efficient" doesn't mean it’s good for your biology. High-density living and 24/7 blue light are "new" to our 100,000-year-old bodies. Find ways to re-incorporate "primitive" needs: movement, community, and time in nature.
  • Environmental Humility: Diamond’s biggest warning is that we are the only animal capable of destroying our own nest. We aren't "above" nature; we are deeply embedded in it. Small changes in how you consume resources aren't just "nice to do"—they are a survival strategy for a species that is currently overreaching its biological limits.

The book might be over 30 years old, but the core message is more urgent than ever. We’re a smart chimp with a very dangerous set of toys. Whether we use that 1.6% of "uniquely human" DNA to save ourselves or finish the job of self-destruction is still the biggest open question in our history.

To really get your head around this, try observing your own reactions for a day. Every time you feel a surge of status envy, protective rage, or even the urge to show off, remind yourself: "That's just the third chimpanzee talking." It's a great way to gain some much-needed perspective on the chaos of modern life.