If you’ve spent any time on TikTok or YouTube lately, you’ve probably seen a manic, high-energy dude with a backwards hat absolutely roasting a couple in the front row of a comedy club. That’s Michael Blaustein. He’s one half of the massive Stiff Socks podcast alongside Trevor Wallace, and honestly, the guy is everywhere right now.
But because his comedy is so deeply rooted in the chaotic, often cringe-inducing world of modern dating, fans are constantly asking the same thing: is Michael Blaustein married? It's a fair question. Usually, when a comedian talks that much about "the apps" and terrible first dates, they’re either deeply single or hiding a wedding ring in their pocket to keep the material fresh.
The Short Answer: Is Michael Blaustein Married?
Let’s get the big reveal out of the way. No. Michael Blaustein is not married. As of early 2026, there is zero record of a marriage license, a secret wedding in Vegas, or a "meet the wife" episode of the pod. In fact, if you listen to Stiff Socks with any regularity, you know that Blaustein’s lifestyle doesn't exactly scream "domestic bliss." He’s currently in the middle of his massive Taste Me Tour, hitting cities from Portland to London, and his schedule is basically a revolving door of comedy clubs and hotels.
Marriage usually requires, you know, being in one place for more than forty-eight hours. Michael isn't doing that right now.
Why Everyone Thinks He’s Hiding Someone
People love a mystery. Because Michael is so unfiltered about his "horniest kid alive" persona and his past dating mishaps—like the infamous "How to Kiss a Girl" videos from his early days—fans assume he must have a "person" behind the scenes.
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There was a period where people speculated about his relationship status because he’d occasionally mention "the girl I'm seeing" or talk about a specific dating scenario that felt a little too consistent to be a one-off. But unlike his co-host Trevor Wallace, who has been much more public about having a girlfriend (even featuring her in podcast titles), Michael keeps his actual romantic partners in the shadows.
He’s a pro at "situationship" comedy.
He talks about the feeling of dating without ever giving us a name or an Instagram handle to stalk. It’s a smart move. Once a comedian gets married, their "single guy energy" dies, and for a brand like Stiff Socks, that energy is the whole engine.
The "Taste Me Tour" and the Single Life
Right now, Michael is leaning hard into his career. You don't sell out the Moore Theatre in Seattle or the Wilbur in Boston by staying home and arguing about whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher.
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His comedy in 2025 and 2026 has been heavily focused on:
- Crowd Work: He is a master at finding the most awkward couple in the room and dissecting their relationship.
- The Struggle: He often jokes about being a "silly goose" (the title of his 2024 special) who hasn't quite grown up yet.
- The Road: He shares stories about the loneliness and weirdness of being a touring comic.
Honestly, his "marriage" is to the road.
What About Those Dating Rumors?
Over the years, Blaustein has been linked to various people in the comedy world, but it’s mostly just noise. He’s incredibly tight with the "Circle of Comedians" in LA and NYC, so he’s often seen in photos with female comics or influencers.
But don't let a stray Instagram tag fool you.
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Michael has been very vocal about the fact that he finds the idea of traditional settling down a bit terrifying. In a 2025 episode of Stiff Socks, he joked about the "pressure" of New Year's Eve kisses and the performative nature of romance. He seems much more content building an empire of 900 million viral views than picking out China patterns.
Why he isn't settling down yet:
- The Hustle: He’s at the peak of his career. Taking six months off for a honeymoon isn't in the cards.
- The Brand: Stiff Socks thrives on the "two dudes talking about weird stuff" vibe. A wedding ring changes the chemistry.
- Personal Choice: Some people just aren't "marriage people" in their 30s, and Michael seems to be enjoying the ride.
What's Next for Michael?
If you’re looking for a wedding announcement, don't hold your breath.
Michael is booked solid through most of 2026. He’s adding shows in places like Charleston and Calgary because the demand is just that high. If he is dating someone, they’ve got to be incredibly patient or also living out of a suitcase.
He’s currently focused on his "Unfiltered" moments and growing his YouTube presence, which has become a juggernaut for stand-up clips.
The takeaway for fans? Michael Blaustein is single, he’s not married, and he’s probably going to keep using his dating life as fuel for his comedy for the foreseeable future. If you want to see what he’s up to, your best bet isn't looking for a wedding registry—it's catching him live on tour or checking out the latest Stiff Socks drop.
Practical Next Steps for Fans:
- Check the Tour Schedule: If you want to see if his "single guy" stories hold up in person, he’s touring through September 2026.
- Listen to the "Interview" Episodes: To get the most "real" version of Michael, go back to the early Stiff Socks episodes where he and Trevor interview each other about their upbringing and actual dating philosophies.
- Watch 'Silly Goose': His YouTube special is the best distillation of who he is as a performer right now.