I've Been Broke So Many Times: Why Financial Relapse Happens and How to Stop the Cycle

I've Been Broke So Many Times: Why Financial Relapse Happens and How to Stop the Cycle

Money is a weirdly emotional thing. Most people think being broke is just a math problem—too much going out, not enough coming in—but if you've ever muttered the phrase i've been broke so many times under your breath while staring at a $4.00 bank balance, you know it’s deeper than that. It’s a cycle. It’s a physical weight in your chest.

It’s exhausting.

The truth is, modern personal finance advice often fails because it assumes we are robots. We aren't. We’re humans with dopamine cravings, childhood trauma, and a society that literally spends billions of dollars trying to trick us into spending. You can learn to budget, sure. But if you don't understand the "why" behind the "broke," the cycle just repeats.

The Psychology of the "Financial Yo-Yo"

Why do some of us keep ending up back at zero? It’s rarely about laziness. In fact, people who have been broke multiple times are often some of the hardest workers out there. They're scrappy. They know how to survive on ramen and sheer willpower.

The problem is often "Scarcity Brain." When you’re constantly stressed about money, your brain’s executive function—the part that handles long-term planning—basically goes offline. Harvard economist Sendhil Mullainathan and Princeton psychologist Eldar Shafir wrote extensively about this in their book Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much. They found that poverty actually creates a "bandwidth tax." You’re so focused on the immediate fire (rent tomorrow) that you can't see the forest (savings for next year).

Then there’s the "rebound effect."

Think about it like a crash diet. You starve yourself for three weeks, and then you see a donut. You don’t just eat one donut; you eat the whole box because your brain is screaming that this might be the last sugar it sees for a month. Money works the same way. You spend weeks being "good," and then the moment a paycheck hits, you overspend on something small just to feel like a human being again. That’s how the i've been broke so many times narrative starts to feel like an identity instead of a temporary state.

Cultural and Systemic Anchors

We also have to be honest about the environment. In 2026, the cost of living hasn't exactly plummeted. Real estate is a beast, and "subscription creep" drains bank accounts $15 at a time. If you grew up in a household where money was always a source of screaming matches, you might subconsciously view money as "dangerous" or "stressful." Your brain wants to get rid of it as soon as it arrives because having it feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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I've Been Broke So Many Times: Breaking the Habitual Low

If you want to stop being broke, you have to stop "budgeting" and start "systemizing."

Budgeting is active. It requires you to make a choice every single day. Choices require willpower. Willpower is a finite resource that runs out by 5:00 PM on a Tuesday. Systemizing is passive. It takes the choice out of your hands.

The first step isn't saving $1,000. That’s too big for someone in the middle of a crisis. The first step is "The Buffer." Most people stay broke because they try to pay off debt too fast. They get $500, throw it all at a credit card, and then three days later, they have to put groceries on that same credit card because they have no cash. They’re effectively "cycling" debt.

Keep the cash.

It sounds counterintuitive. It feels wrong to let interest accumulate. But if you don't have a cash buffer, you are one flat tire away from a total meltdown. You need that "I'm not going to starve" fund before you worry about your FICO score.

Redefining Your Relationship with "Value"

Let’s talk about "Treat Culture." We’ve been told that we deserve a little treat because life is hard. And life is hard. But if those $7 lattes or $15 door-dash deliveries are the reason you can’t sleep at night, they aren't treats. They’re stressors disguised as rewards.

Real self-care isn't a purchase. It’s the feeling of waking up and knowing that if the water heater leaks, you aren't going to lose your apartment. Shift your dopamine hit from the purchase to the balance. It takes time—months, maybe years—to rewire those neurons, but it’s the only way out of the "broke again" loop.

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The Strategy of the "Bare Minimum"

When you’re in the "i've been broke so many times" headspace, your goals are usually too big. You want to save $10k. You want a house. Stop.

Focus on the "Four Walls" popularized by finance experts like Dave Ramsey, though with a modern twist. Housing, Utilities, Food, Transportation. If those are covered, you are winning. Everything else is noise.

  1. Audit the Leaks: Sit down with your bank statement. Don't use an app that "categorizes" things for you; they're often wrong. Use a highlighter. Mark every time you spent money while feeling bored, sad, or impulsive.
  2. The 24-Hour Rule: If it costs more than $20 and isn't a literal necessity (like medicine), you have to wait 24 hours. No exceptions. Usually, the "need" fades by morning.
  3. The "Ghost" Account: Open a savings account at a completely different bank than your checking. Don't get a debit card for it. Don't install the app on your phone. Set up a tiny auto-transfer—even $5 a week. If you can't see it, you're less likely to "borrow" from it.

Stop Falling for the "Income Myth"

"If I just made $10,000 more a year, I'd be fine."

Maybe. But usually, lifestyle inflation eats that $10k before you even see it. People get a raise and immediately upgrade their car or move into a slightly nicer place. This is "lifestyle creep." It’s a trap. If you don't fix the hole in the bucket, it doesn't matter how much water you pour in.

I’ve seen people making $200k a year who are just as "broke" as someone making $40k because they’re leveraged to the hilt. They have the "i've been broke so many times" panic, just with better furniture.

Moving From Survival to Stability

Stability isn't a number. It’s a habit.

It’s the habit of looking at your bank account every single day, even when you’re scared of what you’ll see. It’s the habit of saying "I can't afford that right now" without feeling like a failure. Honesty is the best tool you have. Tell your friends you’re on a "money fast." Real friends won't care; they’ll probably be relieved because they're likely struggling too.

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The Reality of the Journey

You will probably mess up. You’ll have a bad day, spend $80 on something stupid, and feel that familiar wave of shame. That’s the danger zone. Shame is what keeps you broke. When you feel shame, you want to hide, and when you hide, you stop tracking your money.

Forgive yourself.

Treat a financial relapse like a physical injury. You don't say "well, my leg is broken, might as well break the other one." You get a cast, you rest, and you start physical therapy.

Actionable Steps for This Week

  • Manual Tracking: For the next seven days, write down every single penny you spend in a physical notebook. Not an app. Writing it by hand forces your brain to acknowledge the exit of capital.
  • Cancel One "Hidden" Cost: We all have that one streaming service or gym membership we don't use. Kill it today. It's not about the $12; it's about the psychological win of taking control.
  • The "Boredom" List: Make a list of five things you can do for fun that cost $0. When the urge to go "window shopping" or "browsing" hits, pick something from the list instead.
  • Identify Your Triggers: Do you spend more when you’re around a certain friend? Do you spend more after a bad meeting at work? Pinpoint the "broke" trigger so you can see it coming next time.

The cycle of being broke is a combination of systemic hurdles and personal habits. You can't always control the economy, but you can control the "gate" between your hard-earned cash and the rest of the world. Start small. Stay consistent.

The goal isn't to be rich tomorrow. It's to be okay today.

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