You're a barcode, now.

[Xion]

Yeah...

C&C, please.

[update below]

[Dhaos]

0.o wild. Nice piece xion, quite realistic, however I think its also a tad blurry. The suit seems fine since its velvety (maybe?) but the mask and where new colors meet is blurred, perhaps contrasting those areas would fix it.

blurry color shifts:
tie meets suit
goggle/glass meets mask
coat/suit meets undershirt

I also should mention your pallete is really sweet =D.

[Xion]

That was fast!
Thanks, I'm honoured to have such a comment from you. 
I think I see what you mean about the blurriness. I'll try to fix that.

[Helm]

This is very nice, but really, go the extra mile and rework the mirrored parts. Not from the ground up, just mix them up a little.

[Xion]

Better?

[Dhaos]

Tricky hehe... You are very close, definately getting there...

The lower part of the mask is clearer, however upper mask has no form now. I believe its (the upper mask area) has a shine, however shines usualy go highlight-midtone-shadow-highlight (right now there's a midtone inbetween the shadow and the next hightlight, that throws the shine effect off).

Also consider diming the glass/goggles, they're rather bright compared to the rest of the scene (or you could make them glow by illuminating the surrounding mask area).

As for the coat, try using the next blue tone up to AA (its actually a bit too crisp right now ^^U). After your next edit I'll probably do an edit myself because words can't compare to examples >_<.

I should also mention the folds were really great, most people have the hardest time with them.

[Rawsushi]

Another idea that may reduce the mirrored look would be the addition of buttons and button slits to the coat. May want those on there anyway.

[BioMors]

How is that overcoat being pulled together in the middle?  Is it just starched that way, or is there a draw string I can't see?  That's the main thing throwing me off- coats don't do that unless they're buttoned or something.

Second to that, the symmetry is still there a little too strong on the jacket- I think it's the silhouette of the thing- the inner and outer edges of the blue... it's just a bit too perfect, and yet wrinkled.  Perfect shape + imperfect wrinkles kind of creates a contrasting statement.  Is the jacket well starched and ironed (in which case it should have fewer wrinkles), or is it messed up a bit (in which case it should show along the silhouette)?

[Xion]

... however upper mask has no form now.

Ah, thanks for pointing that out. I hadn't noticed. I believe I've fixed that now.

Also consider diming the glass/goggles, they're rather bright compared to the rest of the scene (or you could make them glow by illuminating the surrounding mask area).

As much as I'd like to make the eyes glow, I dunno if I can pull that off. 

As for the coat, try using the next blue tone up to AA (its actually a bit too crisp right now ^^U).

Sorry, I didn't understand that at all.

I should also mention the folds were really great, most people have the hardest time with them.

Thank you!

Another idea that may reduce the mirrored look would be the addition of buttons and button slits to the coat. May want those on there anyway.

I noticed the jacket was a bit blank, but I didn't know why. I've added the buttons & slits, and think I'll add a pocket next.

How is that overcoat being pulled together in the middle?  Is it just starched that way, or is there a draw string I can't see?  That's the main thing throwing me off- coats don't do that unless they're buttoned or something.

I noticed that. Honestly, I don't know. 

Second to that, the symmetry is still there a little too strong on the jacket- I think it's the silhouette of the thing- the inner and outer edges of the blue... it's just a bit too perfect, and yet wrinkled.  Perfect shape + imperfect wrinkles kind of creates a contrasting statement.  Is the jacket well starched and ironed (in which case it should have fewer wrinkles), or is it messed up a bit (in which case it should show along the silhouette)?

Hmm...I'm actually a bit proud of the wrinkles [] but you're right. I don't want him to look messy, but I also don't want him to look...plain. Any suggestions?


C&C, please.

[Rawsushi]

I was going to suggest checking out the Men's Warehouse website, but it seems to be down at the moment.

The wrinkles are just a bit too heavy. It kinda looks like maybe he found that jacket behind his bed and just decided to wear it. I'm assuming that you want the suit to look pressed, right? Just think about what you'd like the stiffness or density of the fabric to be like. Personally, I'd kill off all of the wrinkles in the chest/shoulder area, and leave the ones on the bottom of the jacket (waist area). The wrinkles in the armpit should be lessened. It's a little too heavy there, and give the appearance that he's, for whatever reason, pressing very hard.

If after cleaning up the wrinkles the suit looks too plain, I'd suggest looking into very... um... flashy suits. Check out some of that crap that Michael Jackson or Elton John used to wear.

[Niss]

Good job so far! While you have the lightsources quite clearly defined I would add stronger shadows to seperate some parts. I mean the head here: There's also coming light from above if I'm not wrong right? So why not put some shadow below the head. Itcould use some more definition right now.

[Turbo]

This is awesome. I like the way the wrinkles flow to the center (yeah, they may not be physically 100% accurate, but they look "real" enough, i wouldn't touch them), and the velvety feel of the coat. And the surreality of it all .
The new mask looks much better too, nice metal look. Aren't the buttons on clothing usually on the left side of coats (from the perspective of the wearer)?
A single thing i have to point out is that i don't register the simbol in his word balloon as a barcode. It may be because i'm expecting a white, 2d looking balloon since that's what i'm used to seeing, instead of a antialiased, negative-image type one. Has a nice look to it though.
4.8 out of 5

[Xion]

Thanks for all the replies!

The wrinkles are just a bit too heavy...Personally, I'd kill off all of the wrinkles in the chest/shoulder area, and leave the ones on the bottom of the jacket (waist area). The wrinkles in the armpit should be lessened. It's a little too heavy there, and give the appearance that he's, for whatever reason, pressing very hard.

Aight.

I mean the head here: There's also coming light from above if I'm not wrong right? So why not put some shadow below the head. Itcould use some more definition right now.

Thanks, I hadn't noticed that.

This is awesome. I like the way the wrinkles flow to the center (yeah, they may not be physically 100% accurate, but they look "real" enough, i wouldn't touch them), and the velvety feel of the coat. And the surreality of it all  .

Thanks! I toned down the wrinkles a bit, though. How do you like 'em now?

Aren't the buttons on clothing usually on the left side of coats (from the perspective of the wearer)?

I wouldn't know  . Fixed.

i don't register the simbol in his word balloon as a barcode. It may be because i'm expecting a white, 2d looking balloon since that's what i'm used to seeing, instead of a antialiased, negative-image type one.

I've always liked the style of black bubbles. I guess it would be kinda hard to see the contents as barcode without the title, though...But I like it.
Oh well.

4.8 out of 5

I'm flattered.


I couldn't get the pocket right.
Whaddaya think, now?
Personally, I dislike the "<" arm...I don't know why, though. It just looks off...too flat, perhaps?

C&C please.

[Dhaos]

Nice tweaks xion, he's looking better with every update. I finally got around to an edit so here it goes:



[PALETTE]
-lotta dark tones that were nearly identical to each other so I merged them
-unified the colors of the mask highlights with the shirt
-unified alot of the blue tones (coat + text box)
-added a few orange tones for a glowy mask (since we all know all that glowy is awesome)

[PIXEL-PLACEMENT]
-used one more of the shirt tones to AA the coat (this might go against what I said in one of my earlier posts, sorry if its confusing)
-angled the shirt folds (pixel art in general works best with angles)
-on the coat, < side was flat because there were no breaks in the outline highlight (the folds would force certain areas to be darker than others)

[LIGHTING]
-that neat blue highlight on the mask should have a falloff (instead of light blue in the front of the mask, the hues should shift to a more natrual mask highlight color, aka greyish-green)
-highlighted around the googles to make them glow by choosing a saturated green and replacing alot of nearby tones
-I faded part of the image by reducing the highlight color as it went down to add variation, since the scene is quite dark anyways
-looking at my semi-final edit I realized the coat edge highlights could be alot brighter but I'm a feeling lazy..z...zzzzzzzzz

*note: I didn't have time to fix the balance issue (mirroed look) that would require a change of lighting and pose ^^U

There's probably more notes I left out but its 22:00 right now x_x. I hope this perversion helps you in some sick way >_<. If theres something else you dont understand dont hesistate to ask me z..z...zzzzz.....

[Helm]

If there was a thread showcase to explain to new people what sort of critique we want to see around here, Dhaos, this would be sticked right up there. Excellent critique, excellent edit (although it does some style alterations, but I'm sure Xion will be able to gather what he likes) and clean comment presentation. The constant reedits of the piece also show Xion cares about the critique he's been given and goes back to fix things. This is a wonderful thread.

[Xion]

W w! Thanks alot, Dhaos, that clears up quite a few things I was having trouble with...Especially about the mask glow and highlights.
I'll fix it up when I get a chance.

Oh, and you might not have noted it, but that undershirt rocks. I was having a ton of trouble with it.
Thanks again.

[Dhaos]

@Helm: Thanks Helm. It would seem I'm actually helping this time around haha. I used to have a really bad problem with explaining why I changed what I changed when people would ask for edit help.

@Xion: Glad this was helpful. Can't wait to see what you cook up in the end

[Xion]

I think I missed some AA on the lower sleeves...I'll fix it later.


Whew, that mask was tough.
Thanks alot for all the help, guys. Any more C&C will be welcome, but after I finish the sleeves I think I'll move on to something else.
Thanks again. I have alot of stuff to go by for future reference, now.

[David]

I don't really have much critique to give. Buttons are always on the right side though. I just wanted to see them next to one another, and the progress is fantastic. High fives all around.

[Dhaos]

Great job Xion, excellent improvement. I have a feeling that his mask was difficult to pixel due to its unclear shape. I was a bit confused during my edit ^^U. Your new piece still looks very good right now, so thats all that matters. Aren't glowy things cool XD.