AuthorTopic: Aryll and Tetra from Wind Waker and Ariel from The Little Mermaid(Nudity)  (Read 11446 times)

Offline Mike

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I just finished a self redline of an older version of Aryll from Wind Waker.(the first version sucked compared to this one)  I'm at the point where I think everything looks good so I need some help pointing out things that are not so good.  I am by no means a master of anatomy so that is why I am posting her here. 

** I should probably say that this is far from done and it is red outlined because that is just a basic outline of what I want.  I used red because it is easy to see and for some reason I just like using red.  The thickness, and messiness of the line will obviously be tightened up when I get closer to completion.  Also don't worry about the accessories, the "duck" on her head is actually a seagull, and she is holding a telescope in her hand.  Likewise she won't be naked in the final drawing, I prefer to draw what is under the clothes before I get bogged down with all that detail.** 

I'm sorry I sound so harsh and demanding, I'm really bad at writing...

Alright here she is,



*Update



Oh yeah forgot to say, just in case anyone was wondering(anyone at all) I am still working on my animation WIPS that were posted in a recent thread, this is just another project I am working on.


Oh I should post Tetra as well, at first I thought it was perfect but I think some critique on it will be good.  I think it is perfect so that is the extent of my visual ability but I'm sure critique will help me see flaws.



Oh and here is my unfinished background



Here it is plain...it totally sucks right now



Is there anyway I can get the title changed , I want to put some more art up here specifically Ariel from the Little mermaid.

She is a bit more naked, but I will be adding her seashells in the final version.  (I don't know if I am the only one but I like having nude versions of my girl drawings  :P )

I hope I don't get in trouble for the nudity...

 

This one is way bigger...

UPDATE*
« Last Edit: November 29, 2008, 10:33:26 pm by Mike »

Offline Willows

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #1 on: November 27, 2008, 05:49:36 am
In about two seconds, she'll be flat on her face. This ain't a balanced pose, not to mention I've got NO idea what she's supposed to be doing.

Yeah. Nothing really makes sense to me about the whole piece! I don't mean to be rude or offensive in any way, but I can't make any sense of anything in here (WHY the redline? WHY is she naked? WHAT is she doing? WHY is there a duck on her head? WHAT is she holding? etc etc etc) and generally, I'm sorry to say, it just ain't appealing.

More explanation of what you're trying to acheive would probably help any incoming critiques!

Offline Mike

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #2 on: November 27, 2008, 02:13:00 pm
The pose is balanced pal, and hello I said it was a WIP meaning it isn't even done...  I don't want to be a jerk either but don't make assumptions about a pose if you don't even try it.  Hell I just did I didn't fall over in 2 seconds.  Jesus who cares why there is a duck on her head.  Likewise she is naked(if you call this naked and not just anatomy study) because I'm NOT DONE!!  Holy crap do you understand what a WIP is at all?  Oh and thanks thanks a lot, thank you for coming in here and saying my drawing isn't appealing.  Listing off pointless things which have nothing to do with the anatomy.  You know what isn't appealing, I wake up first thing I do is come here to see if any kind soul has offered me help and what do I see instead?  A jerk who likes to ramble and doesn't have any tact.

Seriously the more I read your post the more ignorant you sound.  I'm just going to reiterate this for the last time, I'm NOT DONE!!

Also I have seen your work and you are really good so it is sort of a let down that you are so insensitive.

Update

I made her even more balanced and i removed the "duck" off her head because apparently some people are too easily distracted.

« Last Edit: November 27, 2008, 02:24:48 pm by Mike »

Offline dock

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #3 on: November 27, 2008, 02:27:00 pm
She's way too young for any breasts, she should be completely flat chested at her age.

Her legs are too long for wind-waker style too. They have a very distinctive short leg + long arms style.

Offline Mike

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #4 on: November 27, 2008, 02:50:49 pm
She is 14 in this picture but yeah I see what you mean.  I'm not sticking strictly to Wind Wakers art to be honest.  It's more or less my take on Wind Wakers art style.  I figured it would be more fun that way.  But yeah if she was in full Wind Waker style her legs would be way shorter.

Offline Bonahe

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #5 on: November 27, 2008, 02:52:35 pm
mmm, this would go good in a bar on top of a table, no really I think that would be a good background, also I believe that mike is correct about the shorter legs, but not to short, I actually thought that if you make them a bit wider you wont have to shorten them any.

Offline NaCl

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #6 on: November 29, 2008, 09:15:56 am
I think some of the personality was lost in the update. I guess the pose is more technically correct, but the original pose captured the character and honestly didn't look that unbalanced. I don't think Willows has played wind waker or maybe any Zelda, so I can see how he may be confused about a few things.

As for critique on the original piece, I don't have anything, but I would like to see the piece as it progresses.

Offline Willows

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #7 on: November 29, 2008, 10:40:18 am
!?

I've played through most of the bigger ones. Ocarina of time, Link to the past, Majora's Mask, Twilight princess... Never played Wind Waker, but I've looked at screenshots and understand where they were coming from as far as art and character design go. May'aps I'm blind, but I'm failing to see where this notion of ignorance is coming from or how it applies to wether or not I see things as off balance!

As for the whole "I'm a terrible person" bit, I'm tempted to just let it go and trust the mods to deal with it if it gets out of hand... but I must say you're only hurting yourself with an agressive rebuttal to a perceived attack. I believe my points were valid, and though it's entirely within your rights to argue that she IS in fact balanced, it is probably wiser to do so a little less like a jerk with no tact.

The reason I say it isn't appealing is because I see nothing in there that makes enough sense to me, and very little reason why anything is what it is or where it is. You mentioned a "self redline" in your first post, and I for one have noooooo idea what that is. If there's a reason for it, shout it out! If not, get the heck rid of the full-saturation red, because it hurts the eyes and sure ain't helping the appeal.

Some of the posing also doesn't make sense to me, which makes it pretty hard to give you "Anatomy crits". Is she resting the telescope (so that's what it is!) hand on her waist, or in front of her, or behind her? Is she leaning on something or standing up from a sitting position or balancing on a rope or.... whatever it is, it affects how things should be, where the weight is and where it is going. Totally applicable information.

Don't throw another hissy at me (or, hopefully, anyone else) next time I ("") give you an honest crit. It can get a hell of a lot worse than what I've given you, and if you honestly think I'm an insensitive ass, go take a look around at the other shit I've posted for other people. Though I'm not about to claim to be perfect, I think you'll find that more often than not I'm helpful and whoever recieved the crit is thankful and responds fairly.

That being said, thank you very much for adjusting the pose to a more balanced position! Even though you totally diasgreed with me, you gave it a shot anyways, and that'll get you pretty far, as far as crits go. Definitely work on that whole ten deep breaths before you hit that submit button, though, I'm not too keen on hearing another rant about much of an asshole I am.

Offline Helm

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #8 on: November 29, 2008, 12:30:17 pm
Willows: your inital post could be read as agressive.
Mike: you replied like an out and proud asshole.

I don't think I'll give strikes out right now. Mike, I suggest you apologize to Willows and stop sounding so demanding of the critique other people give you out of the goodness in themselves. Willows, I will suggest that you don't post somewhere if you don't appreciate the way a person is asking for critique.

Offline TrevoriuS

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Re: Aryll from Wind Waker (WIP)(nudity...sorta?)

Reply #9 on: November 29, 2008, 01:10:28 pm
The problem with the duck was that it was totally not dynamic. It could add to the piece by being there, if it was interacting with it. The duck could be just busy landing or more likely, flying away. Then Aryll would look either happily suprised or annoyed, scaring the creature off in probably both cases. The pose is mainly read as unbalanced, because there's no real depth in the body yet, while I figure the ass sticking out to the back, and the back bent forwards to end up a bit in front of the knees, creating a balanced looking pose if you'd look at it from 90 degrees rotation according to the current camera.

Although this idea can be brought with volumes rather than viewpoint changes, it may be good to draw these volumes anyway. This world consists of tones and colours, not of lines defining a shape. Lines only work for the definition of complex geometry, and only because we are able to read those. If you draw tones and with that create volumes anyone will understand them directly. That's just a recommended workflow I suggest to you for pieces like this, I don't follow it always either though (to my own annoyance most of the time haha).

Now, good luck on this but erm... put some clothes on. (Or draw a bar in the background).