AuthorTopic: [NEW REF] Self Portrait  (Read 15734 times)

Offline Helm

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Re: Self Portrait [now with reference]

Reply #10 on: February 22, 2010, 05:18:44 am
That's great but the implication I get from the rendering is that the person in the picture is powerless. He is conforming to the school because this is a professionally taken soft-edges school yearbook photo. That might be a honest recount of the situation but perhaps a piece of art such as this should speak from the vantage of the future, with hope. Imagine how yourself would look 10 years from now when he has achieved all these important things (I don't mean how he has changed physically, let's pretend you'll stay exactly the same in the next 10 years) and tell me how would his picture look. What functions would you use to differentiate from his self-willed visage and this third-party defined one?

On the pixel level my critique is that the selout around the hair doesn't seem to suggest anything useful. The green ramp in the background is a great opportunity to tint it when it goes to the brightest and where it goes to the darkest for some more emotional commentary (if needed),

The dithering is too uniform, there aren't any sharp points to accentuate the curves so it all comes out looking pillowshaded with a degree of separation: both fuzzy and somewhat textured by the dithers.

The nose (especially nostril) need a lot of work from reference, you are inventing the shape and malforming it. It's something that is easily salvageable once you've gotten down how the mechanics of the nose as volumes works and abstract from there, not feeling your way around in the dark. Eyes also are a bit symbolic.

Do you want an edit?

Offline Helm

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Re: Self Portrait [now with reference]

Reply #11 on: February 22, 2010, 05:38:36 am

Had a bit of time and made one, I hope it's alright.

Offline Chrispy

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Re: Self Portrait [now with reference]

Reply #12 on: February 22, 2010, 05:41:39 am
I actually plan on redoing the background, or at least removing it for a bit so I can rework the portrait itself and add it on later. I should've saved the background without the portrait, but oh well. It's not hard to make a new one. When I started making this I didn't exactly think of what feel I wanted to go for. Since I'm going to rework a majority of the shading and such I might as well restart from the face like Jad said I should. I might be able to save some of the face though, I dunno. The dithering being so off is because I'm new to it, although that isn't much of an excuse considering I know it's bad from looking at it myself. I should spend more time messing with it before I post it here.

I've never really thought about the kind of feeling my work gives, I just think something and sprite it. I wouldn't know what to do to change the feeling it's giving. A couple ideas that come to mind would be adding more shine to the eyes to give him that accomplished look, as well as adding a smile or something. And changing the palette to be lighter, as well as having a different, lighter background.

Also thanks for the edit, It should be of some help when reworking it.

Offline Helm

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Re: [REF] Self Portrait

Reply #13 on: February 22, 2010, 05:58:06 am
Quote
I've never really thought about the kind of feeling my work gives, I just think something and sprite it. I wouldn't know what to do to change the feeling it's giving.

Do you think it's a good thing if you did?

Looking forward to your progress  :)

Offline Chrispy

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Re: [REF] Self Portrait

Reply #14 on: February 22, 2010, 06:09:35 am
I do now that I am thinking about it. Also I think instead of just starting from square one, I should just make the head smaller to not look so large compared to the face.
Here's a quick edit showing what I mean.

Also is there a technique or something I could do to get rid of that little flat spot on the top right part of the hair? I can't figure out how to get rid of it.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2010, 06:19:57 am by Chrispy »

Offline Helm

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Re: [REF] Self Portrait

Reply #15 on: February 22, 2010, 06:57:59 am
Actually if anything I think he needs more top-of-the-head, not less. The studies below are very very rough and inaccurate but they should give you an idea about what I'm talking about.

The brow doesn't have much going for it in human beings, it's not an eye or a mouth, it's not as expressive. So we tend to, as artists, make the FACE on the head too big, because that's what interests us subconsciously. But if you want to learn to draw heads let's say 'classically' at some point you need to do head construction in steps like most art book guides show and then deviate from there.

Also small crit on the eyeline


Offline Chrispy

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Re: [REF] Self Portrait

Reply #16 on: February 22, 2010, 07:08:41 am
Thanks for the help, you've been great. I'll work on fixing the head and shading after I get some sleep, I have school tomorrow and it's late.  :blind:

Offline Chrispy

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Re: [REF] Self Portrait

Reply #17 on: February 22, 2010, 08:08:13 pm

I fixed up the shading and face a bit using Helms edit for reference. I still have some things to fix up shading wise. I haven't done much to the hair
EDIT
Fixed it up a bit

EDIT2: Made some final touches and added a new background.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2010, 10:47:29 pm by Chrispy »

Offline Manupix

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Re: [REF] Self Portrait

Reply #18 on: February 23, 2010, 02:44:09 am
Congrats for the improves!
Good bg, I like the composition of values you gave it, its light adds depth to the image, even though it's formal.

You might still give it some attention, on some points Helm raised and others.

Edit in 4 steps:



- saturate the portrait, colors are a bit flat against that bg;
- darken and redden hair. Not sure about redden, don't see from the photo what your real color is!
- important: recycle colors! I did it very grossly with the paint bucket, to hair and shirt, with some greens from bg. You get the idea. This will really unite the different parts of your pic. Do it also between hair and face colors which are separate ramps now.
- even more important: get that dithering under control! There's far too much of it, and far too systematic. I tried that quickly on the face. I think this piece needs a little of it, but this is the moment where each single pixel you add must be checked at 100 or 200%, and ditched if unnecessary! I didn't do it carefully enough: you have to check the effect on the lines, shapes, shading, and texture of the face.

This portrait really deserves the effort you did / will put in it! =)

Offline Chrispy

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Re: [REF] Self Portrait

Reply #19 on: February 23, 2010, 03:51:12 am

I saturated like you said I should, but I didn't make the hair redder cuz I felt it looked more like a dark red and not a brown. I recycled the colors and brought down the color count from 42 to 32 and tried to fix up the dithering. I also added a little something to his left shoulder because it's lack of shadow bugged me.