J. Golden Kimball shouldn't have worked. In a world of starch-collared leaders and "thee and thou" prayers, he was a gangly, high-pitched cowboy who couldn't stop cussing. He was the son of Heber C. Kimball, an original Mormon apostle, and he grew up in a household with 64 siblings. Life wasn't easy.
When his father died, 15-year-old Golden had to grow up fast. He became a mule skinner. Now, if you’ve ever tried to move a stubborn mule, you know they don't respond to polite suggestions. They need... color. Golden learned that language, and honestly, he never quite shook it off.
J. Golden Kimball Quotes and the Art of the "Small Leftover"
People called him the "Swearing Apostle," though he was actually a member of the First Council of the Seventy. He spent 46 years as a General Authority. Most guys in that position are carefully polished. Golden was a cactus.
He once addressed his habit directly to a congregation that was probably clutching their pearls: "I may not always walk the straight and narrow, but I sure in hell try to cross it as often as I can." It wasn't just shock value. It was authenticity. He knew he was a mess, and he didn't try to hide it. That’s why people loved him. They still do. In a culture that often demands perfection, Golden was the guy who said, "I won't go to Hell for swearing because I repent too damn fast!" ### The Famous "Short and Sweet" Sermon
One of the most repeated J. Golden Kimball quotes concerns the very nature of preaching itself. He knew people got bored. He knew the pews were hard.
"A sermon should be like a woman's dress. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep your attention."
📖 Related: Finding the Right Words: Quotes About Sons That Actually Mean Something
You probably couldn't say that from a pulpit today without a PR nightmare. But back then? It was just Golden being Golden. He had this way of stripping away the fluff and getting to the point, even if the point was a bit salty.
Why the Legend Persists
There’s a reason you still hear these stories in Utah and Idaho. It’s not just the swearing. It’s the honesty about nepotism. He once famously remarked:
"Some people say a person receives a position in this church through revelation, and others say they get it through inspiration, but I say they get it through relation. If I hadn't been related to Heber C. Kimball I wouldn't have been a damn thing in this church."
That is a wild thing for a high-ranking official to say. It’s the kind of transparency that makes people feel like they’re in on the joke. He wasn't pretending to be a spiritual giant; he was just a guy trying to do his job.
👉 See also: Williams Sonoma Deer Park IL: What Most People Get Wrong About This Kitchen Icon
The Coffee Problem
He also struggled with the Word of Wisdom, specifically coffee. It was his "cowboy ambrosia." When he was 80 years old, he reportedly said:
"Well, I've almost got the problem licked. I'm eighty now, and in a few more years, I think I'll have it completely under control."
He was talking about his love of coffee. He didn't sugarcoat his failings. He just acknowledged them with a grin.
How to Apply the Golden Philosophy
We live in a world of filtered Instagram feeds and corporate "synergy." Golden is the antidote. Here is how you can actually use his outlook to make your life less miserable:
✨ Don't miss: Finding the most affordable way to live when everything feels too expensive
- Own your mess. If you screw up, don't write a three-page justification. Just repent "damn fast" and move on.
- Stop the virtue signaling. Golden hated "Peter Priesthood" types who acted holier-than-thou. Be real.
- Use humor as a bridge. He used wit to soften hard truths. It works.
- Be loyal, but not blind. He was fiercely dedicated to his faith, but he still poked fun at the bureaucracy. You can love an institution and still laugh at its quirks.
Moving Forward With a Lopsided Halo
J. Golden Kimball died in 1938 in a car crash in the Nevada desert. He was 85. Even his death was a bit chaotic. But the stories didn't die with him. They became a "folk history" because they represent a part of the human experience that religion often tries to scrub clean: the grit.
If you want to dive deeper into his actual history, look for The J. Golden Kimball Stories by Eric A. Eliason. It’s one of the few books that actually separates the real quotes from the tall tales that have grown over the decades.
To really channel your inner "Uncle Golden," start by being more honest about your own "small leftovers" from your "cowboy days." Stop trying to be the perfect version of yourself and just try to be the version that repents quickly and keeps people's attention.
Next Steps for the J. Golden Fan:
- Read the 1918 Conference Report: This is where he gives a surprisingly tender talk about the Holy Ghost and how he used to mistake excitement for spirituality.
- Audit your "mule skinner" language: Decide which parts of your personality are authentic grit and which are just bad habits you're holding onto.
- Find a copy of "Mormon Country" by Wallace Stegner: It has a fantastic chapter on why Golden became such a legend.