If you spent any part of the early 2010s glued to MTV, you know Ryder. Caitlin "Ryder" Ryder was the ultimate wingwoman. She was the one Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi would call when the Jersey Shore house got too dramatic or when she just needed someone to do shots with. They were a package deal. It felt like they’d be "meatballs" for life.
But then, the cameras for the original series stopped rolling. Snooki got married to Jionni LaValle. She had three kids. She built a retail empire. And Ryder? She just kind of... vanished.
If you're wondering is Snooki still friends with Ryder in 2026, the short answer is no. At least, not in the way you remember. They aren’t hanging out at the Shore House, and they aren't even following each other on Instagram. Honestly, it’s a classic case of life moving at two different speeds.
The Night Everything Changed (The Infamous Makeout)
Most people point to one specific moment on the spinoff Snooki & JWoww as the beginning of the end. It was Nicole’s first big night out after giving birth to her first son, Lorenzo. She was finally out of the "mom zone" for a few hours and, naturally, she went hard.
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Nicole ended up getting wasted and making out with Ryder. When Jionni found out, he didn't just get annoyed—he went nuclear. He called Ryder "disgusting" and essentially told Nicole that this wasn't the kind of behavior a mother should be engaging in.
It wasn't just about a kiss. For Jionni, Ryder represented the "old Snooki"—the one who got arrested on the beach and couldn't find the shore. He saw Ryder as a bad influence, a "party friend" who didn't know how to flip the switch into adulthood.
"Party Friends" vs. Life Friends
Nicole has actually talked about this on her podcast and in various interviews over the years. She’s been pretty blunt about it. She categorized Ryder as a "party friend."
"You have your party friends and you’re great friends growing up, and then once you get pregnant and you kind of form this family, you just kind of drift apart." — Nicole Polizzi
It sounds harsh, right? But think about your own life. Have you ever had that one friend you only ever saw at a bar? Once you stop going to that bar, what do you even talk about?
When Nicole became a mom, her world became about diapers, business meetings, and 8:00 PM bedtimes. Ryder, at the time, was still living that Brooklyn party life. There was no "beef" or some massive, screaming blowout. They just ran out of things to say to each other.
The Mexico Trip Tension
Before the makeout incident, there was already friction. During a trip to Mexico (filmed for the spinoff), Nicole was pregnant and feeling miserable. She couldn't drink. She was tired. She wanted to stay in.
Ryder and Jenni (JWoww) went out anyway.
Nicole felt abandoned. She expected her "lifelong best friend" to sit in the hotel room with her, but Ryder wanted to do what they always did: party. That was a huge wake-up call for Nicole. She realized that without the alcohol and the clubs, the foundation of their friendship was actually pretty shaky.
Where is Ryder Now?
Caitlin Ryder has stayed remarkably low-key since leaving the reality TV world. Unlike some other former MTV guest stars, she didn't try to pivot into a full-time influencer career.
She eventually went back to school and graduated with an accounting degree. She lives a relatively normal life in New York. While she occasionally pops up in the background of a random photo or is mentioned by mutual friends like Joey Camasta, she is no longer part of the "inner circle."
There was a brief moment in late 2024 where fans thought they saw her at a Snooki Shop holiday party. While they might be on "civil" terms—the kind where you say "happy birthday" on Facebook once a year—the deep bond is gone.
The JWoww Factor
A lot of fans ask why Nicole stayed friends with Jenni but dropped Ryder. After all, Jenni was right there in the club in Mexico too.
The difference is that Jenni evolved with Nicole. They both became mothers around the same time. They both had to navigate the transition from "Shore" stars to businesswomen. Jenni is the godmother to Nicole’s kids. Ryder simply didn't fit into the new "Mommy and Me" brand that Nicole built.
What You Can Learn From the "Snooki-Ryder" Fallout
Friendships ending isn't always a tragedy. Sometimes, it's just growth. If you’re feeling guilty about drifting away from a "Ryder" in your own life, here is how to handle it:
- Audit your "Common Ground": If the only thing holding you together is a shared hobby you no longer enjoy (like clubbing), it’s okay to let the friendship fade.
- Respect the Seasons: Some friends are for a season, others are for a lifetime. Ryder was the perfect friend for 21-year-old Snooki. She wasn't the right friend for 30-year-old Nicole.
- Don't Force a Reunion: Nicole has mentioned she "wishes they had a conversation" instead of just fizzling out, but she hasn't reached out to fix it. Sometimes, closure is just accepting that the person is a happy memory, not a current priority.
The reality is that we’ll probably never see Ryder on Jersey Shore Family Vacation. She’s moved on, and Nicole has built a life that doesn't have a seat at the table for her former wingwoman. It’s not dramatic; it’s just adulting.
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Next Step: If you want to see how the rest of the original crew's relationships have changed, you can check out the latest episodes of Jersey Shore Family Vacation where Nicole often discusses how she balances her "mawma" life with her old persona.