AuthorTopic: Present improvement  (Read 12684 times)

Offline Ultimaodin

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Present improvement

on: December 28, 2009, 11:11:56 am
Well I have to say I feel really ashamed at the present I gave my person and I want to improve it for them especially seeing as what Elk made their Santee.

So yeah I would love all Constructive Criticism and critique top help improve this piece for Elk.


I already started by trying to fix a few perspective issues.




ps the train was initially meant top be steampunkish but I don't really understand the genre.

Offline Lizzrd

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #1 on: December 28, 2009, 06:59:52 pm
Make the train have lot's of cogs and movy parts on it, visible. And some pipes.
Photocopier: the fact that arne can also code so well
Photocopier: is horrificly unfair

Offline Manupix

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #2 on: December 28, 2009, 09:59:08 pm
It could use some wheels and rails, it's not really readable as a train so far.
The dithering on metal is far too even, try to give it some texture. Also it conflicts with perspective on the top.
Light is a bit inconsistent: hard cast shadows but soft highlights.

Nothing to be ashamed of though!  :)

Offline Ultimaodin

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #3 on: January 01, 2010, 08:37:09 am
@lizz- Ah alrighty then, I will give it a go, not certain where I should add these but I will start playing around.

@Manupix- The bottom case thing is meant to cover the wheels but If it's causing readability issues I probably should add at least a 1/4 of some wheels.
Ahhhh, ok. Had someone tell me metal should be smooth. Maybe it's the steampunk style for metal to look worn. Tried altering the perspective because the top where the guy is standing is the attempted perspective. 15 degree.




I think it looks more like wood. :(   (only the front top barrel is done)
Might be the colour pallet, always been bad at colour choice.

I tried to tone the shadows down a tad, Unfortunately my eyes are sensitive to light so even though my monitor is darker than most I still tend to shy more towards darks.

I still am but thanks! Not yet up to the skill of many others.

Offline Jeremy

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #4 on: January 01, 2010, 09:02:20 am
The perspective's a little odd- is he standing ON the side of the train (rather than the top)?

Steampunk is very copper, wood and brass, perhaps you could add panels and bolts and everything to break up the large surfaces (Encountered the same problems on my SS :blind: ), and perhaps add some verdigris (The cool lookin' green stuff that forms when those metals corrode). And pipes and wheels and cogs :D

The gold colours are really good, but the rest of the colours are pretty straight-ramped.

Offline Lizzrd

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #5 on: January 01, 2010, 09:13:37 am
The person's perspective is wrong according to the train, so you oculd make the train like this:
Photocopier: the fact that arne can also code so well
Photocopier: is horrificly unfair

Offline Ultimaodin

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #6 on: January 02, 2010, 07:51:21 am
@Jeremy- No that is meant to be the roof/top. :(
I will do some research into copper,wood and brass then.
I might mess with the colour pallets a bit hen.

@Lizz- first issue I have with your edit is you've created a 45 degree angle, if you were to colour the roof the guy would look like he is leaning forward to quite a large degree. (Like Michael Jackson in smooth criminal)
The person's perspective is 15 degrees and that's also what I was trying to pull off for the train. I think the major issue is the proportion. My guy is a freaking giant on-top of the train and even though I was aiming to create a large guy but I think the size of his foot on top of the small roof distorts the view. I'm thinking I should re-make the guy a bit smaller, might help the overall image?

Offline Lizzrd

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #7 on: January 02, 2010, 10:49:02 am
Well your train doesn't look like he's standing on top of it, rather than the side, like osme sort of twisted gecko-shoe-user.
Photocopier: the fact that arne can also code so well
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Offline CaKsTeR

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #8 on: January 02, 2010, 05:50:43 pm
seems fine to me?

The guy on the train's skin colours could use a bit of alteration, they seem very saturated (right word here?)

Offline The B.O.B.

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Re: Present improvement

Reply #9 on: January 03, 2010, 05:21:57 am
I'm sorry if this is a bit short, but it's direct and to the point: stop relying on dithering too much. Focus on the basics first(volumes, perspective, primary color/hue selection, etc.) THEN focus on the pixel art afterward.....Also, don't be afraid to use references. They help. : )
my back hurts...