It happens every single season. A male professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars shows even a shred of rhythm, wears a sequined vest, and suddenly the internet is flooded with one specific question: is alan bersten gay? People love to speculate. They dive into his Instagram comments, analyze his chemistry with partners, and wait for some kind of big "reveal."
But honestly? Most of the chatter is just noise.
If you’ve been following the ballroom world for a minute, you know Alan Bersten has been a staple of our TV screens since his days on So You Think You Can Dance. He’s charming, he’s athletic, and he’s incredibly private about his personal life—until he isn't. The truth about his sexuality and his current relationship status isn't some hidden secret, but it is a lot more straightforward than the gossip blogs would have you believe.
The Viral Rumors vs. The Reality
So, let's get right to it. Alan Bersten is not gay. While the question "is alan bersten gay" pops up on Google like clockwork, Alan has only ever been publicly linked to women. It’s a bit of a tired trope in the dance world—the assumption that if a man is a world-class ballroom dancer, he must be gay. It’s a stereotype that many male pros, from Derek Hough to Val Chmerkovskiy, have dealt with for decades.
Alan usually laughs this stuff off. He's focused on the work. But if you look at his actual dating history, it tells a very different story than the rumors suggest.
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The Relationships We Actually Know About
Alan doesn't just date; he tends to find romance where he spends 90% of his time: the ballroom. It makes sense. You're sweating, training, and staring into someone's eyes for twelve hours a day.
- Alexis Ren: Back in Season 27 (2018), Alan and his celebrity partner, model Alexis Ren, had a very public, very "is-this-real-or-for-the-cameras" romance. They actually made it official during the show, but like many "showmances," it fizzled out pretty quickly after the finale.
- Hayley Erbert: Long before she married Derek Hough, Hayley and Alan dated for a bit. It was a low-key relationship between two rising stars in the dance community.
- The "Emma" Era: This is the big one. If you’ve been on social media lately, you’ve seen the "hard launch."
The Hard Launch: Alan and Emma Slater
If there was any lingering doubt about the is alan bersten gay question, it was pretty much obliterated in April 2025.
For months, fans had been whispering. They saw Alan and fellow pro Emma Slater looking a little too comfortable in the background of rehearsal videos. They noticed the way they looked at each other during the DWTS Live tour. Then, during the tour finale in Rosemont, Illinois, they stopped pretending.
They shared a massive, onstage kiss mid-routine. The crowd went absolutely feral.
Why the secrecy?
Emma was previously married to another DWTS pro, Sasha Farber. They separated in 2022 and finalized their divorce in 2024. Because they all still work together on the same show, things were... complicated. Alan and Emma kept things quiet for a long time out of respect for Sasha and to avoid the "toxic energy" that often comes with workplace romances.
Actually, according to an interview they did on the House of Maher podcast in late 2025, it was Olympic rugby player Ilona Maher (Alan's Season 33 partner) who nudged them to just go for it. She told Alan, "You gotta kiss her." And he did.
Dealing with the Stereotypes
Ballroom dancing is an art form. It's expressive. It's often "camp." Because of that, people project their own assumptions onto the performers.
Alan has spoken before about how he views his job. To him, the passion you see on stage is part of the storytelling. When he’s performing a Rumba, he has to look like he’s in love with his partner. That’s the job.
"We're both professionals," Alan told E! News when asked about his relationship with Emma. "So, we're going to keep it professional."
But being professional doesn't stop the "is alan bersten gay" searches. It's a weird paradox. If a male dancer has too much chemistry with a female partner, people say it's a fake "showmance." If he has no chemistry, people ask if he's gay. You basically can't win.
The "Andy Richter" Incident
Just to add a bit of humor to the mix, there was a hilarious moment in December 2025 at a Los Angeles Kings game. Alan and Emma were caught on the "Kiss Cam." After they kissed, Emma’s former partner, comedian Andy Richter, leaned over and gave Alan a big smooch on the cheek as a joke.
The video went viral, and of course, some people used it as "proof" for their theories. But honestly? It was just three friends having a laugh at a hockey game.
What This Means for Fans
If you're a fan of Alan, the takeaway is pretty simple: he's happy.
He’s currently in a very public, very committed relationship with Emma Slater. They’ve even shared photos of Emma attending family events, like his niece's Bat Mitzvah in 2025. It’s not just a "fling" for the show; it’s a real-life partnership that has the blessing of their coworkers—including Sasha Farber, who has been surprisingly mature about the whole thing, often commenting supportive emojis on their posts.
Actionable Insights for the Gossip-Curious
- Look for the "Hard Launch": In the age of social media, celebrities usually tell you who they are with if you look closely enough at their Instagram carousels.
- Check the Sources: Reddit and TikTok are fun for theories, but People Magazine and E! News usually get the "official" word when a DWTS pro is ready to speak.
- Ignore the Stereotypes: High-energy performance and flamboyant costumes are part of the ballroom genre; they aren't a roadmap to someone's private identity.
The next time someone asks "is alan bersten gay," you can safely point them toward his 2026 updates. He's a straight man who happens to be excellent at a sport that requires him to wear glitter and dance with his heart on his sleeve. He’s found love in the ballroom, and for now, he and Emma seem to be the new power couple of the Dancing with the Stars universe.
If you want to keep up with his latest routines and relationship updates, following his official Instagram is your best bet, as he's become much more open about sharing his life with Emma over the last few months.