Sometimes you hear a song and wonder how the hell it ever became a hit. Not because the music is bad, but because the lyrics are so uncomfortable they make your skin crawl just a little bit. That’s exactly what happened in 1972 when Merle Haggard released It's Not Love (But It's Not Bad).
The song didn't just climb the charts. It parked itself at number one on the Billboard Hot Country Singles chart for a week in November, becoming Haggard's thirteenth chart-topper. But man, the subject matter is heavy. It's essentially a three-minute confession about settling for "good enough" while your heart is actually blocks, miles, or maybe lifetimes away with someone else.
Honestly, it’s one of the most honest songs ever written about the messy reality of human relationships.
The Story Behind the Lyrics
You might think Merle wrote this one himself, given how well he inhabited the role of the "Lonesome Fugitive." But it was actually penned by the legendary Hank Cochran and Glenn Martin. Cochran was the guy behind hits like "I Fall to Pieces," so he knew a thing or two about heartache.
The song opens with one of the most arresting lines in country music history: "I'll admit I've got a woman who thinks I'm her everything."
Ouch.
The protagonist basically admits he's living a lie. He's got a woman who loves him, takes care of him, and treats him right. And yet? He's bored. Or worse, he’s haunted. He’s with her because she’s there and because it beats being alone, but the "spark"—that soul-crushing, lightning-bolt kind of love—just isn't in the room.
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Settling for "Not Bad"
Most love songs are about the extremes. They’re about the honeymoon phase or the "I'm gonna jump off a bridge" breakup phase. It's Not Love (But It's Not Bad) lives in the gray area.
It's the anthem for the person who is "content" but not "happy."
Haggard’s delivery is what makes it work. He doesn't sound like a villain. He sounds tired. There’s a specific kind of weariness in his voice when he sings the chorus. He’s acknowledging that his current partner is "not bad," which is perhaps the most devastating thing you could ever say about a significant other.
Why Merle Haggard Was the Perfect Messenger
By the time 1972 rolled around, Merle Haggard was the undisputed king of the Bakersfield Sound. He wasn't some polished Nashville star in a rhinestone suit. He was a guy who’d actually done time in San Quentin. When he sang about regret, people believed him because they knew he’d lived it.
The album, also titled It's Not Love (But It's Not Bad), was released in December 1972 via Capitol Records. It’s a fascinating snapshot of where country music was at the time. It’s gritty, it’s steel-guitar heavy, and it’s unapologetically adult.
- Producer: Ken Nelson and Fuzzy Owen.
- The Band: The Strangers (specifically featuring the incredible Biff Adam on drums and Norman Hamlet on pedal steel).
- Chart Run: It spent 12 weeks on the charts in total.
Critics at the time, and even later ones like Stephen Thomas Erlewine, have noted that the album is a bit of a mixed bag. But the title track? That’s the crown jewel. It captures that "poet of the common man" vibe that Haggard was famous for.
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The Ethics of the Song
Is the narrator a jerk? It’s a question fans have debated for decades.
On one hand, he’s providing for this woman and staying faithful (presumably). On the other hand, he’s emotionally checked out. There’s a certain cruelty in the silence of it all. As some listeners have pointed out, if he never tells her, is it a victimless crime? Or is he robbing her of the chance to find someone who actually thinks she’s their "everything"?
It’s this moral ambiguity that makes it a masterpiece. Life isn't always a Hallmark movie. Sometimes life is just making the best of a situation you didn't quite plan for.
Why It Still Matters Today
We live in an era of "curated" lives on social media. Everyone wants to pretend they’re "obsessed" with their partner and living their best life. It's Not Love (But It's Not Bad) is the antidote to that fake-ness.
It reminds us that settling is a real human experience.
The song has been covered by various artists over the years, from David Houston to Emily Gimble, but nobody quite captures the "shrug of the shoulders" feeling like Merle. He understood that sometimes the most painful thing isn't a loud argument or a cheating scandal. It’s the quiet realization that you’re in a room with someone and you’ve never felt more alone.
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What to Listen for Next
If this song hits home for you, you should definitely check out the rest of the 1972 album. Specifically, look for:
- "I Wonder What She’ll Think About Me Leaving"
- "Somewhere To Come When It Rains"
- "My Woman Keeps Lovin’ Her Man"
These tracks all share that same DNA of relationship anxiety and the complicated reality of long-term commitment.
If you're a vinyl collector, try to find an original Capitol ST-11127 pressing. There’s something about hearing that pedal steel through a bit of analog crackle that makes the heartbreak feel a lot more authentic. You can usually find them for under 20 bucks at a decent record store, which is a steal for a piece of country music history.
Listen to the song again. But this time, pay attention to the space between the notes. That's where the real story is.
Next Steps:
Go listen to the live version from Merle’s 1980s era. You can hear how his voice aged into the song, making the lyrics feel even more lived-in and heavy with the weight of time. Compare the studio version’s crispness with the later, "rowdier" live takes to see how the meaning of the song shifted as Merle himself got older.