Language changes fast. One minute you're just talking normally, and the next, your social media feed is a chaotic soup of "it's giving" this and "it's giving" that. But then things took a turn into the absurd. You’ve probably seen the phrase its giving he she we they them bouncing around TikTok or Twitter. It sounds like a grammatical car crash. It feels like someone took a blender to a middle school English textbook and hit "liquefy."
But there’s a specific reason this weird string of pronouns became a massive vibe.
It isn't just nonsense. This specific phrasing—its giving he she we they them—actually traces back to a very specific moment in digital culture where ballroom slang, drag influence, and Gen Z irony collided. Honestly, if you aren't terminally online, it looks like a glitch in the matrix. If you are online, it's a shorthand for a very specific type of energy. It’s about identity, but more importantly, it’s about the performance of identity.
Where "Its Giving" Actually Came From
Before we get to the "he she we they" part, we have to talk about the foundation. "It's giving" is rooted deeply in Black Trans Culture and the ballroom scene. Think Paris Is Burning. Think legendary houses in New York City. In that world, "giving" was a way to describe the "realness" or the aesthetic someone was projecting. If someone walked a category and looked like a high-powered CEO, they were "giving executive realness."
Eventually, the internet did what the internet does. It took a nuanced piece of subculture slang and flattened it into a catch-all reaction. By the time it hit mainstream TikTok, people started using it for everything. "It's giving main character." "It's giving desperation." "It's giving 2004."
Then came the remix.
The phrase its giving he she we they them started as a way to poke fun at the performative nature of gender and pronouns in the 2020s. It’s a tongue-in-cheek nod to the idea that sometimes, someone’s "vibe" is just... everyone. It’s inclusive, sure, but it’s also a bit of a joke about the sensory overload of modern identity politics. It’s the linguistic equivalent of a shrug and a smile.
The Viral Moment and the Pronoun Spiral
There wasn't just one "Patient Zero" for this phrase, but it gained massive traction through "get ready with me" (GRWM) videos and POV creators who use high-energy, repetitive speech patterns. The repetition of its giving he she we they them mimics the way people talk when they’re trying to be overly supportive but end up sounding slightly unhinged.
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It’s a rhythm thing. Say it out loud. It has a cadence.
He. She. We. They. Them. It sounds like a playground chant. In the world of SEO and viral trends, rhythm is often more important than literal meaning. People started using the sound bite to describe outfits that were gender-neutral, or more often, to describe situations where someone was trying way too hard to be "progressive" or "woke" in a way that felt forced.
Why Gen Z Loves Nonsense
We have to look at "brain rot" culture for a second. It's a real term. Ask anyone under 20. Phrases like its giving he she we they them fall into this category of humor where the joke is that there is no joke. It’s just the sheer repetition of words until they lose all meaning. It’s nihilism with a neon filter.
When a creator says "it's giving he she we they them," they might be talking about:
- An outfit that is incredibly confusing but somehow works.
- A person who is doing "the most" in terms of personality.
- Absolutely nothing at all—it’s just a filler phrase to keep the algorithm engaged.
Digital linguist Gretchen McCulloch, author of Because Internet, often talks about how we use language to signal belonging. If you use this phrase correctly, you're signaling that you're part of a specific digital "in-group." You're showing that you understand the irony layers. If you use it wrong, you look like a brand trying to sell insurance to teenagers.
The Intersection of Gender and Meme Culture
There is a serious side to this, even if the meme itself is silly. Pronouns have become a massive flashpoint in the culture wars. For many, pronouns are a deeply personal matter of respect and identity. For others, the shifting landscape of language feels overwhelming.
The its giving he she we they them trend sits right in the middle of that tension.
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By turning the list of pronouns into a rhythmic "giving" meme, the internet took the "sting" out of a heated debate. It turned something that people usually argue about into something they can dance to. It’s a form of linguistic reclamation. LGBTQ+ creators often use the phrase to celebrate the fluidity of their community. It’s basically saying, "Yeah, it’s a lot of pronouns, and yeah, it’s a vibe."
Decoding the Syntax
Grammatically, the phrase is a disaster. "Its" (possessive) is usually used instead of "It's" (it is) in these memes because speed matters more than apostrophes when you're typing a caption on a moving video.
The inclusion of "we" is the most fascinating part.
"We" isn't a third-person pronoun you usually see in the "he/she/they" lineup. Adding "we" into its giving he she we they them changes the vibe from a list of identities to a collective experience. It’s saying that whatever "it" is, we are all in it together. It’s a collective "giving."
How to Use the Phrase Without Cringing
If you're over the age of 25, use this with caution. You can't just drop it into a business meeting.
Wait. Actually, maybe you can, but only if you're prepared for the silence that follows.
The key to using its giving he she we they them is all about the delivery. It has to be fast. It has to be slightly breathless. It’s best used when you’re looking at something that defies easy categorization.
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Example: You see a dog wearing a tutu and a tiny fedora.
Reaction: "Honestly? It's giving he she we they them."
It works because the dog's "vibe" is all-encompassing. It’s everything and nothing.
The Backlash: When Memes Die
Every meme has a shelf life. We saw it with "on fleek." We saw it with "skibidi." Eventually, the mainstream gets a hold of its giving he she we they them, and the original creators move on to something even weirder.
Critics of the phrase argue that it trivializes the importance of pronouns. They worry that by turning identity into a "vibe," we lose the respect intended by the practice of sharing pronouns. On the other hand, many trans and non-binary creators are the ones making these jokes. Humor is often a survival mechanism. It’s a way to take a topic that can be heavy or clinical and make it light and communal.
Actionable Steps for Understanding Modern Slang
You don't need a PhD in linguistics to keep up, but you do need to pay attention to the source. If you want to actually understand how phrases like its giving he she we they them evolve, stop looking at "top 10" lists and start looking at the comments sections.
- Follow the source. Look at Black creators and Ballroom culture archives. That’s where the "giving" DNA starts. Understanding the history prevents you from using the slang in a way that feels like cultural stripping.
- Listen for the rhythm. Modern slang is designed for audio-first platforms like TikTok. If a phrase feels "catchy" or "staccato," it’s likely being used for its sound as much as its meaning.
- Check the irony levels. Is the person being serious, or are they mocking the way people talk? With its giving he she we they them, it’s usually 70% irony and 30% genuine vibes.
- Observe the "Evolution of Three." Slang usually starts in a subculture, moves to "cool" mainstream, then hits "uncool" mainstream (moms, brands, news anchors), and then finally dies or becomes a permanent part of the lexicon. This phrase is currently in the "cool mainstream" phase, but the "uncool" transition is looming.
The most important thing to remember is that language is alive. It’s messy. It’s weird. Sometimes it’s just a string of pronouns that sounds like a song. Whether you think it’s a sign of the linguistic apocalypse or just a fun way to describe a chaotic outfit, its giving he she we they them is a perfect snapshot of how we communicate in 2026. It’s fast, it’s inclusive, and it’s just a little bit ridiculous.
Don't overthink it. Just let it give what it's supposed to give.